No contact with my lovely son

red_devil

sensible attitude but no doubt you will still hurt.

Out of interest as another poster asked does he live near you I am thinking not.

Caroline_a

This sort of thing is so terribly sad. I have a colleague who has no contact with his daughters since he stopped paying huge sums (£00's per month) into their banks after they had graduated. All he had in the way of thanks was an abusive text, and now he has no idea where they are.

Makes you wonder what the other parent has been saying...

red_devil

when they find out he has died if he does they will regret it. I think many people muck around not realising that they are playing silly games its too late when a person has gone.

DylanO

Lance wrote: »

It sounds like when the bank of mum dried up he abandond uni, his future, to get money for his car and mobile. He would'nt have been the first student to work and study but not be able to afford a car and expensive mobile. Sounds spoilt tbh and has some hard lessons to learn unless you get a new source of money to support him. He does sound a bit like Daddy tbh with his attitude towards you and money. You've told him you are there for him..... except as a cash cow..... so will have to leave it at that and wait for him to grow up.

Considering he financially supported his mother while he was an 18-year-old student, he doesn't sound spoilt to me. And it sounds like between his absent father and his over-reliant and now absent mother, he's learned quite a few hard lessons already.

The OP may want to play the victim, and as she's a woman - on here she will certainly be confirmed as one, but the only victim I see here is the son.

red_devil

DylanO wrote: »

Considering he financially supported his mother while he was an 18-year-old student, he doesn't sound spoilt to me. And it sounds like between his absent father and his over-reliant and now absent mother, he's learned quite a few hard lessons already.

The OP may want to play the victim, and as she's a woman - on here she will certainly be confirmed as one, but the only victim I see here is the son.

life is too short for messing around though. The mum has asked to meet and he wont. If she isnt here one day he may regret it. One fallout/misunderstanding does not have to lead to a life of not talking.

janninew

kj*daisy wrote: »

Sounds like your husband saw you as a source of money and your son has learned the same behaviour , so when the money wasn't forthcoming he's sulking as he sees it's his right to have money off you. I hope he sees how cruel he's being and gets in touch - take care.

I'm not entirely sure how you come to that conclusion, the OP states that her 18 year old son supported her financially after the split

desert_rose

He's had a tough time by all accounts and he's doing what most of us would do - given his age/circumstances....he's surviving. Sometimes, the only way to survive is to turn away from people who create constant stress and drama - are you one of these people perhaps?

He's turned to his girlfriend and rejected his parents because he most probably felt that they'd turned away from him. When you're that young, the world is still black and white with no shades of grey unfortunately.

Sounds to me as if he's been badly hurt by recent events. And there's only so much one can take when this happens. You need to acknowledge those feelings of hurt and abandonment if some form of closure is to take place.

red_devil

desert_rose wrote: »

He's had a tough time by all accounts and he's doing what most of us would do - given his age/circumstances....he's surviving. Sometimes, the only way to survive is to turn away from people who create constant stress and drama - are you one of these people perhaps?

He's turned to his girlfriend and rejected his parents because he most probably felt that they'd turned away from him. When you're that young, the world is still black and white with no shades of grey unfortunately.

Sounds to me as if he's been badly hurt by recent events. And there's only so much one can take when this happens. You need to acknowledge those feelings of hurt and abandonment if some form of closure is to take place.

she might if she could only meet with him.

Lance

red_devil wrote: »

when they find out he has died if he does they will regret it.

They will if he leaves loads of cash to charity.

victory

lovelylife wrote: »

Hi everyone and thankyou for your lovely supportive posts.
Yes I have done all of the above and told him how much I love him and yes he does know about the Hysterectomy and he still wont reply.
Its so sad. I did move a long way away, he was offered to come with , but he wanted to stay in Esssex with gf and live his own life, he has dropped uni and working in a fast food resturant now.
I feel I have done everything possible for him and will leave the door open for he is my son .
But a lot of me feels he has turned into a spoilt little so and so and that makes me angry .
Im partially sighted as well so please excuse spelling mistakes.lol xx
Thankyou all so much for your input .
Fi x

With you moving hundreds of miles away could your son not feel as if he has lost the two parents that he looked up to, loved, cared for, wanted them to be his parents forever and stay together and now he has the thought of his dad having an affair, you not being able to cope and financially leaning on your son, then a move, then a let down with the monies?

That is a lot for a teenager to have to cope with. He may be angry, in denial, shocked his life turned out like this, he may have a lot going on in his head, so many unaswered questions, why did this happen?