managing dress expectations

melancholly

MrsDrink wrote: »

But I don't like the undercurrents of inverse snobbery around buying 'expensive' wedding dresses.

you see i don't read it as inverse snobbery - more telling people how it is possible to find a dream dress without over stretching financially. that said, if anyone is struggling with money and chooses to spend more on an item of clothing for a single day than they would spend in rent or mortgage payments for a number of months, then i'd question that choice. just because my priorities would be different. if money is no object, then anyone cna go crazy. but on MSE everyone loves a bargain so getting an 'expensive' dress much cheaper by other means seems like a great idea!

personally, i think it is utter madness for a vast proportion of the wedding budget to be entirely spent on the bride. be that a £500 dress in a £3000 budget or a £25,000 dress in a £100,000 budget. but i realise that for a lot of people, that's what matters most. i completely understand that other people would view it differently, but for me, something sits uncomfortably about a wedding being all about the bride, rather than all about the couple (equally, when you watch DTTB and the groom wastes half the budget on a stag do, it seems crazy to me!). the point of an open forum is that there will always be different opinions and that's kind of inevitable and, really, the point!

Olokia

Not sure where you are but if you are near Gloucestershire then I would definitely recommend this place.
http://www.bridalsaleshop.co.uk/

They have loads of dresses - ex display, over purchases etc and usually about 50% off RRP.

wanchai_2

melancholly wrote: »

you see i don't read it as inverse snobbery - more telling people how it is possible to find a dream dress without over stretching financially. that said, if anyone is struggling with money and chooses to spend more on an item of clothing for a single day than they would spend in rent or mortgage payments for a number of months, then i'd question that choice. just because my priorities would be different. if money is no object, then anyone cna go crazy. but on MSE everyone loves a bargain so getting an 'expensive' dress much cheaper by other means seems like a great idea!

personally, i think it is utter madness for a vast proportion of the wedding budget to be entirely spent on the bride. be that a £500 dress in a £3000 budget or a £25,000 dress in a £100,000 budget. but i realise that for a lot of people, that's what matters most. i completely understand that other people would view it differently, but for me, something sits uncomfortably about a wedding being all about the bride, rather than all about the couple (equally, when you watch DTTB and the groom wastes half the budget on a stag do, it seems crazy to me!). the point of an open forum is that there will always be different opinions and that's kind of inevitable and, really, the point!

I don't think that MrsD is suggesting that anyone should buy a dress that they can't afford or go into debt for it (or indeed the wedding). What she is saying (and I agree) is that we all must prioritise and, having worked out our budgets, we make an informed choice.

OH and I are spending what we can afford on our wedding. We are sensible with our money and, as a result, we can afford to pay for our wedding very comfortably and without any problems. We have chosen to spend £1,300 (13% of the budget) on my dress as we can afford it. We are saving on other things, e.g. our cake will be from M&S, we're not doing favours, my shoes are £30 from Next, I'm borrowing jewellery from my mum (which I love).

RainbowDrops

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Apologies, will edit post.

No probs - we all know it goes on, but it's good to keep an eye on it
I've edited my post too.

PinkPrincess83

wanchai wrote: »

Berkertex do have an awful reputation btw!

I think maybe it depends where you are. My local Berkertex were so helpful and nice.

I had a very small budget for my dress, and couldnt justify spending more than the £400 I had budgeted. I went to Berkertex when they had a sample sale and found my dress which I love for £200 (reduced from £900) and when I was trying it on I had the manager helping me as they were so busy, and I got treated in the same way as all the other brides trying on dresses that were £900 each. I didnt even look or try any dresses on that were not in budget, I actually love my dress though and it is very similar to what I had in my head that I would get.

Op, have you had a good look around to see if there are similar dresses that may be last season, if there is any you may find you can get it for less in shops, or online.

mildred1978

melancholly wrote: »

, something sits uncomfortably about a wedding being all about the bride, rather than all about the couple (equally, when you watch DTTB and the groom wastes half the budget on a stag do, it seems crazy to me!). the point of an open forum is that there will always be different opinions and that's kind of inevitable and, really, the point!

Have only seen a few episodes of DTTB but it amazes me just how many truly hideous dresses there are to choose from at these bridal shops! And frankly I can't tell the £1500 dresses from the £600 ones (they're all equally hideous :rotfl:).

RainbowDrops

MrsDrink wrote: »

But I don't like the undercurrents of inverse snobbery around buying 'expensive' wedding dresses. For me being MSE is about getting what you want for the best possible price, regardless of your budget. It isn't about buying the cheapest option regardless. We all have different priorities in life.

Totally, but the OP is suggesting that the dress price is too much in this instance.

melancholly

mildred1978 wrote: »

Have only seen a few episodes of DTTB but it amazes me just how many truly hideous dresses there are to choose from at these bridal shops! And frankly I can't tell the £1500 dresses from the £600 ones (they're all equally hideous :rotfl:).

well quite!! but i'm not the person to ask because to me, they largely look the same and i can't see how some of those brides react like it's the end of the world because the dress has buttons up the back rather than being tied up. i honestly don't understand why there is an unwritten rule that almost everyone should wear a white strapless dress to get married...... it makes no sense to me! my body doesn't suit strapless and i wish more of the mainstream shops would offer more variety in styles rather than only offering subtle variations on a theme.

melancholly

wanchai wrote: »

I don't think that MrsD is suggesting that anyone should buy a dress that they can't afford or go into debt for it (or indeed the wedding). What she is saying (and I agree) is that we all must prioritise and, having worked out our budgets, we make an informed choice.

that's true - but it can also hardly be surprising that on a website about moneysaving, people will see an expensive and immediately come up with ideas on how to get it more cheaply. it isn't 'snobbery', just the MSE way, surely?! everything else i agree with - it was the inverse snobbery bit i didn't like. the whole point of this site is to get the best possible value and therefore it's always worth considering in full all the options - which for a dress includes things like getting it made or going to a charity shop. particularly when the set up for the thread was that the dress is over budget!

rainee

Not sure where you are in the uk but there is a fab shop at Hornsea freeport with tons of dresses in sizes from 6 to 30 I didn't know they existed before I got married in 2006 my daughter aged 15 has seen a couple of prom dresses she likes......
I got mine from China via ebay it was lovely just what i wanted had to take it to the tailors to make the bust smaller mind you but grand total of £125.00 add bhs for the veil and the waistcoats and next for the bridesmaid dresses all 8 of them except i foolishly sent back 2 thinking they were not needed and with 10 days to go managed to find 2 2nd hand ones on ebay.......(that was stressful)