Worried About The Future...

Part_Mouse

No words of advise I'm afraid, I'm so sorry for your loss,hearing how close you were to your mum has bought a tear to my eye.

x

Popperwell

Part_Mouse wrote: »

No words of advise I'm afraid, I'm so sorry for your loss,hearing how close you were to your mum has bought a tear to my eye.

x

Thank You Part Mouse,

The Coroner suggests that I could not have done any more than I did and they don't seem to have any doubts about what took Mum and that we could've changed things or she could have had any longer so I have to believe them as I assume if they had any doubts they would have said so and be holding an inquest.

I try not to feel guilty that I did not bring Mum home as she always wanted to be back at home and had a nice smile on her face at the thought of being here again(she was was only in the Nursing Home 34 days)

Initially Mum liked me being there through the night and I was willing to do that(and sleep during the day)I think that nights are the worse and when you feel lonely and vulnerable but I was told I could not do that by the Home Manager, towards the end(and perhaps that was a clue, I was allowed to stay)

One night I remember I had gone home at approx 11pm perhaps a little later Mum was settled. At 12.40am they brought me back to the home because could not rest without me being there)and I stayed all night holding her hand.

It would appear that what is decided as the amount of money that goes to probate depends on the bank and they set the threshold so in theory if they decided the amount was £2,000 or £50,000 they are to blame.

Today, when I applied for the forms to do Probate myself the Government department suggested that if when the funeral costs are removed from Mum's Estate depending on how low the capital is reduced some banks might waiver the probate and they felt that as the wills are straight forward(What is Mum's is mine and vice versa)they are a little surprised that Probate has happened. And its unfortunate.

They also suggested that there is no time limit as to when you have to sort out Probate(It is not urgent)so does that mean that I can stay as I am and leave Mum's savings sitting there indefinately and that way I still receive help and apply for Mum's savings some time in the future that suits me. Or in theory if I did that eventually would the Government or the bank take Mum's money and it would be lost forever?

Whatever it looks as though the Solicitor won't be getting the money now.

Mojisola

Popperwell wrote: »

It would appear that what is decided as the amount of money that goes to probate depends on the bank and they set the threshold so in theory if they decided the amount was £2,000 or £50,000 they are to blame. They set the rate.

It isn't set by the banks. The cut-off point is £5000. Estates under this generally don't need to go to probate; estates over that do.

https://www.direct.gov.uk/en/governmentcitizensandrights/death/preparation/dg_10029799

Popperwell

Mojisola...thank you,

No one would turn down £5,000 and you can do a lot with such a sum, if it was given perhaps as a gift but if you are poor such an amount is such a small cut off point. A few utility bills or a sudden emergency and its gone. I'm sure no one will be pleased whatever you set a threshold at but in work, out of work, ill or retired in this day and age the amount you can have in savings is far too low and it should be raised. Its not going to happen of course. £25,000+ would be more appropriate in this day and age.

I can quite understand with the poor interest in and the economy as it is why many probably still have a little money hidden in the house and especially why those who are elderly never trusted the banks.

Banks are fortunate that people do still deposit money. In reality they still make their profits out of business.

juliep123

Hi
Just popped in to see how you are today.I'm glad the coroner has put your mind at rest-you did everything you could for your mum so no regrets.
I agree with taking everything to your CAB appointment next week.Hopefully they will be able to sort things out for you.
I hope the funeral goes as well as it can - please keep us updated on how you are getting on.
Take care
Jules x

Popperwell

Thank you Juliep123,
That is very thoughtful of you...

I still get doubts, like if the cancer had been diagnosed when Mum was not as weak, she might still be here as I have a feeling we could have beaten this but we thought it was a hemmoroid and had no reason to think otherwise but nothing can be changed and I must not beat myself up.

The Coroner has accepted the causes for Mum's passing. If they'd had doubts I'm sure they'd have taken it up. And so should I accept their findings, its not going to change anything.

My doubts are natural and hopefully will lessen. I don't think like this all the time...and I have times where I am calm and collected.

I think we may have managed to have a congregation of perhaps nineteen people for the funeral. I have not seen any sign or anyone mention flowers so there might only be mine and those promised from America from one of Mum's remaining brothers. Which are supposed to be being delivered to my house today but so far nothing has been delivered.

The funeral will be difficult I am sure but I may get some closure, its when I close the door when I am home that it will be very flat and I will realise I am starting a new life and am alone.

I have some medical problems of my own that I will have to deal with soon and though I have had enough of hospitals I suspect I will need an op and I'll be doing it all on my own...

Popperwell

I have found out until I come into Mum's savings I will receive what I always have but once I receive her money I have to use it and I will pay full rent and most of the Community Charge. The only thing that will not be touched is my Disability Living Allowance as long as I am awarded it.

They will only start to help me when the money drops by quite a sum and that won't take long. I can buy food etc...but they want me to keep utility bills/receipts if I buy anything on a credit card and certainly proof if I was to buy something like a mattress.

They are doing this because they think that many people pass money to friends and family to get help again from the benefits department. Believe me what Mum has will not last long and I don't have any friends or family to pass money to if I could. And yet I am going to have to come right down in my finances.

Does anyone really think that life on benefits for most of us is great. Believe me if I could avoid taking money from the Government and jumping through the hoops I would.

My future really does look bleak and not much to look forward to. But I must try and stay positive and I have to believe that all will be well. Life in 21st century UK...fantastic! It won't take long to go through Mum's money...

I am wondering how I will manage and I don't know how others on here do it. Some may have the advantage that they live in their own property so the worry of finding rent isn't a problem. But I bet its still costly paying utility bills, community charges and buying food. Repairing the property. Savings will still dwindle.

I know that its not just me going through this so its not a case of me feeling sorry for myself. Pity the politicians do not live in the real world that many have to...

Mojisola

Popperwell wrote: »

I can buy food etc...but they want me to keep utility bills/receipts if I buy anything on a credit card and certainly proof if I was to buy something like a mattress.

There's a lot of conflicting advice about deprivation of assets on here at the moment. Who told you that you would have to account for all your spending apart from food? Was that verbal or in writing?

I don't think they have the power to make you account for almost every penny you spend and it's going to stress you out, being worried about every thing you buy.

I would take advice from CAB about this.

Popperwell

The local benefits helpline at the local council were so busy they refused to leave me on the phone line and kept closing the call. I went to the DWP and they were the one's who said they would be watching and I should keep bills.

They are watching that I don't ry to pass Mum's savings to family/friends so I can claim Income Support and Housing Benefit again. They'll be lucky there are no friends and one of Mum's remaining brothers and that's it! He's in in his 80's and lives quite a distance away.

Financially as far as I know he's fine...

Oh yes, I want to have only £6,000 in the bank and hope I will get benefit and live on a really tight budget, skrimp and save(save that's a laugh!)

Until Mum's money is freed via probate I continue to get all my entitlements(suspect we're talking weeks)

I bit the bullet and decided whilst I would like to take it out of Mum's estate it could be weeks before that is freed up, so as I still have a little money coming in...I bought my first TV license.

It works out around 40p a day and I access to all the channels available on Freesat. As I have a Sky box but I don't subscribe that's free and I don't want to look at four walls all day...I was going to just watch TV on the net but I'll worry next year if my budget is tighter.

What can I do for 40p a day? As long as the TV/sat box doesn't break down...

Because I have paid up front for my telephone line and have free Broadband for 6 months that comes in for this year at 50p a day so that together is 90p a day. What can you do for that kind of money...that's 24/7 entertainment.

Again I hope the PC doesn't go wrong(even though it is a second hand PC)I may always have to look for a refurbished pc...if it plays my burned CD's and DVD's and music that's all I ask.

Next year if things are tighter I may have to think about dropping the TV license and find another internet deal. Or watch the TV on the net...But wherever I am at least I have entertainment.

So the two together come out around 90p per day so that's still good value.

Now can I afford the electric?:rotfl:

I'd be lost without my pc's and net access. And until I purchased the TV license I was just using the radio for entertainment.

Popperwell

I'm trying not to be negative...honest I am and things may still be fine...

However...

Earlier on I asked how anyone can survive in our modern UK. I mean I need prescriptions to keep me alive and stablise my condition. If I lived in Wales or Scotland I'd get them for free I have found out until I come into Mum's money I am still as was so in theory my last prescription which I paid for was still free so I may try and get a refund or start my prepaid certificate at a later date. I'll give them a ring perhaps tomorrow they'll be closed at present.

I did a small shop this evening, all I purchased was...

Clover(Half Price)
Bread
Milk
Bread Buns(Two packs of six(total of twelve)for 95p
Spring Onions(Half price)
Tomatoes,
Lettuce(Half Price)
Bananas
Cheap eggs(10)
Cheap Lemonade
Potatoes
Half a Cucumber

That's a fairly basic shop you must agree so what do you think it cost me?

£14.42 and because mobility is poor I had to get a taxi home so that added another £3...That's £17.42!

And I'll have to restrict how often I go out to avoid paying for a taxi...If I walk it takes forever and I do struggle but it just takes someone to say that I can walk and report me even though I am extremely slow and who knows what may happen.

I could've done with another two taxi's today where I had to go but I tried to save the cost and it took ages to get where I wanted to be and I'm paying for it now that I am home again. But the £6 I saved you could say went towards the cost of my food.

To some extent I have to eat reasonably well because of health but I can see me eatinglots of the same bland food(cereal and milk)baked beans and the like or cold meals and sandwiches. Or doing without an odd meal. Simple food is often fine but I suspect sometimes now there will be things I can no longer consider.

Its no wonder more people are using food banks...it's frightening!