managing dress expectations

wanchai_2

melancholly wrote: »

well quite!! but i'm not the person to ask because to me, they largely look the same and i can't see how some of those brides react like it's the end of the world because the dress has buttons up the back rather than being tied up. i honestly don't understand why there is an unwritten rule that almost everyone should wear a white strapless dress to get married...... it makes no sense to me! my body doesn't suit strapless and i wish more of the mainstream shops would offer more variety in styles rather than only offering subtle variations on a theme.

I don't think that I got that memo! :rotfl: I didn't want a strapless dress either, and found it quite easy to find non-strapless styles.

Bottom line is, the dress is really important to some brides, and not that big a deal to others.

melancholly wrote: »

that's true - but it can also hardly be surprising that on a website about moneysaving, people will see an expensive and immediately come up with ideas on how to get it more cheaply. it isn't 'snobbery', just the MSE way, surely?! everything else i agree with - it was the inverse snobbery bit i didn't like. the whole point of this site is to get the best possible value and therefore it's always worth considering in full all the options - which for a dress includes things like getting it made or going to a charity shop. particularly when the set up for the thread was that the dress is over budget!

But MSE is not about being as frugal as possible and spending as little as possible, full stop. It's about having the lifestyle that YOU want on YOUR budget. There is a huge spectrum of financial backgrounds here - from those who are deep in debt to those who have substantial savings. We are all looking for value for money.

My £1,300 dress, to me, is great value for money as I adore it. To someone else, that would be a waste as they would not prioritise the dress but would buy(say) a £500 cake. Whereas I could never spend that much money on a cake. Others may not want to spend more than £2,000 on the entire wedding - either because they're skint or because they have higher priorities.

It's all horses for courses.

jenhug

http://www.bridalbargains.co.uk/
you could keep an eye on a website like this, it will also give you an idea of which designers are in which price range.

jenhug

http://www.alfredangelobridal.co.uk/collections/displaycollection.aspx?CategoryId=c6ed76ea-8f2b-4dcd-99e5-cfd56c0bb4d0

hamsterfan1

thanks for the bargain brides link - have sent my daughter a link for one of those - also they have one similar to the one she really likes but in a different colour scheme

mrsbunntobe

was just wondering if anyone had used these?
http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&me=A28EEM7YZBK0E8&rh=p_4%3ALace%C3%A9is%20TM%20Corset%20Closure&page=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w30w65cTd_c

brightonman123

£1k for a pair of shoes???

floss2

brightonman123 wrote: »

£1k for a pair of shoes???

It's a girl thing....and they will be worn more than once, unlike most wedding dresses!

OP, maybe you need to go visual to explain the budget to your daughter....how about showing it as fruit or a cake, taking away however much is for what part of the budget, and showing how much (or little) is left for the dress?

Also, has she actually tried these on....and did they suit her...and has she tried any others on anywhere else since then?

Taadaa

London_Mum wrote: »

well I don't know about you ladies, but as far as I remember the dress was more important to me than anything else (20yrs ago). And I am so gratefull that my parents didn't try to convince me to go for something else, something cheaper/less glamorous (they had very small budget too).

So I would say - go for the dress she wants and spend less on something else.
Once you fall in love with something how can you go for something 'less glamorous'? It's almost like saying 'go for another man, you can't afford this one' What I mean - for some it makes no big difference what kind of dress they wear, but for others it's THAT dress that they want, nothing else. Because that's when you feel like a princess, beautiful and full of confidence. That's that matters most. The way it makes you feel on your big day.

Of course you could try more shops and hope that she falls in love with few more dresses, that hopefully cost less...

I felt like this as well. I didn't care about flowers or a nice car to take me to the venue, but l didn't want to compromise on dress. I wanted a British made and designed one. And l got it, but l had to pay for it myself outside of the budget. My Dh didn't agree with my priorities!

kaloo

Try a website called stillwhite - sorry cant post link as I havent posted on forum before and it wont let me.
Loads of dresses from various designers. I only found it because I'm trying to sell my wedding dress because I want a different one! Plenty of people change their minds. I didnt realise before I bought my dress unfortunately but bridal shops are pretty ruthless with regard to refunding money. Lots of people sell dresses they havent worn or obviously have worn just the once. Hope this helps - good luck with the dress shopping.