New baby - any good tips on managing visitors?

CH27

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Ha! I left my chum with her and her family for the first few weeks as she was the same [only really wanting family and people who could nip in and out] and after 6 weeks went to see her [after her parents had gone home] - she shoved the baby into my arms [no anti bac or hand washing needed] - burst into tears and cried for 3 hours.

Seems she was a little afraid of being honest with how stressful it was with all the family and her closer [in miles] friends and she knows she can be honest with me and so it all came out. Yes, I am as blunt and honest in real life as on here...

So, don't alienate everyone as you might just need a dose of reality to work out what to do next.

Luckily, being the practical type, she took my advice and she chilled, baby was more settled and she started to get some sleep at night poor lass.

Excellent advice.

xxlouisexx56

Our second baby has recently turnt 1.

We decided we would have no visitors for 3 days. Apart from my best friend who is a piece of the furniture here, makes us all cups of tea does the washing up bought biscuits round and most importantly helped with elder dd who is autistic.

After that everyone had to come at an arranged time as I wanted afternoon naps and time with my family. It worked well and everyone accepted our requests

pimento

Person_one wrote: »

Just don't do this:

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/5804704406/click-to-enlarge-the-big-day-while-i

I'm with this guy (comment No.1)

"Oh please please let me come over at the appointed time and do household chores and clean up your slovenly mess just so I can get the unique chance and gracious opportunity to behold your swarthy little baby. "

I don't like other people's babies, so none of this really applies to me and I certainly wouldn't be interested in cooing over a baby if it's been made clear that I'm not welcome.

GobbledyGook

The best advice anyone ever gave me is to see how you feel at the time. With my first I thought I'd want it to be just the 3 of us for family bonding time whereas I just wanted to show my baby girl off to the world. However with my second (partly because of the tough birth) I retreated into myself. I just wanted our wee family of 4 to be ourselves for a while. Both times people respected what I wanted. Just make clear you expect people to ring before they come around and don't feel obliged to welcome them round unless you feel up to it.

Another good tip was to put tea bags, coffee, sugar, biscuits and mugs out on the worktop next to the kettle and let people fend for themselves.

osian

With some relatives, I took my baby daughter to visit them when she was about 6 days old. It worked out well as it got us out of the house and you are in control of the visit and you can leave when you want to.

Guess it may not work with your close family (and in that case I would just be honest and state how you feel at the time) but for those that live that little bit further it may be something to think about.

Taadaa

I have started to think about this even though I am not quite 15 weeks yet, as I know that DH is going to have problems standing up to his mother. No doubt she will turn up at the hospital when I go into labour if she doesn't have some ground rules. I guess I will have to be the one to do it.

I hate the whole pass the baby parcel around as well. I will have to tell DH that I don't want any surprise labour visitors and I want a few days at home with just the four of us to get settled into routine and for the LO to get used to our smells. If he doesn't like it he can bog off as well :rotfl:

mildred1978

Taadaa wrote: »

I have started to think about this even though I am not quite 15 weeks yet, as I know that DH is going to have problems standing up to his mother. No doubt she will turn up at the hospital when I go into labour if she doesn't have some ground rules. I guess I will have to be the one to do it.

I hate the whole pass the baby parcel around as well. I will have to tell DH that I don't want any surprise labour visitors and I want a few days at home with just the four of us to get settled into routine and for the LO to get used to our smells. If he doesn't like it he can bog off as well :rotfl:

Just don't tell anyone you're in labour then!

gibson123

Wait until the baby is born, see how you feel and then get your OH to make sure everyone respects your wishes. I am by no mean sexist but you have done the hard "labour" his job is to protect you and the baby in the first few weeks and make sure you are not exhausted, not lonely and get to do what you want to do. As others have said don't decide before baby is born, it's pointless to do so. Some days you'll wake up full of energy and want to socialise with your baby, other times you will be exhausted and want to stay in your PJ's. One of my greatest pleasures was seeing my mother and his mother holding my baby girl and I loved that my sisters fussed over me and did all those little jobs that I would have taken my time away from my baby, things like changing beds, cleaning bathrooms etc. But let your OH be the door-keeper. Also it is bad manners not to wash your hands before holding a baby and you should wait to be asked if you want to hold him/her.

Taadaa

mildred1978 wrote: »

Just don't tell anyone you're in labour then!

We have a child already in situ that will need supervising, so someone needs to be informed.

I agree to an extent re not deciding now but that only works if your relatives live within a reasonable distance. If they have travelled the length and breadth of the country in the hope of seeing the golden child it's much harder to say no.

mildred1978

Taadaa wrote: »

We have a child already in situ that will need supervising, so someone needs to be informed.

I agree to an extent re not deciding now but that only works if your relatives live within a reasonable distance. If they have travelled the length and breadth of the country in the hope of seeing the golden child it's much harder to say no.

Ours are all over the country (min 4 hour drive). Some had planned to come 2.5 weeks after the due date, which would have been fine had junior arrived on time (he was 2 weeks late and had to be forced out!).