Private education for lower/middle income families.

Gloomendoom

fabforty wrote: »

Not racist but ignorant.

People who say 'innit' are not speaking patois. It's a completely different thing.

Secondly, having watched a few episodes of TOWIE, you can keep deepest darkest Essex. I'm sure that not everyone from Essex says 'shattup', 'oh my god','well jel' and the rest and likewise we don't all say 'innit' or whatever other stereotypes you wish to dredge up.

Overall though, I believe she does have a point.

onlyroz

I'd suggest either moving out of London to the commuter belt (there are plenty of towns within a 30 min train journey of central London) or sticking it out with the local state schools and paying for extra private tuition if they don't think the school is providing the best education.

Wickedkitten

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Overall though, I believe she does have a point.

Anecdotal for sure, but most of the people that I know that try to speak with any kind of patois are middle class and white.

duchy

<sigh> It was a general "you" not an aimed at you personally

Unless your "friend" is planning on sending her child to Eton etc then it makes far more sense NOT to try and distort the figures by adding those into the equasion (although having lived close to "Slough Grammer" as it's locally known not all kids there come from wealthy families either-most of the top private school have scholarships and bursaries too).

Whether I have discussed finances with friends who also happened to be the parents of fellow pupils -well what do you think? Do YOU know which of your friends are comfortable and which ones struggle to pay school fees -work overtime, forego foreign holidays, drive an old banger etc. Which ones moan money is tight and which ones buy new outfits every week from expensive stores. No-one said ALL parents struggle-or trim the budget in other areas to afford fees -but a sizeable proportion DO ! I'm not sure why you are struggling with that concept.

It's really no different to state schools-some kids have parents who can afford smart holidays, nice cars , gadgets for the kids-and some can't. It's not something peculiar to only private education.
#

fabforty wrote: »

I posted on behalf of a friend, so not sure which of us you are referring to but eitherway, we are not making assumptions at all.
We know that there are a lot of not particularly wealthy parents who make sacrifices to send their children to private school - hence the reason for starting this thread in the first place. However, I suspect that if you took a straw poll of all of the children across the country who go to private school (especially when you include the top, most expensive private schools in the country - Eton, Cheltenham College etc), the majority will come from wealthy families.
Also, while I appreciate the point that you are making, I would be very surprised if you were privy to the financial arrangements of the 'majority' of your sons school friends.

pinkclouds

fabforty wrote: »

However, I suspect that if you took a straw poll of all of the children across the country who go to private school (especially when you include the top, most expensive private schools in the country - Eton, Cheltenham College etc), the majority will come from wealthy families.

I am happy to concede the point that most parents who send their kids to private schools are quite wealthy. I am not privy to exact financial details but I can tell that most parents at my daughter's school are far wealthier than we are. Circumstantial evidence is easy to come by - age, profession, car, house size (or, sometimes, tbh, estate in the sense of "land"), nannies, etc.

However, you must realise that "nice" kids do not make a big deal out of these differences. From the parents' point of view, perhaps it is a trifle strange to attend a party or playdate in something you previously associated with the scale of a National Trust property but the kids really don't care. The only constraint is that you cannot always reciprocate if you don't have sufficient space at your own home to entertain more than one or two extra kids. I'm never going to host an "at home" party because my house is smaller than some parents' halls! But there's nothing wrong with hosting a party at a softplay centre. Even folk with massive properties often opt for softplay parties or village halls because (a) no mess at home and (b) the kids really like that sort of thing!

Money really does make life more comfortable. But kids are the same, regardless of parental income - they just want love, good company and fun. Daddy earning a mega salary does not preclude kids from wanting to eat at McDonalds or craving the latest plastic "pocket-money" tat.

Gloomendoom

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Anecdotal for sure, but most of the people that I know that try to speak with any kind of patois are middle class and white.

If you are hiding in the Cotswolds, I'm not surprised.

duchy

zagfles wrote: »

Like others have said you need to account for the extras such as school trips etc which can very expensive in private schools, plus all the required fashions which "all the other kids" will be wearing etc. I know some kids at private schools and their parents are being financially crippled, not by the fees but by all the extras. There is a lot of snobbery at private schools and anyone who can't afford the latest fashions, phones, gadgets etc will likely be bullied.

.

Not always-My son's school had a no uniform policy -they could wear anything they liked within reason. They all went the jeans/t-shirt/sweatshirt route. I was working in the state system at the time and there was honestly more competition , back biting and bullying about labels and gadgets and who had the latest phone etc in the state school on mufti days and normal days . The staff set the tone at the private school-and the ethos was "You're here to learn" The focus for dress was on comfort (far more than I expected it to be before he started there to be honest) and even the label on the jeans wasn't the issue you'd expect.

LEJC

I attended a private school back in the 70's and 80's and my parents were by no means rich....there were lots of sacrifices but having done it moth parents and I feel I got a better education than I could have at a state secondary school...

My son has also been educated privately...and next year starts his GCSE'S....again we are not affulent and earn well below the 62k quoted in the OP .....

Our son has a varied curriculum...will be undertaking work experience and also benefits from schemes such as D of E and CCF...which all take place at his school....Class sizes are around 24 in each group and they are of similar ability,which I believe has helped him greatly....he enjoys school,and there are a mixture of backgrounds.....for us private education has been very worthwhile and something I dont regret doing.

daisiegg

LEJC wrote: »

Our son has a varied curriculum...will be undertaking work experience and also benefits from schemes such as D of E and CCF...which all take place at his school....Class sizes are around 24 in each group and they are of similar ability,which I believe has helped him greatly....he enjoys school,and there are a mixture of backgrounds.....for us private education has been very worthwhile and something I dont regret doing.

See, I would expect class sizes at a private school to be more impressive than that...I teach English in a state school and the most I've got in a KS3 class is 27 (and most are around 25), but my biggest GCSE class is 21 and my other GCSE class is 18. There is one GCSE class that is only 16. I know this is probably not typical of most state schools though...

Oh, and DofE is also available at my school....free (well, apart from the small less than twenty pounds participation fee)...whereas future stepdaughter's school wanted five hundred pounds to do bronze DofE!

LEJC

daisiegg wrote: »

See, I would expect class sizes at a private school to be more impressive than that...I teach English in a state school and the most I've got in a KS3 class is 27 (and most are around 25), but my biggest GCSE class is 21 and my other GCSE class is 18. There is one GCSE class that is only 16. I know this is probably not typical of most state schools though...

Oh, and DofE is also available at my school....free (well, apart from the small less than twenty pounds participation fee)...whereas future stepdaughter's school wanted five hundred pounds to do bronze DofE!

You may not think the class sizes are impressive....but consistantly the school my son attends has far better results than the national average...

The results the school produces are exceptionally better than our LEA results so in our case local authority state schools were not really competative when looking at the achievable results...the area in which we live has poor results,which was major factor to consider when choosing schooling, even our best perfoming state school fell lots short of the independant one we eventually chose

We paid a registration fee of £14 for D of E and a one off payment for CCF of £30 to cover admin/equipment...any activity organised as part of either has costs but so far this year these have been kept to a minimum ...from memory I think its been in the region of £20 for a weekend camp ...so nowhere near the £500 your stepdaughters school quoted.