New baby - any good tips on managing visitors?

dizziblonde

Actually the biggest annoyance I found when we got home from hospital was flipping midwives and health visitors coming by (I say "flipping" - actually they're all lovely - I'd just love a couple of days of being in PJs and dressing gown instead of being up, dressed and looking vaguely responsible enough to be in charge of a small person)! At least the first day they planned it so they all arrived together and I got it out of the way in one go - but there's been one or the other around 4 days out of 5 all last week... then today the health visitor rang suggesting I pop down to the baby clinic (baby has mild jaundice they're monitoring and she wanted to keep an eye on it), tomorrow the midwife's around again... never mind the relatives!

mildred1978

dizziblonde wrote: »

Actually the biggest annoyance I found when we got home from hospital was flipping midwives and health visitors coming by (I say "flipping" - actually they're all lovely - I'd just love a couple of days of being in PJs and dressing gown instead of being up, dressed and looking vaguely responsible enough to be in charge of a small person)! At least the first day they planned it so they all arrived together and I got it out of the way in one go - but there's been one or the other around 4 days out of 5 all last week... then today the health visitor rang suggesting I pop down to the baby clinic (baby has mild jaundice they're monitoring and she wanted to keep an eye on it), tomorrow the midwife's around again... never mind the relatives!

I had to have the midwife round every day for a fortnight to administer anti-clotting jabs (to me). I certainly didn't bother getting me or baby dressed for her!

We don't meet the HV here until baby is 4 weeks old.

dizziblonde

mildred1978 wrote: »

I had to have the midwife round every day for a fortnight to administer anti-clotting jabs (to me). I certainly didn't bother getting me or baby dressed for her!

We don't meet the HV here until baby is 4 weeks old.

Yeah I'm in a bit of a funny situation since the baby was a preemie and we spent time in hospital bringing us right out of hospital in the dead zone where the midwives still visit but the health visitors are taking over. At one point we were looking at the hospital's neo-natal continuing care team coming out and having to go back into clinic for that as well - but they've decided we're above their cutoff to need to do that now - otherwise I'd get absolutely no peace at all!

JodyBPM

I've got to be honest, and say that I find the idea of "managing" visitors fairly precious tbh. Yes, you will have a new baby, and yes, you will be tired, but you've got to get on with life! Be delighted that you have people who want to visit, and welcome them with open arms! Obviously they have to take you/the house how it comes, and phoning first to make sure you aren't sleeping in the first day or two is a good idea.

As for expecting other people to do my housework rather than spending time with the baby, that's just plain rude IMO! Giving birth didn't stop me being able to push a hoover around or load the dishwasher! (may be slightly different after a C-Section, when asking for help with things you genuinely can't do is acceptable)

Honestly, you can't live in a bubble. After my first I was back to normal (well a whole new version of normal!) within a couple of days, with my second, I had the older one to look after, so had to be back to normal the moment I stepped out of hospital! I had the sense to batch cook and freeze meals so that I didn't have to take baby to the supermarket until about 10 days old, but apart from that, life just went on as normal. TBH, newborn babies sleep a LOT, and are 100% portable, and are considerably easier to deal with than toddlers - this is the easy bit! Sleep deprivation can be a bit of a killer, but we dealt with that by going to bed earlier (about 9ish) and getting up later (with the first anyway, not a chance when we had no 2 as we had child no1 to care for). I can't imagine any guests would plan to come round between the hours of 9pm and 9am!

RadoJo

Well, I couldn't sit down for the first week or so after ours was born, and I think the sight of me hovering around in my PJs reminded people not to stay too long. We weren't allowed any visitors in hospital, which was actually a blessing as I was never more than about 5 seconds away from whipping a boob out as my son needed feeding whenever he opened his eyes!
Our midwives told us to blame them for any rules that we wanted to impose on visitors - it was a great idea and meant that we were able to pass the buck a little and manage people's expectations when we invited them round.

sinister1

I agree with JodyBPM. Managing visitors (for me) just sounds a little too corporate. If, like us, you have the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents expect plenty of visits but you are well within your rights to request a bit of notice. My dad and stepmum are always popping in without notice in spite me constantly asking for notice the worst was when DD1 was a week old and I was getting to grips with a 'mooing' breast pump.

We had my mum here most days in the first week and it was a great help on the housework front (it has never been my forte at the best of times). The only thing that made me uncomfortable was MIL staying whilst the midwife was asking me about my stitches.

Maybe have a day or two in hospital and then arrange one visit a day? Tbh I was so excited with DD1 that I couldn't wait to show her off.

Good luck and enjoy!

Taadaa

I think that new mums should do what suits them best. If you want lots of visitors and support, fair enough. If you would rather be left alone to set up a routine, fair enough. There isn't a right or wrong here, just personal preference.

mildred1978

sinister1 wrote: »

I agree with JodyBPM. Managing visitors (for me) just sounds a little too corporate. If, like us, you have the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents expect plenty of visits but you are well within your rights to request a bit of notice.
!

Unless, as in my case, they live hundreds of miles away and visiting involves a stay of several days and nights