Keep Going Backwards - please help

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi Daysie, I was so like you a few years ago (husband is self employed too). I never had a grip of my finances and couldnt understand why we couldnt afford anything and it was all such a mess.

The best advice I could give you is to start keeping proper records of what you have coming in and out. For me seeing it in black and white was very scary but at least then I could move forward knowing where I was.

Now I have a monthly budget, I know down to a penny what everything costs, big expenses are saved for and ever pound is accounted for. Yes we are still skint, still only chipping away slowly at the debt but at least I can sleep at night knowing that we can get by.

What I did with hubby was work out his average annual income, after tax. I then divided this by twelve and started transferring that amount into the joint account every month. We then agreed an amount that he needed each week for cash which he draws out. This has worked really well and we now have money for his tax bills. In winter when his income drops it doesnt matter as there is money in the account to draw out.

Good luck, its not easy but once you have got a clear picture of where you are you can make some decisions about the future.

theoretica

You sound like you may have a spare bedroom with only one daughter left at home, have you thought about taking in a carefully chosen lodger?

A lot of your concern seems to be about your husband's work, and the van expenses etc. Has he considered whether staying self employed is the right decision and is actually turning a living wage as profit? Would it work for him to have a business account, with debit card for petrol, but no personal or household spending at all, not even a chocolate bar at the garage. He could then 'pay' himself a 'wage' once a month into the household accounts from what was known to be profit/after tax etc.

Chrisblue1962

FireWyrm wrote: »

"When eating elephants, proceed one bite at a time"....

That's enough to be going on with I think. Above all else, dont let what you cant change bother you. There is no point obsessing, you're just making yourself ill and if you do manage to cause a nervous breakdown, you'll be no use to anyone. Instead, make each day a challenge. Dont think about the end of the month or next month for that matter, just get through today. Do all you can to ensure you dont spend a single penny more than you absolutely have to and concentrate on getting rid of the smaller/expensive debts first.

Thank You Firewyrm for your brilliant post, especially the last paragraph.

Hope you don't mind, I'm going to put it into a Word document and carry it with me to remind me "How to eat an elephant " :rotfl::T.

FireWyrm

Chrisblue1962 wrote: »

Thank You Firewyrm for your brilliant post, especially the last paragraph.

Hope you don't mind, I'm going to put it into a Word document and carry it with me to remind me "How to eat an elephant " :rotfl::T.

Thanks.

The kudos actually goes to my father who gave me that particular piece of advice over 30 years ago. Whenever I face a seemingly insurmountable problem, I say it over to myself and the answer and/or way forward often becomes clear....or at least, I'm not as panicked as I was.

daysie_2

Hi, am still working on the soa, hope to have it completed shortly, its quite scary where the money going, most of it seems to be on credit cards and loans.
will post results when i have finished

daysie_2

I just have a quick question regarding hubbys income and expenses - he brings in a certain amount, but then he has a certain amount of business spend (not included in the deposits he asks for) eg petrol, website costs, sundry supplies etc, but a lot of these are bought using one of the credit cards - and then i have the credit card payment - which amounts do i include in the SOA? income minus spending, income and spending and credit cards? bit confused!

daysie_2

ok, here is the horrible truth. its not nice so please be gentle with me, its horrible really. :embarasse
for a lot of the items i only had what had been spent in the last 4 months (due to computer dying in november and taking all my ms money back up with it - backing up to memory stick now!) but some items are very regular and i was able to be quite accurate
clothing is higher than usual due to having to replace a lot of it in one go, shoes - underwear - work clothes etc.
have taken hubbys gross income and not included any supplies but have included the card payments instead
any questions if anything is not clear please ask.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 3

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1415.31
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1463
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 150
Total monthly income.................... 3028.31

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 557
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 129
Electricity............................. 190
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 71
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 73
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 46.83
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 253
Clothing................................ 68
Petrol/diesel........................... 198
Road tax................................ 39.41
Car Insurance........................... 47.28
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 70
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 41.4
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 60
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 88
Haircuts................................ 25
Entertainment........................... 35
Holiday................................. 66
Emergency fund.......................... 0
toiletries inc feminine ................ 52
tobacco................................. 34
household maintenance/furnishings....... 62
takeaways............................... 25
milkman................................. 39
misc business charges inc nat ins....... 32
bank charges............................ 68
drinks for home (wine and beer)......... 48
pet food................................ 60
Total monthly expenses.................. 2490.04


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 250000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 251500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 173356...(557)......3.43
Total secured & HP debts...... 173356....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
loans total of three...........16000.....438.......13.9
barclaycard 1 .................4514......53........10.9
hsbc card......................1186......30........29.9
tesco credit card 2............3179......35........0
barclaycard 2 .................4028......85........0
virgin credit card.............1499......39........25.93
nationwide.....................2451......35........15.9
burton store card..............115.......5.........29.9
tesco credit card 1............2557......50........19.43
business barclaycard...........1145......24........14
Total unsecured debts..........36674.....794.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,028.31
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,490.04
Available for debt repayments........... 538.27
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 794
Amount short for making debt repayments. -255.73

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 251,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -173,356
Total Unsecured debt.................... -36,674
Net Assets.............................. 41,470

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

right, i'm ready, give it to me straight. . . .

FireWyrm

daysie wrote: »

ok, here is the horrible truth. its not nice so please be gentle with me, its horrible really. :embarasse
for a lot of the items i only had what had been spent in the last 4 months (due to computer dying in november and taking all my ms money back up with it - backing up to memory stick now!) but some items are very regular and i was able to be quite accurate
clothing is higher than usual due to having to replace a lot of it in one go, shoes - underwear - work clothes etc.
have taken hubbys gross income and not included any supplies but have included the card payments instead
any questions if anything is not clear please ask.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 3

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1415.31
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1463
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 150
Total monthly income.................... 3028.31

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 557
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 129
Electricity............................. 190 Christ on a bike! What are you running, a pot farm? Something has to be done about this pronto. My direct debit is for £56 a month and I'm pretty sure I'm in credit too. Something is seriously wrong if this is true.
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 71 Bit steep...
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 73 Who gets to sacrifice a contract?
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 46.83
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 253 As discussed, we wont go over this again, but suffice it to say, I could knock £120 off this figure and still eat well.
Clothing................................ 68 Wear what you have for the next year. Sorry, you cant sustain this right now. That's £720 a year! This would pay off at least one of your loans
Petrol/diesel........................... 198
Road tax................................ 39.41
Car Insurance........................... 47.28
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 70 every month? Again, £840 a year!
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 41.4
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 60 every month? Can you drop a level of insurance. Chances are, you wont need it for the next year. Can you either cancel, or reduce
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 88 Every month? Again - nearly a £1000 a year. You could knock another card off with this
Haircuts................................ 25 Unless you are into fashion, learn to do trims with scissors or an electric trimmer for the boys (number 1 is good)
Entertainment........................... 35 You need some entertainment. I'm tempted to leave this, but monitor your spending with extremem prejudice. You run out, you dont spend any more.
Holiday................................. 66 Sorry...this gets knocked on the head for now
Emergency fund.......................... 0
toiletries inc feminine ................ 52 ever heard of "moonpads"? I use feminie products, obviously but it doesnt cost me £52 a month! What on earth are you counting here?
tobacco................................. 34 Someone has to give up. That's £360 a year right there. Or, patches are cheaper
household maintenance/furnishings....... 62 No.
takeaways............................... 25 Included in your 'entertainment' budget. Stop this spend.
milkman................................. 39 Walk to the shops and get milk, it's cheaper
misc business charges inc nat ins....... 32
bank charges............................ 68 Ouch! Very first priority is to get this under control
drinks for home (wine and beer)......... 48 No
pet food................................ 60 What are you feeding exactly? I have 3 cats and I spend £30 a month
Total monthly expenses.................. 2490.04


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 250000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 251500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 173356...(557)......3.43
Total secured & HP debts...... 173356....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
loans total of three...........16000.....438.......13.9
barclaycard 1 .................4514......53........10.9
hsbc card......................1186......30........29.9 This one third, with the savings above, you could pay this off quickly
tesco credit card 2............3179......35........0
barclaycard 2 .................4028......85........0
virgin credit card.............1499......39........25.93 And again (second)
nationwide.....................2451......35........15.9
burton store card..............115.......5.........29.9 Pay this first!
tesco credit card 1............2557......50........19.43 (4th)
business barclaycard...........1145......24........14
Total unsecured debts..........36674.....794.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,028.31
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,490.04
Available for debt repayments........... 538.27
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 794
Amount short for making debt repayments. -255.73 Completely unsustainable. You're falling more into debt at the rate of nearly £3000 a year! In 10 years, you'll be £30K and worse.

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 251,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -173,356
Total Unsecured debt.................... -36,674
Net Assets.............................. 41,470

Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

right, i'm ready, give it to me straight. . . .

As straight as I can be. All suggestions/questions/comments offered with your interests at heart and not a person dig.

daysie_2

Hi, thanks, I have not taken any comments to heart.
I have some responses - hope thats ok
Electricity - actually this is Elec/Gas combined, but am not sure how much is going on each - don't know how to get this down, i keep changing whenever Martin says but last time i did it i had a shortfall i needed to pay off. Think the worst culprit might be the tumble dryer, will have to hang stuff out more if its not raining and try to find out what else it is going on. - more suggestions gratefully recieved
Water rates are what they are, don't think you can do anything about this except move? :-)
Mobile Phone, might have to be me then as Hubby uses his for business
Groceries yes, will work on getting this down
clothing - as i say it might not be accurate, but i was using worst case scenario - will keep tabs on it and only buy necessaries
presents - again worst case scenario, i only had 4 months of spending and it was the worst 4 months, going to tackle this one definately can get this down
car maintenance was for 2 vehicles, one for business - and also this last 4 months has been the worst - will keep close eye on this
pet insurance/vets bills - actually we don't have any insurance at all, but we have had some huge emergency vet bills in the last 6 months, and the inoculations all add up. £60 a month does seem a lot but i took an average.
haircuts is just for me, and usually its every 6 weeks rather than every month so i put it in wrong. i cut hubbys hair - not letting him loose on mine!
entertainment - yes will monitor and stamp on impulses - maybe an allowance will help
Holiday - a lot of it is petrol, so perhapas a cheaper car will help, but i have to buy it first. . . .
have to look at holidays at home
Toiletries - do you mean mooncups? yes have heard of them but don't think i could cope with them as i have extremely heavy periods due to fibroids (eg superplus tampon lasts less than half an hour on the worst day - sorry for being graphic), i guess i spend about £12 a month on feminine stuff, the rest is bubble bath, soap, aftershave, razors, face cream, make up, etc etc, so obviously this bit needs looking at to see where it is going and to cut down.
tobacco - hubby only, have tried for 10 years to get him to give up, but its a lost cause, the more i nag the more stubborn he is, don't know what to do about this
household maintenance not sure how accurate this is as we have had a few repairs to do in the last 3 months, but certainly i can reduce it.
takeaways are gone!
milkman - was thinking of knocking this on the head anyway, so will do
bank charges - i try very hard to not get any but when hubbys income is not regular, it becomes a toss up between not paying bills and getting a late payment charge, or paying bills and getting bank charges - wil ltry hard to keep them down, have to get better at juggling i guess?
drinks for home - aarrgh! please can i do this slowly? maybe just one bottle wine a month?
pet food - i have 4 cats and a dog, but 2 cats will be going to my ddaughters soon so that will knock it down a bit, actually she does put money towards some of the food so its probably nearer £45 a month - one of the cats needs special food, so this is not cheap. i have tried buying really cheap food for them but when they don't eat it i end up throwing a lot away as it stinks up the kitchen - any suggestions on how to tempt cats with not much money would be welcome!
Credit cards - I may have some space on some of the cheaper ones, so could look at transferring some balances, would this be advisable in the short term? I know it doesnt get rid of the total but the repayments would be cheaper?
thanks for your suggestions - there is obviously a lot i can do.
First thing i will do is look at the areas you have highlighted and see what i can cut down on just using restraint
then if its a good idea to do so, i will do some transferring of balances.
will let you know how i get on
thanks so much.

pmlindyloo

As you can see from FireWyrm's comments you can make some significant changes here.

Tackle them one at a time.

Electricity (and I'm sorry but I had to chuckle at the comment)

Have you done a check to see you are on the cheapest tariff? Have you checked to see if you are in credit and your DD needs changing (you are paying by DD aren't you?)

So start with electricity. Turn everything off when not in use (do not leave on standby) etc etc

Remember baby steps.

PS 3 adults? £150 a contribution from the 3rd adult. Any chance of raising that?