Advice / Support needed

Yoga_Girl

Hi Luis, I think you've had some excellent advice so far so not much to add other than keep trying to be positive. When we get trapped in a spiral of negative thinking we have to try to "retrain" our minds to think positively - a bit like learning to drive on the other side of the road. Things that help are all the wonderful suggestions you've had so far,and make sure you spend at least 5 minutes at the end of each day listing all your postitive achievements/attributes of that day (and they don't have to be major things, just day-to-day stuff we take for granted that we do but sometimes the little things are important).

You said you tend to "nurse" hurtful comments or critisisms, I believe that when people say hurtful things it usually says a lot more about them than the person they're talking to. For example people who don't feel great about themselves or are bitter about their own lives will sometimes put others down just to make themselves feel better. If people are sending hurtful comments your way imagine you have a huge tennis racket and bat that comment back to them before you give it chance to get inside you. Tell yourself "that comment does not belong to me".

Negative thinking does tend to stem from an inner chatter in our heads, that we're often unaware of. You have to try to notice this chatter then challenge any negative thoughts, or replace them with positive ones, even one as simple as noticing the colour of leaves on a tree for example.

Good luck

Nice avatar by the way!

Ted_Hutchinson

Are you depressed? Take the "netdoctor" test

Useful Netdoctor article on Self-esteem

Herbal remedy 'better than drugs at treating depression'

ceegee

mightymo wrote:

I am constantly reading books to help me be positive

I would recommend these books (these are ones I have read and re-read many times!)

You Can if you Think you Can by Norman Vincent Peale (Christian)
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (Christian)


end of quote
========================================================



I thoroughly agree with mightymo about Norman Vincent Peale. He is so ....good (what an inadequate word to describe the man with!!)

I have read his books. The Power of Positive Thinking was awesome.

It was the most influential book I have ever read. I copied out bits from it and had them plastered all over the house to keep me going.

I had borrowed it from the library and I know that it was re-published within the last two years. I'm going to splash out and buy my own copy.

I cannot recommend this book enough....the power that is inside of each of us is even more than awesome.

See......I can't even find adequate words to describe what this book can do. Well, it's not the book doing it, is it? It's you!!!

I'm off to Kelkoo now to see where I can get a copy. I will come back with a price etc.

Lots of hugs to you Luis....you are in my thoughts.

ceegee

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale is available for £7.19 free p&p from BookFellas.co.uk

I have also come across a smaller book (in my searching just now) called The Power of Positive Thinking - A Practical Guide to Mastering the Problems of Everyday Living, also by the Rev Dr Peale. It looks very good and I've ordered myself a copy from Amazon. price 30 pence, new, £2.75 p&P.

Also, I ordered the first book again. Although I read it a few years ago and it helped me more than I can say (it literally changed my life), I do feel that I am slipping again, so I shall re-read it. Having ordered a copy, I know that I will always have it by my side just in case I need a bit of help in the future.

Finally, cannot thank mightymo enough for mentioning the book and thus reminding me of it!

BTW, the first-mentioned book has sold 12 million copies and is often reprinted, so we are certainly not alone in being in need of a bit of help along life's bumpy old road!

SnowyOwl_2

Just wondering, are the Norman Vincent Peale books religious in nature? i went to the library yesterday to try and find his publications but there were none on the shelf. I'm not a religious person at all and this would put me off - but if they aren't then I think I'd ask the library to order a copy of The Power of Postive Thinking.

I borrowed a copy of The Luck Factor by Dr Richard Wiseman and can hardly put it down. He is a psychologist who has researched lucky and unlucky people and the difference between them. It's facinating how your outlook can attract luck and literally change your life. There is quite a bit of cross over with other self-help methods. I haven't finished it yet, but I would already recommend this book to you Luis to help transform the way you react and interact with life and what comes your way.

jazzyjustlaw

Luis wrote:

I need some support and advice.

I am a real pessimist - very negative thinker, and find it so hard to see the bright side of anything. This means that at the slightest setback, I feel totally discouraged and like 'jacking it all in' (whatever it might be I am doing).

Also, the slightest bit of criticism and I dissolve for days - if someone is mean to me, I carry it round for ever.

But I can't keep on like this - it is doing my head in, probably doing the OH's head in too, bless him - and ruling my life.

Please can someone help - I am sick of the glass being broken (never mind half empty....)

Luis

I think you should not be too hard on yourself accept that you may be pessimistic and then try to do something about it. It might take a while but I can be the same. Even if life goes well for me I can find myself looking at the down side. You are only human, none of us our perfect and I think nowadays we all try to be too perfect. I know I have done.

When you think these pessimistic thoughts look at it and say oh there goes another thought and do not analyse it too much. I go to Yoga and I meditate when I can. Try to find a good Yoga teacher and good luck.

mutley74

Luis,
I would recommend reading Anthony Robbins 'Unlimited Power'. It gives good advice on how to control you state of mind and thinking. Helped me a lot, so i have booked to go to his course in May.

Luis

To Jazzyjustlaw - I am really interested in the Yoga idea, at the moment my job precludes attending any regular classes due to the shift work (rarely get home before 10pm on a work day and unpredictable work pattern etc).

I once went to an individual tutor for a few weeks, but at £20 a shot, the costs came out a bit prohibitive, so I stopped.

Does anyone know a good DVD that I can use (if this is a good way to learn?). Someone mentioned to me once that the Geri Halliwell one is in fact good, but knowing little in this area, I am not sure.

I have ordered some books, and decided that I have had a good weekend - very traditional easter (modern style!), some DIY, hot cross buns, roast Turkey din cooked by OH (he really is ace), naff tv, and far too much time on t'internet lol.

Loved the tip about writing down a horrible abusive letter to people who have been mean - next time I will do this.

I am going to do the writing down stuff and putting it in a box bit too - sounds good.

I have also started to try and notice when I am 'catastrophising' and trying to put things into context and reframe my responses to things. Earl days and all that, but every little helps.

The most helpful thing of all is I keep coming back here and reading and re-reading this thread - so nice to see what others have posted, and really great when someone new posts. Every time I look up some new suggestion, or read messages of support, I feel empowered - truly.

So thanks.

Luis x

jazzyjustlaw

Luis wrote:

To Jazzyjustlaw - I am really interested in the Yoga idea, at the moment my job precludes attending any regular classes due to the shift work (rarely get home before 10pm on a work day and unpredictable work pattern etc).

I once went to an individual tutor for a few weeks, but at £20 a shot, the costs came out a bit prohibitive, so I stopped.

Does anyone know a good DVD that I can use (if this is a good way to learn?). Someone mentioned to me once that the Geri Halliwell one is in fact good, but knowing little in this area, I am not sure.

I have ordered some books, and decided that I have had a good weekend - very traditional easter (modern style!), some DIY, hot cross buns, roast Turkey din cooked by OH (he really is ace), naff tv, and far too much time on t'internet lol.

Loved the tip about writing down a horrible abusive letter to people who have been mean - next time I will do this.

I am going to do the writing down stuff and putting it in a box bit too - sounds good.

I have also started to try and notice when I am 'catastrophising' and trying to put things into context and reframe my responses to things. Earl days and all that, but every little helps.

The most helpful thing of all is I keep coming back here and reading and re-reading this thread - so nice to see what others have posted, and really great when someone new posts. Every time I look up some new suggestion, or read messages of support, I feel empowered - truly.

So thanks.

Luis x

I have just ordered from the bookman at work I think it is the Book People or something by Barbara Currie and this book is about fitting 10 minutes of Yoga a day into your exercise. I have one of her bookes already and it was the book which got me into Yoga. When I have the book I will tell you more about it. My Yoga teacher Sumuki Finney also wrote a book which is absolutely brilliant because it goes beyond Yoga and looks at us being more content in our daily lives. I think only a few went on sale in the Dorset area.

Please tell me the area in which you live I belong to Dorset Yoga UK but I know when we go on our annual retreat there are people joining us from all over the Country.

I see you like the idea about writing letters to people. How about writing down your feelings and other things which cause your "Peace" to be disturbed and then destroy them and let go.

My Yoga teacher ends our class with 20 minutes of deep relaxation and it is a life saver - literally as I have felt suicidal in the past and I feel so good afterwards.

Katgoddess

Luis, I don't really know what to say, but good luck.

You've come to the right place, this message board is full of knowledgable people who want to help. I definitely think talking to a third party would help.

:A :T