When I asked for luck I didn't mean the bad variety!!!

Skint_but_Optimistic

Aww bless you. Its so hard to form an attachment and lose a baby - they are more real to to us than they are to others as we are affected by carrying them.

I lost a boy when DD1 was 2. I was 8 and a half months pregnant and my gran was ill with cancer. I was meant to be picking her up from hospital on the wednesday so she could come home for her last days. I took ill and I was admitted to hospital and lost my baby - traumatically and when I came round following the resulting sedation I was told my gran had died. I was absolutely haunted for so many years and I still have his picture. My gran had been waiting for me to take her home and I didnt get there. I struggled to cope with the reality. Now, 21 years later I am looking to the middle of May with dread. You wont ever forget how you felt - and thats what makes us mums. Its worth the pain to have the rewards and to make us reflect and feel lucky for what we do have I suppose.

Heres hoping for your lottery win. You deserve it. x

HeadAboveWater

Aw *big hug* skint

Skint_but_Optimistic

Aww its ok - I need to remember what I have and I was lucky enough to have a little picture. It doesnt matter when you lose a child - once they are there inside you - you are their mum and love them.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Oh SBO sweetheart, I'm so sorry for your losses . Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Big hugs from me too, it must be so hard for you, especially around anniversary time. Xx

I've given myself a talking to and I feel better. I promise to stop being such a whingebag.

Skint_but_Optimistic

You ate no whingebag! Sunny today any plans?

please-let-me-be-lucky

Urgh, SBO it's the first week of my new hours at work which means I'm stuck in there 12-3pm. I know I shouldn't complain as it's only 3 hours but it knacks up the whole day! Not sure if the boys are staying with DH and MIL today or if my Mum is taking them out. If they are staying at home I will take them to the park or something after work if it's still nice.

DH has just gone back to bed saying he feels a bit sick though :eek:

Skint_but_Optimistic

Aww no. Hope he's ok x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Boys went out with my Mum for the day and had a great time .

Work was carp, they've cut so many hours it ended up with 2 of us doing the work of 5 .

DH has had a dodgy tummy and is shivery but so far seems nothing more sinister. (*insert fingers crossed smiley here!*).

I lied when I said I was doing ok. I keep hiding on my own to have a little cry .

debtfreewannabe321

Dropping by to see if you were feeling better in yourself. Can see your not so dropping off some hugs to all that need one.

Have you thought about trying some meditation? My story isn't quite the same (at all really...) but when I was struggling with depression I found it to be my only saving grace. Everytime I feel down now I sneak off and find 5 -10 minutes to re-connect with myself through a simple meditation. Thought I would mention it anyway, but totally understand if it's not your thing xx

*Robin*

Hello Lucky, (((hugs))) from me too. And a sympathetic lick from CD.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Have you thought about trying some meditation? My story isn't quite the same (at all really...) but when I was struggling with depression I found it to be my only saving grace. Everytime I feel down now I sneak off and find 5 -10 minutes to re-connect with myself through a simple meditation. Thought I would mention it anyway, but totally understand if it's not your thing xx

..That's a good idea, one I also practise in the haven of my garden, as you know.
Harder for you to take time out because there are so many calls on your attention, Lucky, but well worth doing.

Have you thought of planting a tree, or a rose bush perhaps, as a way of acknowledging your sorrow? The pain is worse because no-one wants to talk about a miscarried child - bringing your loss into the open is much healthier (and hopefully would remind in-laws to be more understanding and sympathetic). A second benefit is that it gives you a corner of your garden to visit when you're feeling sad and fragile.
Let your tears fall when they must; it's very cathartic, but let them fall on a patch of ground which will blossom as you tend it, in memory of a beloved child who you didn't get the chance to nurture..

(Umm yes, I did. One of those trees with huge waxy pinky-white flowers that have such an amazing scent, which bloom early in the year when everything else is still dormant - can't for the life of me remember the name of it.. Sold the house years ago, but the tree is still there, huge now - current owners know the story; they allow me to visit when in the area :A).