On line Dating

llh189

I have had the get on really well thing via e-mail or phone and then the face to face goes either badly or the spark thing just isn't there.

I would normally in those circumstances either wait to see of they get back in touch with me, if they do and it then depends on what they say.

I have had to do a couple of Dear John e-mails -which I felt really bad about, one guy did turn in to a bit of a stalker, complelation CD, valentine flowers, etc etc - he did begin to worry me although he was very harmless and I didn't feel at risk, but him just turning up did begin to freak me out!

One guy who I am afraid to say bored the pants of me, turned up with his lunch down his top, nursed one pint for two hours ( even though I offered to buy him another drink) told me he felt I wasn't wham bam enough for him by e-mail ( bloody cheek ) but would give me another go, just in case he had got it wrong - needless to say I just ignored him, I favoured that approach as apposed to being plain rude, which is what my friends suggested, it took a further two e-mails being ignored for him to get the drift!

Not had the over friendly type, although one guy did make it very clear that in return for his £70 dinner at bit of the other wouldn't go a miss ( and yes I did offer on several occassions to pay my half ) but I declined and went home, again didn't feel threatened or under pressure.

It of courses goes without saying that you always tell someone where you are and have an escape plan, and not have top reply on public transport to get or ( if you can ).

Even with some first telephone calls I have people on hand to call my mobile, so I can quickly end my landline call if I need to!

Lord I sound like a bit of a !!!!!!, which I'm not but I would find it really hard to say to someone, this call isn't working out etc etc - so escape plans are good and avoids hurting someones feelings.

marniecat

got this in my mail box this morning....join DatingDirect for free and WE ALL LIKE FREE : )
http://www.datingdirect.com/index.php?mtcmk=082671&CJPID=1578729

snugglepuss_2

llh189 wrote: »

Match.com is about £70 for 6 months, don't believe the six months free offer if you don't meet anyone the T and C's make it hard to fulfill the critera for the offer.

They do not do anything but allow you to post your profile and the e-mail other people - no back ground checks etc - but then none of them do that as far as I know!

I would avoid match, as a female I found that they men were either:

* completely shallow but yet professing to be really open minded to meeting new people for a fulfilling relationship, ( in other words you must be blond, size 12, and not want any committment, be a sex goddess and cook like Nigella)

* be completely in to extreme sports, I am no couch potatoe but god who does really ski, surf, run, sail, trek, climb and dive - every single week!

* some have lived at home all of their lives with their moms

* Yes some are married

* some just want a shag ( excuse my language )

* if you do make it to a conversation or even a date, can't seem to verbally communicate, even though they all say the are great talkers or they stalk you ( not in a you need to call the police but still turning up whenever they want is bad )

* Lots are registered on every site going

* Lots start off really interested and then just fade away

This of course is only my opinion, and match automatically renewed my membership after 6 months, so it cost me £140 ish to not really meet anyone who was really serious about actually finding a new partner.

But hey it does work for some, just be opened minded, do it for a laugh, don't think that it is the answer to finding someone.

HTH

Match.com isn't that bad really. Yes, you do have to pay (you can turn off the auto-renew feature), but I've made friends with people I have met on there, and was fortunate enough to meet my OH on there too. We've been together for a year now, and he reckons it was the best money he has ever spent as it was an investment in the rest of our lives. (He signed up for a month and met me face to face within 2 weeks after many emails and phone calls, so jokes about trying to get a partial refund! - very MSE!)

Yes, there are some people who are only after one thing, but as it is a paying site, I have found that there are less of them on there, than at non-paying sites I joined. uDate was a complete waste of time - no, i was not interested in meeting single blokes from Africa or the US (a bit of a generalisation, i know, but i ended up blocking uDate emails as they wouldn't take no for an answer). Lycos had a site (not sure if it is still running) and most of the blokes on there at the time I joined were really dodgy and still living with their mums.

LouBlue

fabianne wrote: »

Hi
There should be a MSE dating site!!-we would all have loads to talk about!! and understand when the other person is in debt?

I started one in the Arms and it took off SO quickly but the Mods pulled it as they said MSE couldn't be held responsible for the safety of the members on here etc.....it was a shame because it was so popular. I know members can PM each other on here but people are shy. So on the thread I did, people PMd me with their age, location and interests and I continually updated the OP so members could see who were single and looking so it was then left up to them. So as I said, shame it got pulled but I did try - Cilla 'ere.

I met my OH on Yahoo Personals. He messaged me cos my Headline was about Chelsea and he was a Chelsea fan. He saw where I lived and almost couldn't be ar**ed as I lived 50 miles away but luckily changed his mind. We emailed for a bit, then chatted on the phone, then met and he moved in after 4 months and 4 years later, we are still together.

http://advision.webevents.yahoo.com/scp/viewer/index.php?client_id=5286&event_id=16087

Good luck everyone! :T

chickalittle

fabianne wrote: »

Another thing-what are the rules with this kind of dating?
What if you meet up and really don't like them but got on well via the site and email?
What if they try and snog the face off of you and it's not welcome?

I have a pal who has been very active on the internet dating and newspaper ads etc for some time now. One of her rules is that she always tries to meet any "date" on her lunch hour. She says an hour is long enough to give you an idea of whether you are both interested and if you're not then it's only an hour to perservere rather than be stuck with someone for a whole evening.

BettyDebt

snugglepuss wrote: »

Match.com isn't that bad really. Yes, you do have to pay (you can turn off the auto-renew feature), but I've made friends with people I have met on there, and was fortunate enough to meet my OH on there too. We've been together for a year now, and he reckons it was the best money he has ever spent as it was an investment in the rest of our lives. (He signed up for a month and met me face to face within 2 weeks after many emails and phone calls, so jokes about trying to get a partial refund! - very MSE!)

Yes, there are some people who are only after one thing, but as it is a paying site, I have found that there are less of them on there, than at non-paying sites I joined. uDate was a complete waste of time - no, i was not interested in meeting single blokes from Africa or the US (a bit of a generalisation, i know, but i ended up blocking uDate emails as they wouldn't take no for an answer). Lycos had a site (not sure if it is still running) and most of the blokes on there at the time I joined were really dodgy and still living with their mums.

I too met my OH on Match.com last year. I paid for one month. Was brutually honest in my explainations of who I am and what I was looking for. I got winked at and messaged by numerous people but only one profile attracted me and it was his. He had what I perceived to be a geniune profile, was very clear about what type of person he wanted too. We started chatting over the phone almost immediately, met up within a week and are getting married next year. So I think if you play games you find players. I know I am one of the few lucky ones but if it can happen to us, it can happen to others

llh189

It's been three and a bit months since my previous post ( see above ) and I am fairly jaded by the internet dating process. My profile is honest, my pictures are recent and yet I still meet bloke after bloke who just wants to get laid!

If you don't put up the goods asap they dont' want to see you and well if you do you get the same result.

The decent blokes that are looking for an actual relationship do exist but I really think that they are few and far between.

I'm not looking just to get laid and I don't think that every man I meet is a potential husband either. Can do dating without my head or heart running a way from its self but yet I am to stumble across similar attitudes with the men I meet.

I would still advise to give it a go - keep your expectations low and don't think that it is the answer.

Don't do months of e-mailing or phonecalls move fairly quickly to meeting, you get a better feel for people and how honest they are.

I'm still giving it a go haven't completely lost faith but you need to be quite thick skinned to keep picking yourself back up after each dissappointment.

Glad to see from the above comments that it does work for some!

LouBlue

Personally, I was just really fussy. I had tons of replies but only agreed to meet up with 2 blokes altogether. The second is my OH. I couldn't cope with chatting to more than one at a time, much too confusing and would have probably lead to disappointments etc.. which would have put me off.

tomstickland

I am fairly jaded by the internet dating process

I think many people end up feeling that way too.

meher

tomstickland wrote: »

I think many people end up feeling that way too.

you're just too good