Homelessness at 34 weeks pregnant?

thatlemming

I'm 21 and they really drill into you at school about contraception these days. There is a big big emphasis on it, so that really isn't an excuse.

Amanda65

ognum wrote: »

Stop condemning and start helping. Give a little it will make you happier and healthier.

I know that some people making assumptions and judging the OP Ognum (partly due to 'silly' things she has said and partly due to her wanting help but being vague, when questioned, about various things) but many others , myself included, have tried to give advice both 14 weeks ago and on this thread and OP doesn't appear to have taken it on board sadly.

She hasn't been on here for a little while though so let's hope she's working through some of her problems and will come back with some postive steps she has managed to take.

FatVonD

Gillyx wrote: »

Those preaching about how contraception has always worked for them are lucky, if a contraceptive is 99.9% effective, there will always be that 0.01% who are unlucky.

If one were to believe every !!!!less teenager that said 'the condom split' one could be forgiven for thinking the failure rate was more like 99% though.

Gillyx wrote: »

Thankfully I'm glad it didn't work

Gillyx

FatVonD wrote: »

If one were to believe every !!!!less teenager that said 'the condom split' one could be forgiven for thinking the failure rate was more like 99% though.

Well true, but it really was the truth in my case! Not that it matters now

euronorris

In your school, but I doubt all schools are the same. That's like saying that the standard of maths teaching in every school is brilliant, or every teacher is brilliant. It just isn't true. If anyone has any links that confirm the assumption that sex ed is taught well in every school, I will stand corrected.

But also, don't forget that a number of children are excluded from the lessons at the request of their parents. It isn't compulsory. I am certainly not suggesting that is the case with the op, as there is nothing to suggest that, but do bear in mind that not all children are receiving sex ed in school (I can only hope the parents are adequately educating them about it at home).

meg72

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

It's not 'commendable' that he has a job - it is a fact of life.



Why does someone with a spare bedroom have anything to explain? Not everyone with a spare bedroom lives in a council house you know.



What is wrong with suggesting that someone has a stable enough life to provide for a baby?

No, I'm not suggesing you need to have a mortgage and savings before giving birth BUT I am suggesting that you should be able to provide adequate shelter and a means to provide a healthy environment for a child BEFORE you decide to procreate.

Why is that suggestion so radical? When did it become so acceptable to just get pregnant and then say "oh gosh, can someone step in because I don't seem to have anywhere to live or any money to pay for the baby"?



Your post sums up why the welfare state is in such a shocking state. Let's just allow anyone to do anything they want to, no need to plan, no need to provide for yourself, the state will pick up the bill.

I absolutely believe that the state should be there to provide for those that can't (through no fault of their own) take care of themselves in cases such as illness, unemployment, family breakdown or old age. However, the reckless and those with an 'entitlement' attitude should not be indulged as they really are bleeding the system dry.

In an ideal world I would agree with you 100%, but an accidental pregnancy does happen.

66 years ago my Dear Mum got pregnant with me, unmarried,
Wartime, 21 years old. In those times there was the stigma, no help, great religious pressure, Catholic family, if my Dear Nan had not been such a great Mum and human being I dont know where Mum or I would be, I think some compassion and humanity is needed here. The OP is only just out of childhood,
Ok she hasnt expressed herself very well, but she and her equally only just out of childhood partner do seem to have made an effort to try and help themselves and provide for a new baby.

We surely dont want to return to those old days where unmarried Mums were sent to the workhouse or even worse the lunatic Asylums Do We?

FatVonD

meg72 wrote: »

66 years ago my Dear Mum got pregnant with me, unmarried,
Wartime, 21 years old.

In those days though girls believed they couldn't get pregnant if they had sex standing up, sex education has moved on a long way since then plus we also have a greater choice of (free) contraception.

Tiddlywinks

meg72 wrote: »

We surely dont want to return to those old days where unmarried Mums were sent to the workhouse or even worse the lunatic Asylums Do We?

Why not? If the couple (or single mum) can't provide for the child then I say the maximum they should be given is a room in a hostel and food vouchers.

Why should they be given resources whereas couples that make sensible and responsible choices are left to struggle and save?

Getting pregnant is still a life choice - and there should be consequences for poor choices in life not the reward of cheap accommodation without working for it.

koalamummy

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Why not? If the couple (or single mum) can't provide for the child then I say the maximum they should be given is a room in a hostel and food vouchers.

Why should they be given resources whereas couples that make sensible and responsible choices are left to struggle and save?

Getting pregnant is still a life choice - and there should be consequences for poor choices in life not the reward of cheap accommodation without working for it.

Just out of curiosity I am wondering how many people feel that the same stringent conditions be applied to couples who have jobs/mortgage and so on but are reliant on tax credits to actually provide for this child, whether for feeding them or paying for childcare? If so what then do you do with a family already dependent on tax credits who decide to have another child anyway?

Where then exactly is the line drawn when redefining the undeserving poor?

ognum

Amanda65 wrote: »

I know that some people making assumptions and judging the OP Ognum (partly due to 'silly' things she has said and partly due to her wanting help but being vague, when questioned, about various things) but many others , myself included, have tried to give advice both 14 weeks ago and on this thread and OP doesn't appear to have taken it on board sadly.

She hasn't been on here for a little while though so let's hope she's working through some of her problems and will come back with some postive steps she has managed to take.

I know that you and many others replied to the last thread and you feel that she hasn't listened but that is how people work, particularly young people who do not have guidance. well done to you for trying to help her on her way.

Young people often need frequent gentle pushing and a few replies that She may not have liked will not have moved her on.

This is an 18year old who desperately needs an older person to guide and support her, so sad she hasn't got it in her life.

When threads go ballistic like this one the OP often slink away not wanting any more vilification. I would guess she is probably reading the thread but has decided not to answer again for fear of more hurtful replies!