Private education for lower/middle income families.

duchy

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about who sends their kids privately. My son was educated privately from year 8 to GCSEs and the majority of parents were making serious sacrifices to afford fees. He's now twenty so my experiences are fairly recent.

mummyyum

My son goes to a private school (year 9) and for him i feel it is totally worth it. He is quiet and likes to study. He ended up there as he did not get into any of the three choices of comprehensive that I put down, even though all his friends from state primary got in. The school he was offered would have not suited him at all. We come from a very ordinary background, living in a tiny terraced house and have no holidays. However I still feel it is worth every penny. He has never come under pressure to have the latest fashion, phone or gadgets. In fact he just has a £10 pay as you go phone and has no desire to upgrade. He has never been bullied and I have never been under pressure to pay for any extra curricular activities. I would say if you can and it would suit your child then to go for it. (My oldest son who is 19 went to state comp so I have seen it from both sides)

chelle230

I had a state school primary education, but was fortunate enough to get an assisted place for my my independent secondary school.
My mum was a single parent on a very low income at the time.

Although I got a fantastic education with good gcse grades, I did get bullied by the other girls as I wasn't in the same social class, didn't have horses, go on skiing holidays, etc.
My mum could barely afford the uniform, and always made sacrifices to pay for bits needed, an I never went on the school holidays, day trips were saved up for.

I appreciate everything my mum did, but hated every minute of my secondary school life.

My 6 year old son is now going to an independent primary school, which we didn't think was possible, as they never offer scholarships or bursaries, but we found a school which is trying to gain free school status, so we pay a small contribution each month, there is a chance these fees will go up, but we can manage that fine. The uniform is expensive, but does seem to last him.
At primary school age, status doesn't matter to the other kids.

When it comes to secondary school, we're deciding what to do, I won't put my son through what I went through, but if he chooses he'd like to go then that's ok, and we'd try for the scholarship or bursary as we can't afford full fees, but would be fine with some assistance.

Kids can be cruel, intentional or not, and I'd always consider what could possibly happen, not saying that it definitely would, but when you have people wearing designer clothes, owning horses, going on safari and skiing holidays every year, and you can't, things will be said, and it can be hurtful.

do_it_today!

I'm watching this thread with interest

Savvy_Sue

There's not just state boarding schools, there are also schools like Christ's Hospital.

Pupils' fees are assessed according to family income, so that it is a child's ability and potential to benefit from a Christ's Hospital education that determine their selection. This results in a social and cultural diversity that enriches our school community and offers our pupils unique opportunities as we prepare them to take their place in the modern world.

cottonhead

I think as you said it really depends on the school. I have a friend who was privatley educated and although her parents were quite well off they were not at all, compared to the other parents and my friend felt like an outsider. She felt uncomfortable as a child that she didnt have a huge home with a pool ad go on fancy holidays like her friends. Then on the other hand I have another friend whose child was privately educated as she had needs that were dealt with better in the private system. They are as working class as you can be and never had an issue. So I think it depends on the school. Some are very selective in the types of pupils they take and some not so. Some parents seek out private schools so they can show off and its part of their image whilst others just because they have their needs met better.
I have been thinking about private school once my child reaches secondary school age. We have a grammar system here and so a lot would probably depend on how that pans out when the time comes. We have some excellent schools and some rubbish ones where I live so I can see why people would pay to get a good education. I want my child to have the best possible education whether that be state or private - I will decide when the time comes.
Having said that I have a family member who graduated from oxford and he went to a local comp! Then there are the privaetly educated kids who turn to drugs and do nothing with their lives so its not a certainty that the money is well spent !

fabforty

duchy wrote: »

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about who sends their kids privately. My son was educated privately from year 8 to GCSEs and the majority of parents were making serious sacrifices to afford fees. He's now twenty so my experiences are fairly recent.

I posted on behalf of a friend, so not sure which of us you are referring to but eitherway, we are not making assumptions at all.
We know that there are a lot of not particularly wealthy parents who make sacrifices to send their children to private school - hence the reason for starting this thread in the first place. However, I suspect that if you took a straw poll of all of the children across the country who go to private school (especially when you include the top, most expensive private schools in the country - Eton, Cheltenham College etc), the majority will come from wealthy families.
Also, while I appreciate the point that you are making, I would be very surprised if you were privy to the financial arrangements of the 'majority' of your sons school friends.

rahdesia

I went to private school for both primary and secondary. When it came to secondary school I begged my mother to let me board. My mother was a single parent who earned a fair amount, but couldn't realistically afford to send both of her daughters to boarding school. I therefore applied for a scholarship, and was lucky enough to get 80% off my school fees, which meant that I was able to attend the school that I wanted to go to. There are always ways around it - academic or other scholarships, bursaries (eg, my sister received 33% off her fees by attending the same school that I attended as she got a sibling bursary).

There were times when I struggled to fit in with those in my class that came from multi-millionaire families, had private jets, and multiple houses in London and in the country. Their parents could afford to kit them out with all the latest gadgets, trendy clothes, and everything else, all of which I had to go without, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. My school days at boarding school were still the happiest of my life, and I would do everything in my power to be able to afford the same for my children.

Person_one

VfM4meplse wrote: »

My next comment is not racist, but the naked truth.

You saying its not racist doesn't mean it isn't racist.

fabforty

VfM4meplse wrote: »

If her sons are bright, in your friend's position I would have a total re-think.

Instead of paying for a private school eductaion, I think it makes much better financial sense to move out to the shires within a grammer school catchment. Not only will she get more for her money, but the cost of the commute and securing childcare arrangements until they are teenagers will be far lower than private school fees for 2 boys.

My next comment is not racist, but the naked truth. Does your friend really want her sons to learn in an environment of statistical under-achievers and speak with a patois? If I ever have children I'm running back to deepest darkest Essex before you can say "innit".

Not racist but ignorant.

People who say 'innit' are not speaking patois. It's a completely different thing.

Secondly, having watched a few episodes of TOWIE, you can keep deepest darkest Essex. I'm sure that not everyone from Essex says 'shattup', 'oh my god','well jel' and the rest and likewise we don't all say 'innit' or whatever other stereotypes you wish to dredge up.