16 year old - Eating Issue

pinkclouds

Personally, I think at this stage it is all "mountain out of molehill" stuff. I loathe animal fat - sausages are particularly nauseating. Most meat tastes yuck to me but the thought of the rivulets of fat in particular cuts is beyond the pale. Nor do I eat the regulation 3-meals-a-day because I cannot enjoy consuming a vast quantity of food in one go. I prefer "grazing" throughout the day, whenever I actually feel hungry. I am twice this girl's age, have two kids (both breastfed, I might add - which would have been difficult to do if I were undernourished) and am quite healthy. I appreciate that eating disorders are a real illness and that it is possible to lose too much weight but is it 7 lbs off a skinny size 6 or 7 lbs off an average size 8-10? Is her weight suitable for her height? If you're about 7 stone (or whatever) then a foot's difference in height makes a huge difference as to whether you're underweight. I would suggest that a better strategy is to remember she is a teenage girl, insist on a daily multivitamin until her diet improves and to allow her to snack freely between mealtimes. If she's willing to eat vegetables, then that can only be a good thing. Most of my contemporaries survived on junk food at that age.

DVardysShadow

pinkclouds wrote: »

I appreciate that eating disorders are a real illness and that it is possible to lose too much weight but is it 7 lbs off a skinny size 6 or 7 lbs off an average size 8-10? Is her weight suitable for her height? If you're about 7 stone (or whatever) then a foot's difference in height makes a huge difference as to whether you're underweight.

Body Mass Index = 18.96. So she is not carrying too much extra around, but she is fine. Probably needs to hear that she looks good coming from the right person.

anniemf2508

Having suffered from eating disorders for the last 20 years, you need to not make a big deal out of this. The not eating meat shouldn't be pushed as that is her decision. Make sure there are nutritious snacks available and if she doesn't eat a full meal don't make an issue out of it as it could well make things worse.
There are some really good multivitamins out there so try and compromise with her and encourage her to take one of those a day to supplement her diet.
As others have said, all this may well be because shes stressed over exams and its her only form of control. But if you push it with her, it could well be of a detrimental effect to her future mental state.

Idiophreak

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Body Mass Index = 18.96. So she is not carrying too much extra around, but she is fine.

Fine, but bordering on underweight. Obviously it depends on how large her frame is, how muscular etc more than just the BMI, but I think it's fair to assume she's on the slight side - and if she loses another 7lbs, she could start to suffer the effects.

Humphrey10

stebiz wrote: »

I don't think I'm a control freak

You forced someone to eat meat. That's abusive. There is no other word for it.

jellyhead

Get the GP to check if she is anaemic. If at 16 she won't want you to go in to the GP with her, you could make an appointment first and talk to the GP yourself just to say that she seems to have lost her appetite, and with giving up meat but not replacing it with much you are worried about anaemia.

I had to see a doctor about anaemia after becoming a vegetarian at age 14 and I needed to take iron tablets.

Dried apricots are a good source.

If your wife hasn't got time to cook veggie meals then a 16 year old is perfectly able to cook for themselves.

She may want vegetarian cheese, and not want things that are cooked in animal fat, and no gravy on her veg.

You could have lentils and mushrooms in a family Bolognese, instead of meat.

Most importantly I think you should apologise to her for the way you behaved at Easter. I understand that you did it out of desperation and frustration, but it was the wrong thing to do.

stebiz wrote: »

I don't think the laptop was removed because she 'never ate meat'. She said that she wanted to do without meat for lent - not for good. She lost weight during this period, because to be honest, she isn't a big fan of veg either.

So the day after lent, she chose to say, that she wasn't going to eat her roast dinner - except a few potatoes. I thought she was being silly, and advised her that if she wanted to act like a kid, I'd treat her like one.

If you wants to be a vegetarian, I have no real issues. Not sure my wife will !!!!! foot around meals though. It is hectic enough in this house, as it is running after 3 kids. However if she wanted to help prepare meals that would make things different.

I've listened a lot on here. I am going to arrange a few (discreet) vegetarian meals over the next couple of weeks. I won't try and bring up the food issue, whilst she gets through her exams, and will get some vitamins in her, some way or another;) I'll also make sure she has plenty of types of fruit all cut up and ready for her to snack on.

Then in a couple of months once the exams are over, I'll see how things are, and then maybe have a word with a doctor or nurse.

Wirenth

Out of curiosity, how do you cook for a vegetarian that, as stebiz puts it, "isn't a fan of veg"?

Emmzi

Wirenth wrote: »

Out of curiosity, how do you cook for a vegetarian that, as stebiz puts it, "isn't a fan of veg"?

you replace the meat in everything they used to eat with quorn.

Seanymph

Wirenth wrote: »

Out of curiosity, how do you cook for a vegetarian that, as stebiz puts it, "isn't a fan of veg"?

Given that most vegetarians eat everything except meat, they can eat all the things you eat that 'aren't veg' except for meat.

I suspect that's quite a list.

But even non veg fans can eat omelette, or quiche, or pizza, or bolognese, or curry from something like chickpeas - you could even get away with egg and chips or quorn nuggets and jacket potatoes.

There is an awful lot of food that isn't either 'veg' or 'meat'. But generally even non veg eaters will eat veg prepared in different ways - I have three teens who hate beetroot, but if it's roasted in with garlic and rosemary (HFW's recipe) they all eat it. They wouldn't eat onions along - but they eat onion bahjee's which are really easy to cook.

So a lot is in the preparation.

I wouldn't though expect her to cook for herself, because it would be easy not to.

I think the OP should embrace the vegetarianism (or appear go at least!) be curious, talk to her, encourage her, and ask her to cook with him - or her mum can - to engage with her in a positive way, and work with her to ensure that she is part of th process of providing meals for the family and including her in it.

I too though think that this young lady needs deal more respect to be shown to her, and her choices - it's hard the letting go, but too much hanging tightly can cause issues for the young people if they consider themselves stifled and controlled.

jellyhead

Wirenth wrote: »

Out of curiosity, how do you cook for a vegetarian that, as stebiz puts it, "isn't a fan of veg"?

When I first became veggie and Mum and I didn't know much about it we started of by buying things like veggie sausages and veggie burgers. You could buy pies that were like meat pies but the 'meat' was made of mushroom and the 'gravy' was vegetarian. I used to love packet mixes of things like bolognese or chilli which were made with soya chunks.

Meat in dishes can be replaced with tofu, chickpeas, lentils, mushrooms, peppers etc.

If she is not a fan of veg then presumably she made up her vitamins and minerals in others way, even before she became veggie? Finely chopped or pureed veg can be added to sauces, pizza, etc. and perhaps she eats fruit.

I absolutely love veggie fingers. They are like fish fingers but are filled with tiny bits of veg, mostly sweetcorn I think.