New baby - any good tips on managing visitors?

caevans

I used to always escape to the bedroom to b/feed baby - sometimes i even fed her! Alot of the time though I just used it as time to be alone with baby and get peace away from visitors, especially husbands family :-)
Even if not b/feeding am sure you can use it as an excuse or say you need a wee lie down :-)

marywooyeah

Hmm its a tough one but people seem excited to see the baby but don't seem to consider the parents much if I were you I'd be honest and say you understand that they want to see the baby but please don't turn up unannounced and you'd appreciate some time in the early days alone with baby. It might seem blunt but it is better that they respect your wishes than you keeping quiet and feeling like those first special days were spoilt by biting your lip and making cups of tea! Best wishes for the birth x

Person_one

Just don't do this:

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/5804704406/click-to-enlarge-the-big-day-while-i

ikkle87

Don't get dressed. If your in your pjs and not made up people are more likely to take the hint your tired busy worn out. Look well dressed and made up and they will think your super woman and expect cups of tea etc.

Gillyx

Person_one wrote: »

Just don't do this:

http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/5804704406/click-to-enlarge-the-big-day-while-i

:rotfl: Some of that is so true though!

SqueekyMouse

Just tell people up front what you want. Your baby, your rules. The first few days and weeks with your little baby are so precious and they go by in a sleep deprived/hormone crazy haze. Make the most of them. Spend as much time as you can just looking at your baby and imprint on your brain the memories of what it feels like to hold something so small and the funny little noises they makes when they're feeding... Because nine months down the line, I can *just* about remember. The last thing you should worry about is everyone else! Your own little family of 3 is the most important and while everyone else will want to meet your LO and you will be excited to show him/her off, there's all the time in the world for that.

We told people weeks before I gave birth that once we were home with our new baby we wouldn't answer the door to anyone that hadn't been invited by prior phone call/email/text. That included my Mum and the MIL! We also asked MIL to visit by herself (she has 6 other children and the youngest was 4 at the time!) for the first couple of weeks since we just wanted a calm and stress free environment.

I also imposed a wash your hands before you touch the baby rule and a don't come over if you're poorly rule for ages.

And nobody was allowed to disturb her if she was sleeping!!!

Amymo

Ah thanks guys, I knew this was the place to come to for advice! person_one that cheered me right up! Thankfully though I'm a little shyer my DH has no problems about being a little blunter so he may have to take on some of the gatekeeping as he'd definately be better at it!

A friend recommended subtly (!) leaving one of those antibac handwash things on the table, actually her midwife recommended it, and she said it made it less awkward than insisting people wash their hands, I just have a thing about new babies being passed around like pass the parcel, seems unfair on them, although LO would probably be oblivious I guess

faerie~spangles

I also breastfed and changed my babies in the living room in front of guests. We're talking back in the 80's I had a coal fire and only the livingroom and kitchen downstairs.

If they felt uncomfortable that was not my problem.

Start as you mean to go on, that includes laying down the law re' sweets, juice,(when baby is older) visitors smoking, lifting when sleeping ...

mildred1978

Amymo wrote: »

Ah thanks guys, I knew this was the place to come to for advice! person_one that cheered me right up! Thankfully though I'm a little shyer my DH has no problems about being a little blunter so he may have to take on some of the gatekeeping as he'd definately be better at it!

A friend recommended subtly (!) leaving one of those antibac handwash things on the table, actually her midwife recommended it, and she said it made it less awkward than insisting people wash their hands, I just have a thing about new babies being passed around like pass the parcel, seems unfair on them, although LO would probably be oblivious I guess

Being passed around is exhausting for new babies and can interfere with getting feeding established (if they're too knackered to feed). I know of babies that have had to go back into hospital because of it.

My family were very good about only coming when invited and for short periods. My husband's family refused to come unless we put them up, which still upsets me 2 years on. There were lots of tears about that one. I didn't have a straightforward labour and there was no way I could have looked after another 6 or 8 adults. I should never have been expected to.

Didn't demand hand washing or antibacterial gel either. That seems a bit OTT for me (unless baby is premature or whatever.

ClareEmily

I remember worrying about the exact same thing, makes me laugh now my little boy is 19 months old and the excited visitors have definitely lost their excitement and some have disappeared altogether.

Let the grandparents and siblings visit you in hospital to meet baby (only if you are up to it) there will be set visiting times and so they won't be able to stay long.

Tell them then that you will call them when you are up to visitors at home. Try to give yourselves 2 weeks, the baby will still be a newborn but you will be happier breastfeeding etc.

I used to go up stairs to breastfeed in the early days and it was every 3 hours.

My mum was an ideal visitor she held baby while I got a shower, bought round meals, tidied my house and was a wonder. Some people I didn't want cleaning my house, just felt weird.

Looking back though I was so sleep deprived that I don't remember who visited, how long they stayed etc.

After a few days you will want to sleep so badly, that the moses basket will be next to the sofa, you will be curled up in sleeping bag, curtains will be drawn, phone off the hook, mobile switched off and big notice on the door.

Also you will want to show baby off to people too, funny old time, not one I want to repeat any time soon though.

Congrats btw, hope all goes well xx