friendship issue- have we been unreasonable to them? sorry its long

Uniscots97

gary_d_a wrote: »

Gary and Cheryl= us
Mick and Lisa= couple that prompted the thread
James= friend of all of us
Simon and Natalie= My best friend and his fiancee

Wedding's are a nightmare to organise and seating plans are the worst. Especially with a large number of people, you don't want too many of one side sitting with too few from the other, you try to keep a range of ages (to reign in the youngsters) or like our wedding don't invite kids. This caused chaos as I let my matron of honour (my cousin) bring her 3 boys (youngest at that time 13 but very well behaved), one of the guest kicked up hell because her stepson's weren't invited (we had a strict budget and she's not family). We had another full table of people that accepted and didn't show up (8 people all same group, gave same excuse of having to work last minute..... turns out they used wedding as an excuse to drink the night before and were too sozzled to turn up). My OH and I had many rows about who to sit where and who was and wasn't invited.

My advice to you? You've been invited and you have your friend James at your table (which I think is a good thing as it would have been cruel to sit him without people he knew), ok so you're sat with the neighbours..... so what? As I said many people try and have half and half at each table. Have you ever thought the bride doesn't want you near Zoe? Either for your fiancee's sake or Zoe's? You also don't know what Zoe said to Lisa after your split if anything at all, which might mean Lisa has assumed the worst by the fact her friend found someone else VERY quickly and announced she's pregnant.

As for your friend going in the huff when you announced your engagement, have you ever thought he thought your announcement was TOO soon after theirs? I know it was months but they may have been basking in the glory of their happiness. I had this happen to me (same night) as we announced ours and the ****:mad: (insert nasty word) knew we were announcing ours and what the date meant yet stomped all over our (mine and OH's) night and the party that was thrown for us. I know there's a gap with yours but some people are funny like that. As for the medical advice, some people although seem over-bearing with their advice or medical knowledge are just trying to help. I'd see this as Lisa at least trying, maybe not in the best way but trying.

Go to the wedding, if you don't the friendship with Mick is definitely over and in doubt with the others as it'll look like sour grapes if you don't go.

Uniscots97

Meant to ask, who started the nasty jealous remarks? Going back to the Zoe situation (bear in mind you don't know what light she's painted you in), how quickly did you get together with Cheryl after Zoe?

gary_d_a

Hello everyone- thanks for replying

A few replies, I cannot multiquote sorry

Cheryl was someone I started seeing about 8 or 9 months after Zoe disappeared.

Simon and Natalie didnt want an invite, they get married soon too and it will be a much nicer wedding with a lot less ill feeling in the background.

The engagement was 3 months later my friend and his fiancee got engaged about 2 weeks after us and I was thrilled for them, maybe like has been said some people are just that way out, we chose a date that meant a lot to us and the situation around it seemed as good an oppurtunity as any.

They are a bit overbearing, its just what they are like, James dances to their tune a lot more than we do and he gets treated the same way so we try not to take it personally, we try to help with advice where we can too (I have had access to a lot of help/discounts in my old line of work and through my family and friends but always got snubbed by those two)

I'm not supposed to know a lot of what was said, we got badmouthed a lot when we couldnt go round (if Cheryl's family have a get together its a big thing to be expected to go) and James told us we were slated quite heavily for that and what was said, he is the most honest person I have ever met and would trust him with my life (not many people I would say that about) I think at this time Lisa and Cheryl had met once :-/

Well anyway I am going tomorrow, if nothing else I can congratulate them and have a good time, if anyone wants to fall out with me over it then thats their problem, at the end of the day there are a certain number of people that decline wedding invites and make up an excuse (genuine or not) and worst case scenario they might expect us to be like that, they will get a shock when we turn up