At wits end with daughter

Mojisola

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I am wondering whether some specialist tuition may be helpful.

The Dyslexia Institute (see here:) http://www.dyslexiaaction.org.uk/Pages/Display.aspx?IDPost=02caef7b-d9da-42bf-8209-65f6c4483fd5

will probably be able to help with people who are trained in this field.

I know you are pleased with the support/help your daughter's school is giving but an hour's one to one tuition will help to build your daughter's confidence and self esteem as well as exploring strategies to assist her in her learning.

Of course your daughter would need to be keen to do this but before you approach her try and find out if there is specialist tuition in your area by visiting the link.

It may be different for averagemummy because she's happy with the school but my son did Saturday morning lessons with the local dyslexia group and he said he learned and achieved more in one hour than he did all week at school.

If your daughter wants to be like everyone else, I'm sure you can find ways to help her fit in. My son was happy to know that he was different - better in some ways and worse in others - so different rather than inferior. If a dyslexic's strengths can be encouraged, self-esteem shouldn't be a problem.

Many schools still struggle to work properly with dyslexics but colleges and universities seem to be much better so, if she wants to go onto further education, things will get easier.

When exam times come round, make sure the school applies for her to have extra time or even someone who will write her dictated answers down.

grey_lady

I'm suprised that people are that ignorant that they think a child with dsylexia needs psychiatric help.

betsie

My 9 year old DD was diagosed with dyslexia in January. She has come on so much since then as her current teacher is excellent.
One thing I was told was never to say your child is dyslexic always say they have dyslexia - it is a condition they have and not something that defines them.
I would also second the horse riding. My DD has taken to it so well and is a complete natural - something that amazes me as she was always scared of animals when she was little.
Re the tantrums and crying, my DD is like this too. I do worry about this side of it as she seems unable to tell me what is upsetting her and just goes mad and cries and stomps off - but I just let her cool down now and then try and talk it through with her.
I am trying to see the positives with her diagnosis, at least I can now explain her shyness in social situations and frustrations. Dyslexia makes her extra special and she definately isnt stupid. As parents all we can do is help them to understand the condition they have and learn to live with it.

aliasojo

grey_lady wrote: »

I'm suprised that people are that ignorant that they think a child with dsylexia needs psychiatric help.

Funny that, because I'm surprised people are that ignorant that they can't see past the dyslexia and see that the low self esteem and lack of confidence really needs addressed just as much as the dyslexic aspect does and for some kids this can be more of a problem than the dyslexia itself.

You do actually know what kind of input a psychiatric nurse would likely have in a case like this I take it? Since you are so sure it is not needed I mean?

It would be a bit silly of you to pooh pooh the idea if you didn't realise what the input would be, so that's why I'm assuming you do actually know and have a firm basis for forming that opinon?

Having had experience of this, I can say it is helpful for a kid with these issues.

I also did earlier say....

aliasojo wrote: »

Not all the advice will work for you but you may get something useful.

I threw suggestions into the ring because of what helped my daughter. They may not be suitable for the OP but at least they were made in an effort to help.

You on the other hand have posted only once on this thread simply to have a dig at other people's suggestions.

Well done you. :beer:

averagemummy

Thank you for all your suggestions. It's taken me a good day to think through everything and think how we can apply it.

We are still going to the DR's this evening. Not because I think she needs psychiatric help or anything but because I think she needs something more than I can provide. She needs help in how to cope with her feelings of inadequacy / low self esteem and loss of confidence, again I am putting words in her mouth here but this is how I see it. It may be that I am somehow making this worse. I am not dyslexic so perhaps I do approach this wrong.

We had a lovely family day yesterday - pizza hut for lunch and then lots of time together. She decided to try the drama/dance club again, was a bit anxious going in but then she had a great time and wants to go back again next week. I had a word with the teacher to make sure they understood everything. DD had loved this club last year - her age group are mainly the chorus line so she does lots of singing and dancing which she loves. She is very expressive and loves making up rhymes and songs.

I think Brownies may have to go. It's tonight and she has already said she desn't want to go, which is fine. Bizarely enough she is desperate to go to the Brownie camp in the summer? But I have suggested to her that if she doesn't really like the other girls when meeting every week, she might not like being with them for 5 days! That's a bit of a worry.

Nearly forgot to add, I've made contact with a local dyslexic centre so I will be ringing them today to see if we can make an appt to find out how they can help us. In a way, the self esteem issues and anxiety have become bigger problems than the dyslexia, if that makes sense.

267

averagemummy wrote: »

Thank you for all your suggestions. It's taken me a good day to think through everything and think how we can apply it.

We are still going to the DR's this evening. Not because I think she needs psychiatric help or anything but because I think she needs something more than I can provide. She needs help in how to cope with her feelings of inadequacy / low self esteem and loss of confidence, again I am putting words in her mouth here but this is how I see it. It may be that I am somehow making this worse. I am not dyslexic so perhaps I do approach this wrong.

We had a lovely family day yesterday - pizza hut for lunch and then lots of time together. She decided to try the drama/dance club again, was a bit anxious going in but then she had a great time and wants to go back again next week. I had a word with the teacher to make sure they understood everything. DD had loved this club last year - her age group are mainly the chorus line so she does lots of singing and dancing which she loves. She is very expressive and loves making up rhymes and songs.

I think Brownies may have to go. It's tonight and she has already said she desn't want to go, which is fine. Bizarely enough she is desperate to go to the Brownie camp in the summer? But I have suggested to her that if she doesn't really like the other girls when meeting every week, she might not like being with them for 5 days! That's a bit of a worry.

Nearly forgot to add, I've made contact with a local dyslexic centre so I will be ringing them today to see if we can make an appt to find out how they can help us. In a way, the self esteem issues and anxiety have become bigger problems than the dyslexia, if that makes sense.

Again, I'm sure it will all be fine. As parents, we all suffer the occasional little dip in our positive attitude and need to gather our thoughts. Looks like yours is now passing. Good luck.:j

Mojisola

averagemummy wrote: »

Nearly forgot to add, I've made contact with a local dyslexic centre so I will be ringing them today to see if we can make an appt to find out how they can help us. In a way, the self esteem issues and anxiety have become bigger problems than the dyslexia, if that makes sense.

But they are linked - as you help her with the self esteem and anxiety, she will be more confident generally with her work and, as she learns techniques to help with reading and writing and understands how her brain is different but not deficient, her anxiety will reduce and her self confidence will rise.

BitterAndTwisted

averagemummy wrote: »

We are still going to the DR's this evening. Not because I think she needs psychiatric help or anything but because I think she needs something more than I can provide. She needs help in how to cope with her feelings of inadequacy / low self esteem and loss of confidence.

I agree, she probably does need help to make sense of what's going on in her life but I'm surprised that you believe that you cannot provide it. That thought makes me quite sad, actually.

Life often has its compensations and I daresay your daughter has abilities and talents which are equal to or exceed those of other kids of her own age-group. A mother, the one person in this world who should be fully aware of every single one of them shouldn't find it hard to remind her child of all the positives. That is the role of a good parent, even for a child who has no particular educational difficulties.

You might consider how giving your daughter some independence could boost her confidence. She's coming up to the age now where a little loosening of the apron-strings could do wonders for her self-esteem.

Mojisola

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Life often has its compensations and I daresay your daughter has abilities and talents which are equal to or exceed those of other kids of her own age-group.

I'd be very surprised if this wasn't the case. If you've got blinkered through worry about her not keeping up with the literacy, ask family and friends. When you identify her strengths, give her plenty of opportunity to use them and recognise her abilities when she does well.

It may be that she has lost sight of what she's good at so encourage her to see her own value.

cte1111

Just want to say well done for being such a good Mum and putting so much effort into looking after your children and understanding their needs.

On the brownie point - my DD is 9 and loves brownies, has done from the start and wants to carry on with guides. One of her friends though only really joined because she liked the idea of brownie camp, she did enjoy the camping but after that decided she didn't want to carry on with brownies itself. I think camping is a different kind of fun to a couple of hours in a church hall so your DD might well enjoy this too.