Private education for lower/middle income families.

fabforty

Are there any lower or middle income families here, who have chosen to educate their children privately and if so, have their children faced particular difficulties fitting in?

Before anyone asks, no this is not a wind-up.

I am asking on a behalf of a friend and colleague, who is also single mother to two boys. She has a good income - 62k - and receives 10k p.a. in child maintenance. Living in a part of London where the schools are not great, and competition for the good schools is fierce, her eldest son is due to start secondary school in two year and she is seriously considering going private. It will be a struggle, but she thinks she can just about manage financially. Her worry is that not coming from a working class, afro-caribbean background, her son(s) may find it hard to fit in. I know that a lot depends on the school in question and it will be harder in some schools than others - just wondered if anyone has any experience of this, escpecially as it seems that an increasing number of 'ordinary' families are paying for their children's education?

VfM4meplse

If her sons are bright, in your friend's position I would have a total re-think.

Instead of paying for a private school eductaion, I think it makes much better financial sense to move out to the shires within a grammer school catchment. Not only will she get more for her money, but the cost of the commute and securing childcare arrangements until they are teenagers will be far lower than private school fees for 2 boys.

fabforty wrote: »

Her worry is that not coming from a working class, afro-caribbean background, her son(s) may find it hard to fit in.

My next comment is not racist, but the naked truth. Does your friend really want her sons to learn in an environment of statistical under-achievers and speak with a patois? If I ever have children I'm running back to deepest darkest Essex before you can say "innit".

faerie~spangles

It is not just the fees she has to consider there are all the other extra curricular expenses too.

Noctu

I went to a private school as my local comprehensive was terrible and I managed to get on the old assisted place scheme (scrapped in 1997 with the new Labour government).

I'm not really sure what 'class' my family would fall into but to illustrate, my Mum is a single parent, earned slightly over the average wage working full time in local government, and had some professional qualifications.

As you say a lot of it depends on the school, however I was bullied due to my background and the fact that I wasn't part of the wealthier, well known families in the town. I was thoroughly miserable there.

Obviously this is just my own experience but thought I'd throw it in there.

gibson123

I thought very seriously about this last year for my daughter who was finding it difficult to fit in to our local high school. It would have meant serious sacrifices. However instead she got moved to another school (RC High School) even though we are not religious and found it very easy to fit in and is thriving. During my research I spoke to a lot of young people who attend private schools, and the issues are very similar even at private school. As race has been raised, it is not really a race issue either as private schools tend to have a huge mixture of cultures and in many non-white cultures private education is highly valued, so many of the lower/middle income pupils are actually from non-white families that are doing exactly what your friend wants to do. The difference being that these children's parents also do not want them saying "innit"

bunty109

Hss she thought about state boarding schools? Education is free, but the cost of boarding has to be paid for, but that's much less than a private school education. There are a few in the south east, usually outstanding schools with a private school feel/ethos.
http://www.sbsa.org.uk/find_school.php#south_east

Day boarding can be a good option if offered and is affordable on the income you've mentioned as I know people who afford it on such an income.

freda

Gosh, since when has an annual income of £72k px been lower/middle earner? (Although I appreciate London is more expensive).

My advice would be to visit all the schools that may be an option for her son. Ask for a tour, where she can view teaching and classes, write a list of specific questions for the head (i.e what is your view on bullying, how does the school tackle it. Similar questions for high achieving pupils etc). Ask this at ALL the schools, not just the state ones.

As a previous poster said, also consider moving to the catchment area of a good state school, but of course visit it first.

Another alternative is to save the money for some private tuition - 1:1 help in specific subjects can make all the difference.

kj*daisy

There are many different types of private schools just as there are state schools. If it were me I'd move to a better catchment rather than commit to potentially 2 lots of private school fees which even with a good income would be very costly, particularly as maintenance can stop unexpectedly. Go and see the potential schools and choose the one that most fits her kids, ie. the school that provides most for children from lower/ middle income families rather than those populated with the offspring of the upper classes/very wealthy. However I would also advise she actually goes and looks at the state schools as she may find one that would be OK for her son, and if she really doesn't like them then at least she knows.

Gloomendoom

freda wrote: »

Gosh, since when has an annual income of £72k px been lower/middle earner? (Although I appreciate London is more expensive).

Ha ha! I thought the same. I suppose it depends on what you are used to.

I was just about to respond saying that my parents sent me to a private school because the local comprehensive had a terrible reputation. However, my parents were from working class backgrounds and really were low to middle income. We lived in a small terraced house rented from my dad's employer. My mother was a housewife as was the norm then.

Despite my parents' lack of money and lack of "class", I had no problem fitting in at school. I loved it.
.
.
.

zcrat41

Some people may disagree with what I'm about to say but I do think there is a social advantage to private education. I'm in my 30's and the network of friends between myself and my sister has helped both our careers and our friends by the kind of people we know.

I'd personally move heaven and earth to get my kids into private school (or a very good state school) but then I also would never live in London!

As another poster has pointed out don't understimate the costs of extras - I had a club or society nearly every night after school, much of which was extra.

Dunroamin

Is there any possibility that the children's father would contribute towards the fees?