Pregnant. How are we going to manage??????

fatnbald

You will cope, everyone just does.

You are obviously in a good job with a career ahead of you, many people without your prospects find themselves in the same position and cope with it. Yes initially there is a panic but the rewards just blow all the fears and worries out of the water.

We found ourselves in a similar position with an unplanned second pregnancy when our first daughter was 7, we ended up with another two to cope with as we had twins, boy and girl, panic! I should say so!!.

As far as planning children is concerned it is almost an impossible task because finances and lifestyle usually dictate that it is never logically "the right time".

firesidemaid

i would just like to say that you do have a great job that will provide security and fulfillment and, if you need it, time out from the baby. who knows, one day you might even fancy obs + gynae? (don't kill me)....

i don't have kids, but i admire people who do - and my tip is read the baby section in martin's book 'thrifty ways for modern days' - well, read all of it.

you will all be fine x

Jamz

I just LOVE how people call them suprises.

Just so you know, if you have sex and don't use all the precautions available then expect it to happen. My other half and i use Condoms and the pill so the chances of us having a suprise are astronomical...

papworth

There are big advantages to having your children young.
When they become more independent you will still be young enough to enjoy it. Also grandparents tend to be young enough to help - my parents are too elderly to have the children to stay for example.
You will have more energy to cope with the work entailed and the broken nights - they are NOT 'sleepless' just broken slightly.
Remember it's only 3 years before they start pre-school and then they go to school at 4 and a half so that will give your OH time to work if you both want her to.
Kids DON'T cost a fortune - it's the parents who are silly.
I have bought stuff at NCT sales (secondhand) which has been lovely then sold it back again a few years later. I also buy 'bundles' of clothes on ebay ie my son aged 7 just had 33 peices of quality clothing for £46. Don't turn your nose up at secondhand it really is good as new and the kids never know anyway.
I expect family and friends will chip in with typically one offering to buy the pram and one the cot etc.
Check out freecycle yahoo groups as people often give away childrens stuff.
Don't go mad -children don't need a whole new set of furniture. An old towel is good for a changing mat AND it goes in the washing machine.
Spending time and having fun with your children, giving them love, is the most important thing not what you spend on them.
Enjoy the excitement of telling everyone and congratulations on having that person in your life that you will love with all your heart and soul

kal25

Giles, congratulations to you & OH , however as most posters have put a lot of people feel the way you do when they first find out. Most also have the same idea as you that babies will come when we plan them SO NOT TRUE.
I was 20 when fell preg and had him just before my 21st. My husband didn't seem excited at all, yet he wnt for a smoke after I'd given birth and came back with a red rose for me and a teddy for LO (not normally romantic so quite a shock for me). He really was beaming from ear to ear.
The second time We were both scared to death we had a mortgage and LO AND my hubby had just been told his place of work was closing. I never thought for one minute that we would be able to cope with the strain of another baby. However, after having a hectic preg we had another boy and again although my hubby was not excited at all he was beaming from ear to ear and doted on him totally.
The third time I was just totally dumbstruck as we had only planned to have two. We even considered whether or not to have this baby. I felt nothing when I first found out apart from panic, I had just been told I might be made perm at my job the boys were older (6 & 3), how would I cope with another?
It was not until I went for the 1st scan that I fell in love with my baby and felt guilty for the way I had been feeling and although we never planned her I would never be without her, in fact she completes the family.
So don't be tough on yourself because you don't feel excited and it hasn't sunk in. You have 9/10 months to get used to the idea, as other have said they don't have to be expensive, as you can get good stuff from Freecycle, ebay, papers and offers/ sales that can be found in the forums.
Good luck :T Kal25

GirlRacer_2

Sometimes even when you plan to have children it's hard. My children are 13 and 9 and I'm still struggling financially!!!!!

ooobedoo

I would just like to say congratulations, DH and I tried for 2 years before we got DS. We were still in shock, scared, excited and all the emotions that you and your girlie are going through.

As other posters have said, you never have a right time...but things always happen for a reason...Just think when your baby runs a temparature, you'll be ace and sorting him/her out. Having a child will help you have something to chat to your patients about, I have no idea what I used to talk to people about before....from what school to where to get the cheapest shoes.

keelykat

Jamz wrote:

I just LOVE how people call them suprises.

Just so you know, if you have sex and don't use all the precautions available then expect it to happen. My other half and i use Condoms and the pill so the chances of us having a suprise are astronomical...

I kind of agree with you here but really dont want to get yelled at contraception is easy to sort out these days-you can get condoms and the pill etc etc free from many places, along with free advice on whats best for you. but im not going to preach or make out im perfect or anything.

Getting pregnant by suprise once would def make me re-think what contraception i was previously using (or not).

Congratulations though, having a baby will change your life forever-as my sister says she cant imagine life without (her third daughter).

keelykat.

bunty109

I understand how you must feel. No matter how carefully you plan, it always comes as a shock!

One area where you are very fortunate is your career. Although at present you may wonder how you will manage financially, you WILL manage! I fell for my first after only being married a few months and I thought I would have to work full-time just to be able to afford everything we needed. By the time the baby arrived, OH was getting on at work and I was able to work for a couple of days a week, rather than full-time.

We were both also fairly young, and I have to admit it has been great, and I wouldn't change it.

You will manage!

troll35

I'm going to add my congratulations. I know it is a big shock but I know you will get over that and whilst you may be worried as to how you will cope, as a member of this forum you will always have plenty of support and cyber friendship. Being a parent is hard but incredibly rewarding. Unfortunately life seems to throw these things at us be it unexpected pregnancy or the lack of it. I wish you both luck and I hope the journey won't be as traumatic as you expect.