income support nightmare !!!!!

raven83

cvm1978 wrote: »

thank you kaya64. i take your advice. i will stop my partner stopping over. i can understand how that looks. i was saying to him the other day about him not stopping. there is no need for it.
i feel like i have been judged on this forum, and i thank you for speaking out. x

Personally i would stop referring to him as your partner and maybe call him your boyfriend or your ex.

just_trying

Kaya64- Can you not read what she has written. She has a partner who comes over probably every day, eats at hers.They go shopping and stays but only 2 days a month (yeah right). They have stayed together before but all they did was argue. He is not an ex they are together. Obviously someone has phoned and reported her and they may have evidence that he was staying there all the time, there investigations can take ages anyway. Anyway there is no rule stating how many nights someone can stay, and if he has his owned home paying his own bills then there is no paper trail to her address. One bit of advice either live together and sort things out or make a clean split. Remember someone has probably reported you and they will keep on doing it especally if they feel nothing is being done about it. Good luck.

Mumto3cheekymonkeys

cvm1978 wrote: »

i will b back on tomorrow night. i thought a partner and a boyfriend meant the same thing!?!?

I was in a similar situation to you. Me and my partner lived together and then separated (cant really remember why but we were not together for about a year). I was then offered a place from the council as I was privately renting but they had a new property come up for me and my boys so we moved there. After a few months of being there me and my ex had a real heart to heart and had discussed what had gone wrong, we decided that there was alot of love still there and take it slow but give it another shot. by this time I had been signed of work sick and then made redundant (they got away with not paying me any money). Due to the state of my health my doctor suggested I claim income support rather then find another job, I didnt want to do this as I didnt want the drama it brought and we decided that my partner would move in and he would take care of us. However the council would not allow this as it was deemed to be overcrowding and they told me even though we are a couple we do not live together so he is not responsible to keep me and I should claim income support so I did. I had informed them of my partner and they agreed that I was entitled as he did not live with me. He stayed round about 1 a week and we often ate meals together and he took me shopping. we went on family days out together too however he had a toothbrush a razor and some toiletries and that was it. None of his post came through and he had no clothes there. I was told by someone who investigated me (as I had also been told on) That this was perfectly ok. However we made the choice to find somewhere bigger and keep ourselves. I see your point and your confusion but maybe you should both try counselling to try and sort your issues out so you can once again be a family I think as a child I would find it confusing that Daddy goes home every night . X

kaya64

just_trying wrote: »

Kaya64- Can you not read what she has written. She has a partner who comes over probably every day, eats at hers.They go shopping and stays but only 2 days a month (yeah right). They have stayed together before but all they did was argue. He is not an ex they are together. Obviously someone has phoned and reported her and they may have evidence that he was staying there all the time, there investigations can take ages anyway. Anyway there is no rule stating how many nights someone can stay, and if he has his owned home paying his own bills then there is no paper trail to her address. One bit of advice either live together and sort things out or make a clean split. Remember someone has probably reported you and they will keep on doing it especally if they feel nothing is being done about it. Good luck.

I have read what she has said , I couldn't live one day without seeing my children .

Mumto3cheekymonkeys

I couldn't either Kaya64

just_trying

Mumto3cheekymonkeys wrote: »

I was in a similar situation to you. Me and my partner lived together and then separated (cant really remember why but we were not together for about a year). I was then offered a place from the council as I was privately renting but they had a new property come up for me and my boys so we moved there. After a few months of being there me and my ex had a real heart to heart and had discussed what had gone wrong, we decided that there was alot of love still there and take it slow but give it another shot. by this time I had been signed of work sick and then made redundant (they got away with not paying me any money). Due to the state of my health my doctor suggested I claim income support rather then find another job, I didnt want to do this as I didnt want the drama it brought and we decided that my partner would move in and he would take care of us. However the council would not allow this as it was deemed to be overcrowding and they told me even though we are a couple we do not live together so he is not responsible to keep me and I should claim income support so I did. I had informed them of my partner and they agreed that I was entitled as he did not live with me. He stayed round about 1 a week and we often ate meals together and he took me shopping. we went on family days out together too however he had a toothbrush a razor and some toiletries and that was it. None of his post came through and he had no clothes there. I was told by someone who investigated me (as I had also been told on) That this was perfectly ok. However we made the choice to find somewhere bigger and keep ourselves. I see your point and your confusion but maybe you should both try counselling to try and sort your issues out so you can once again be a family I think as a child I would find it confusing that Daddy goes home every night . X

Really strange that the council would say your partner moving in was not allowed as it would cause overcrowding. Your partner was also not responsible to "keep" you as you must have claimed he was not living with you thats why you were getting income support.

Mumto3cheekymonkeys

Yes he was not living with me as he was not allowed to live with me as it would be intentionally overcrowding. I had to get there permission for a new person to be added to the tenancy and they told me that the flat was only for 3 people and no more (i had both boys by then) So he stayed with his rents and I tried getting an exchange.

AimeesMum_2

I read this thread with interest.

Like the OP, I am in a relationship with the father of my kids. He is over some nights...usually after the kids are in bed, looks after them in my house 2 days a week while I work, and sometimes stays over.

I work full time, claim CTC but just get the childcare element and don't get any other means tested benefit. Are you saying by this thread that he shouldn't be allowed to claim his means tested incapacity benefit and that I should be expected to support him?

Torry_Quine

AimeesMum wrote: »

I read this thread with interest.

Like the OP, I am in a relationship with the father of my kids. He is over some nights...usually after the kids are in bed, looks after them in my house 2 days a week while I work, and sometimes stays over.

I work full time, claim CTC but just get the childcare element and don't get any other means tested benefit. Are you saying by this thread that he shouldn't be allowed to claim his means tested incapacity benefit and that I should be expected to support him?

Incapacity benefit isn't means tested although he will soon be assessed for ESA and if in the WRAG then will get it for one year before it becomes means tested.

HappyMJ

AimeesMum wrote: »

I read this thread with interest.

Like the OP, I am in a relationship with the father of my kids. He is over some nights...usually after the kids are in bed, looks after them in my house 2 days a week while I work, and sometimes stays over.

I work full time, claim CTC but just get the childcare element and don't get any other means tested benefit. Are you saying by this thread that he shouldn't be allowed to claim his means tested incapacity benefit and that I should be expected to support him?

You need to be careful. That's all this thread really is about. If you are going to be in a relationship with someone and have children with them you are both either supporting each other and the children or you do not have a relationship. You would probably be entitled to more in your pocket after income and expenses if you lived together than not. Your combined expenses would be lower and the children would be better off having both parents around. You would save on childcare due to his permanent presence in your house.