Worried About The Future...

cattie

If furniture and things need replacing, or decorating needs to be done, then as long as you keep receipts and don't buy the stuff from Harrods, then you shouldn't fall foul of DWP/council benefit office. These kind of thing are allowable as is a holiday.

If in any doubt about what you can and cannot spend a little of the money on, give the DWP advice line a call.

You have some lovely memories of your mum to carry you through, so just you keep hold of those. Don't make any rash decisions about moving, it's wise to let time go by so you can be sure what it is you really want to do.

Popperwell

Thanks Cattie...
You know Mum was so well liked if I was in a taxi and another driver found out they would come through on the radio to ask how Mum was doing. Now that really is a tribute to Mum.

Queries

Dear Popperwell, I apologise that I do not have anything to add to the previous (positive and helpful) posts.

Please, please, do not be too hard on yourself. As well as your own health problems you are dealing with a lot of grief and unnecessary feelings of guilt - which (believe it or not are normal) under your circumstances of losing somebody you loved dearly. Please try and forget the what ifs, you have done the very best you could - if I had ever had children, having a son as caring as you would have been brilliant. What more could a mum have wanted?

Also, as regards the future benefit proposals, I am not saying they won't happen, but nothing, as yet, is carved in stone.

Please do not make any rushed decisions, there is plenty of time to decide what to do when some of your grief lessens. Also, if you feel down, then do not be ashamed to contact the Samaritans (number in the 'phone book) - who apart from a listening ear may also be able to give you some valuable advice regarding the worries you have, or at least point you in the right direction for the help and support which may help you.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you all the very, very best both now and in the future!

mumblub

Popperwell wrote: »

Thanks Cattie...
You know Mum was so well liked if I was in a taxi and another driver found out they would come through on the radio to ask how Mum was doing. Now that really is a tribute to Mum.

My heart goes out to you reading your posts...all i can say is please try and start going out even if it is only standing 5 mins at your front door you sound like a wonderful son so do your mother proud and look for a brighter future for yourself...let people who reach out to talk or help you in .always remember your mother will always be watching over you :A

Popperwell

Thank you Mumblub and Queries, Such posts do help, I am who I am because of my parents. Its up to me to make Mum proud of me, my life is less special without Mum being part of it but I would not want Mum to suffer un-necessarly. Its not self pity either. As has been said the thoughts I am having are all natural and will take time to change into hopefully a more positive outlook.

I didn't worry Mum about how I thought things would be and Mum said I would be alright and I would be taken care of so lets go with that and worry if things are not so...it is early days yet.

Thanks again

xx

Queries

Dear Popperwell

Look after yourself, dear, it would have been what your mum would have wanted. My positive thoughts are with you - grief and what ifs are normal, take care of yourself, look after yourself, and grieve in your own time - stay well!

juliep123

Hi
I just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss - your mum was very lucky to have you!
There is a charity called Cruise that help people who have been recently bereaved(if you google you should find the number).Give them a call,they are really helpful with practical and emotional issues following a death.
Hope this helps
Best wishes for the future
Jules

paddedjohn

OP, dont worry about the benefits for now because untill probate is sorted and the cash is transferred over to you then you are not over any limits. Also wanted to mention that the council may be able to let you transfer to a smaller property, maybe a flat would be better for you if your sight is restricted.

Blackpool_Saver

Just wanted to send hugs and say please try not to worry, it's scary being alone I know, but you do get through. You have friends on here too.

Popperwell

Thank you for the further posts you have been kind to send to me...

This may be a bit long forgive me. I have missed out the visit to the Chapel of Rest and the vicar today...

I went to Mum's bank with a copy of the will and death certificate and was greeted by the horror story that there is another problem...I'm honest so why stop now...Mum has £20,044 and that has taken away any help I am given so I will have to pay full rent £100 a week(I think)and community charge(25% discount because I am single)Now, the funeral has cost approx £3,000 so Mum's savings will come down to £17,000 but because the amount is over £20,000 it has to go to probate. So Mum's savings could come down I have been told by another £2,000+ paid to a solicitor. So they are going to be nearer £15,000.

And you can imagine if you are paying £100 rent and Community charge Mum's money won't last long. As long as I am still awarded DLA that's only approx £80 so I will have to dip into Mum's savings often. DLA is not touched. After assessment who knows.

I understand that you are given financial help once you reach £16,000 and more as the money decreases.

A friend suggested moving into a smaller property but I was talking to someone today who lives in the town I went to for Mum's will and she lives in a two bedroom house and she pays only £10 less than I am at present so you move for the sake of £10? And as rents increase yearly eventually you'll be paying the same amount.

But of course next year(again someone thinks it happens in September this year)any bed room unused if in what is called Social housing you have to pay £13-£14.

The Government said that they were leaving long term tennants alone and only new tennants might be told to move elsewhere but if they keep bringing in these kind of changes, people will be forced out because they cannot afford to stay but as a few people have said to me today...where are all the smaller properties for couples and especially single people?

This friend says that I should be looking for a one bedroom flat. But where would they put me and will it a part of town that is rundown. Or another town.

Now as for probate someone at the Funeral Directors says don't rush into any decision about your future. Take some time. But they also said that they have heard that you can do your own Probate and save calling a solicitor in by looking for the forms on line, downloading them and sending them back in to wherever it is you send them into.

Anyone any idea if this is so? Otherwise, I have an appointment with a solicitor for Friday but if this could be done, I could cancel that meeting and if I do it soon I can avoid paying a cancellation fee. And stop paying the extra money to a solicitor and pay it to the Housing Association.

Thanks...