New baby - any good tips on managing visitors?

NBirdy

I've bought a Bebe Au Lait breastfeeding cover as I'm not comfortable breastfeeding in front of people, even my own parents. I found with my other children I felt a bit left out and unsociable being shut in another room when visitors came round (first child used to take over an hour each feed), so this time I'm going to try to be more relaxed and stay in the same room, albeit covered up from neck to lap!

gsymoo

We made it clear no visitors after 6pm which allowed us to bath and settle the baby. With my second I made sure tea / coffee / sugar was left on a tray by the kettle. When visitors arrive they can make themselves (and you!) a cup.
Don't put up with people who constantly pop round for hours, my MIL assumed she'd be visiting everyday for hours, she was told the longest she could stay was 30mins (she only lives 5min away) and everyday was to much. Most people will understand, esp. if they've had children!

Hope all goes well and enjoy, they grow up to quick!

dizziblonde

Don't do it our way (not planned - circumstances turned out like that!) - we'd planned to have MIL staying in a hotel nearby to help dog-sit when the big day came... I'd vowed no mothers or mothers-in-law in the hospital!

7 weeks before the big event, my parents come down to stay for the weekend at a local hotel (we've lost our guest room to become the baby's room - tragically - I can recommend this move when it comes to avoiding having to put legions of people up!)... and the night of the evening before they were due to leave to head home... I end up in hospital with recurrent stomach pains. Turns out my waters had sprung a premature leak - cue a midnight "DO NOT FREAK OUT" phonecall to my mother... set of visitors number 1 on delivery suite... they headed home reassured by the hospital they weren't expecting a kick-off any time soon.

Later that week my MIL was due to come down to help get the house in order before the baby comes... we ring her to let her know what's happened and she starts to rearrange her flight to come down the following day... that day comes - I go into full blown labour - just as my MIL is in a taxi to get to the hospital to see me, who she thinks is just being kept in for infection control... she rolls in when I was at the pushing stage - and then I kicked her out cos she was driving me nuts with the "ooooh push push push push push" thing.

Roll forward a couple of weeks to when they let me out - my parents have already arranged to come down and visit me in hospital that weekend - only they discharge us as they're on the motorway in transit... so we arrive home, about 10 minutes later with the family showing up!

Just to show the best laid plans can go completely to pot though!

CH27

I seem to have done things completely differently to most here:rotfl:

I let everyone who wanted to come round the first two weeks when OH was off.
That way nobody outstayed their welcome & he got to share in showing off our son to everyone

That way when he went back to work he wasn't faced with visitors when he came home & wanted quiet time with me & our son & I was able to just get on being a mum & found people contacted me to make arrangements to come or meet up in town.

jetplane

Person_one wrote: »

Just don't do this:

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/5804704406/click-to-enlarge-the-big-day-while-i

Erm.. I must be a bit authoritarian because I think this is great advice although you may need to water it down a bit :rotfl:

ciderwithrosie_2

I was glad of visitors when the OH went back to work. My parents in law saved my sanity when DS1 was born, they used to come and pick me up a couple of evenings a week.

MrsBryan_2

I'm due our first baby in 9 weeks (eek!) and will be just going with the flow re visitors. I know my parents, OH mum, stepdad and sister plus my 2 best friends will definitely be visiting us at the hospital, even if its for 10minutes, just to see baby and us. And thats fine with us!

After, when we're home we will be having an open invite for the first week. We have lots of close family and friends who will be dying to meet baby, and I know that feeling from when my friends have had their babies! They are all very understanding though and I know they won't be a pain and will keep their visits to a minimum. We both have said that anyone is welcome for the first week so people know they can visit without worrying about disturbing us.

Obviously, things can change with the way the birth goes etc so will play it by ear. But I do agree with everyone else on this: if you don't want people round for the first so many days/weeks, you must let them know as they will feel awful if they come to see you and get turned away or feel guilty if you are completely knackered!

onlyroz

When my daughter was born we had my parents down to look after our son. Except it seemed that they were never going to leave. We ended up having them here for a week camping out on the sofa and in the spare room. Not good when you're trying to establish breast feeding and combat exhaustion. In the end I told them to sod off back home.

Sambucus_Nigra

Ha! I left my chum with her and her family for the first few weeks as she was the same [only really wanting family and people who could nip in and out] and after 6 weeks went to see her [after her parents had gone home] - she shoved the baby into my arms [no anti bac or hand washing needed] - burst into tears and cried for 3 hours.

Seems she was a little afraid of being honest with how stressful it was with all the family and her closer [in miles] friends and she knows she can be honest with me and so it all came out. Yes, I am as blunt and honest in real life as on here...

So, don't alienate everyone as you might just need a dose of reality to work out what to do next.

Luckily, being the practical type, she took my advice and she chilled, baby was more settled and she started to get some sleep at night poor lass.

CH27

MrsBryan wrote: »

I'm due our first baby in 9 weeks (eek!) and will be just going with the flow re visitors. I know my parents, OH mum, stepdad and sister plus my 2 best friends will definitely be visiting us at the hospital, even if its for 10minutes, just to see baby and us. And thats fine with us!

After, when we're home we will be having an open invite for the first week. We have lots of close family and friends who will be dying to meet baby, and I know that feeling from when my friends have had their babies! They are all very understanding though and I know they won't be a pain and will keep their visits to a minimum. We both have said that anyone is welcome for the first week so people know they can visit without worrying about disturbing us.

Obviously, things can change with the way the birth goes etc so will play it by ear. But I do agree with everyone else on this: if you don't want people round for the first so many days/weeks, you must let them know as they will feel awful if they come to see you and get turned away or feel guilty if you are completely knackered!

Good luck