What to think.....

Grumpygit

January 20 - I would be confused as well.

It's not that he's playing a power game he is just a simple bloke (yet complicated - a contradiction I know) whereby he will feel neglected and want some excitement and will probably end up texting his ex again for that "thrill"

I hope I am wrong in this but that is what I feel may happen.

This is what he did before when we have had a dry patch whereby we didn't really have any over a period of months because of the pill I was on and my libido dropped through the floor - I am not on it now and haven't been for a couple of years

The past few days haven't been an issue in respect of sex as it's erm...been that time so it's not as if I have been lying next to him wanting it

I know that I need to talk to him again about it - probably tonight when dd is in bed and then see what else comes out.

He knows that I am hurting as it's been quite obvious (although he will possibly have thought it was PMT)

He's a git (and other names), I hate him yet I love him

It's not easy to walk away as there are other complications involving housing (my parents live in our wing) so I am trapped in a manner of speaking (although if it was serious enough I wouldn't hesitate to finish it)

Eden1

OP, did you the chat with your partner? How did it go?

Grumpygit

Hi Eden

No, never did have that chat with him - I just couldn't be bothered in the end.

We were away this weekend, but prior to that, he was getting very cuddly in bed but I didn't make any moves and neither did he although he had ample opportunity (ie his arm across my front).

However, this weekend....he made his moves and it has been fine, although he is now ill in bed coming down with "man flu" so things will be a bit slow again.

I know that in theory it shouldn't matter who makes the first move, but after a while of it being one sided.....it does matter which is why I am just taking a more submissive approach to it.

purple.sarah

You could look into couples counselling through an organisation like Relate. It really sounds like this is a communication problem, with you not telling him about the debt in the past and him saying hurtful things about your weight. It doesn't seem like it's about the weight, it sounds like he's put on more than you! Maybe suggest going to the gym or jogging together but you need to work out the emotional issues first.

Grumpygit

Relate are rubbish where we are - huge waiting list to be seen - heaven help those who really do need it because they are on the verge of breaking up - you'd be divorced before your appointment came up!

Thanks for the thoughts though