Private education for lower/middle income families.

bylromarha

I teach in a primary school and one of our teaching assistants sent her son to private school - her salary around £20k, husband was on about £25k.

They thought it was very worth it. No problems with son settling in at all - the school never treated him differently as he was poorer than most of his mates.

Her husband got made redundant when child was in year 9, they used the redundancy money to pay school fees while her OH got bit jobs here and there.

They never had a holiday (except a few nights in Weston Super Mare) they had to say no to some of the school optional extras. Uniform alone cost £400 a year.

Their son now in year 3 of uni, studying in Canada. Parents have just had their 1st trip on a plane to visit him over Easter. Parents still maintain it was easily worth the sacrifices as they feel their son would have got lost in a secondary, a bit bullied too as his personality is quiet and unassuming. The teaching assistant is naggin me to start saving for my 2 to go private in secondary! However, we have accessable grammar schools and looks like my 2 could academically achieve an entrance there.

pinkclouds

Personally, I think £72k is a good income. Assuming her boys are polite, considerate and hard-working then they should have no problems "fitting in" to a good school. Slackers, bad-mannered kids and hands-off parents are not welcome.

There may be some assistance from scholarship funds (i.e. academic or sporting merit, etc) or sibling discounts (although not all schools will discount for 2+ siblings - sometimes it's 3+ siblings).

fabforty

Thank you all for your replies so far, especially from those of you with personal experience of coming from a more 'ordinary' background and going into private education.

To answer a few points - in no particular order;

62k is a good income, but not when compared to the very high incomes and privileged lifestyles that are usually associated with children in private schools.

Her ex-husband could probably contribute to school fees (although he is dead set against the idea), however affordability isn't the issue.

She is looking at all options and is not against the idea of State education. She lives in the catchment area for a very good school but due to the number of applicants, has been told that her chance of getting in is slim to none.

Although I mentioned her race, that is not a huge issue for her. It's more about peer pressure.

Uniscots97

I think private education is a good idea. The school I went was awful and if my parents could have afforded private education they would have done it. As it was they managed to get together enough money (through 2nd jobs) to put me through open university whilst I was at school to do the subjects the school wouldn't offer (we're not talking anything specialist here just sciences! which I needed for uni). When you hear students from the main stream high schools talking on tv compared to those from private school there's a vast difference, main stream (vast majority) seem to have no ambition and think they should get paid lots of money for doing nothing (OH's kids are like this and its not how they were brought up yet they are cheeky and expect everything handed to them on plate). Private school, they are keen on education, establishing a career and have goals.

Tell her to go for it, background does not matter.

Cazza

I was educated at private and state schools as a child - the only time I was ever picked on was at the state school, because I'd been at a private school before. Apparently this meant I had to be posh and a snob?!?!

zagfles

Like others have said you need to account for the extras such as school trips etc which can very expensive in private schools, plus all the required fashions which "all the other kids" will be wearing etc. I know some kids at private schools and their parents are being financially crippled, not by the fees but by all the extras. There is a lot of snobbery at private schools and anyone who can't afford the latest fashions, phones, gadgets etc will likely be bullied.

Also bear in mind these days universities are often biased against private schools, as part of their funding comes with strings like being able to show they accept people "from all walks of life". Inevitably this leads to discrimination, whatever anyone says.

brook2jack

Our income is less than ops friend and both our children go to private school. As others have said there are different private schools as well as state.
Our childrens schools have some high income families but many are from families that make sacrifices to send children to those schools.

There is no pressure for expensive clothes/gadgets and apart from music/drama lessons all the extracurricular activities are at no extra cost. Both schools run second hand uniform shops/sales.

In common with the local comprehensives they do offer some horrendously expensive holidays to exotic places which neither of mine and many of their friends went on.

Both my children went to the local village primary and were apprehensive that they wouldn't fit in with the rich kids. But the reality is there is a mix of all incomes in their schools. They were a little reluctant to invite friends home until they realised that their classmates lived in a variety of houses/flats not just piles with swimming pools.

The children who wouldn't be happy or fit in are those for whom the academic pressures and pressures to succeed may be too stressful or those who find the discipline difficult to conform to.

Every child and school is different but personally I and my children feel the sacrifices we made to give them a good education and by that I mean not just passing exams but education in a wider sense, and for them to be individuals in small schools (local comps are 1200 pupils plus) has been worth it.

As an aside I won a scholarship to a private school and travelled to it from peckham a very disadvantaged area. I had no problems at school but got beaten up, spat on , sworn at regularly getting on the train by locals in Peckham. It made me strong and determined but people feel it is perfectly acceptable to display hostility/ predjudice if they feel you're "posh" in a way that it is not acceptable to react to any other group.

ThinkingOfLinking

I'm quiet and like to read and was bullied mercilessly in my mixed secondary school.

I got an assisted place and then competed to win an additional bursary at a private girls' school and it was definitely the best school for me. I couldn't afford to go on most school holidays though, ie the ski trips or to India and Russia, but did manage 3 trips in my 7 years, within Europe, so not all doom and gloom.

Cazza

brook2jack wrote: »

As an aside I won a scholarship to a private school and travelled to it from peckham a very disadvantaged area. I had no problems at school but got beaten up, spat on , sworn at regularly getting on the train by locals in Peckham. It made me strong and determined but people feel it is perfectly acceptable to display hostility/ predjudice if they feel you're "posh" in a way that it is not acceptable to react to any other group.

Yep, that was exactly the attitude I experienced :mad:

emsywoo123

£62K is not a huge wage to send a child to private school.

We were not well off, but my sister and I went privately, as does my daughter.

Background did not cause an issue for us.