friendship issue- have we been unreasonable to them? sorry its long

duchy

It seems that if the groom is your best friend then you don't seem to either spend much time together or communicating (text jokes don't count). As we grow up and pair off -some friendships last and others fall by the wayside-and a lot of it is down to if your chosen partners become friends too -and yours haven't. Probably not anyone's fault -just life.

If you were *that* close to the groom surely you'd have been a groomsman or something ? I think you go to the wedding and enjoy it (no sulking about who is sitting where-it's a subtle thing and hardly important) and treat it as in a way a bit of a farewell to the laddish friendship that didn't last and have a good time .

EDIT Re-read and the groom isn't YOUR best friend -he's a friend of a friend or at best a friend you haven't seen since last summer ? What the heck are you getting your knickers in a twist for ? This is the wedding of a friend of a friend -Go or don't go but it'd be the height of bad manners to just not show up. You said the youngest is about 23 -sounds like the eldest is 23 and a half and a very young one at that. This is immature nonsense-none of you sound old enough to get married TBH.

If you choose not to go-do it for you -and not just as a gesture as 1 It probably won't be noticed with all the wedding fuss and 2 If it was a subtle slight by the bride -you'll be playing into her hands.

delain

My head hurts. Go, or don't go. its up to you whether you can be bothered with them after that. Personally I wouldn't, they sound like a bunch of muppets. I'm going for a lie down

gary_d_a

74jax wrote: »

I've kinda shortened it so I hope that's ok.

So am I right in thinking this wedding is NEXT week? You agreed to go at a considerable cost to the bride and groom and now don't want to go as you are sitting far away from the bride and groom (who you don't see anymore?). Couldn't you have said no to the invite?

They have probably paid £40 per person, and around £20-£25 per person for the night do and you leave it to the last minute to cancel- I have no idea why you seem to think you should be invited just because 130 day guests are going!

Most people don't find out which table they are on until they turn up.

The tables closest tot hem are probably friends and family they see all the time and are close too.

Declining the invite would have lead to world war 3, if they want us to go round and one of us isnt well we get ordered to go and buy whichever medication is deemed relevant and ordered round for a particular time

when we rsvp'd we honestly believed they were just being funny with us at that time and things would improve, plus I suffer from anxiety attacks and borderline depression, so if something happened I would blame myself.

I know all too well how much weddings cost- I am getting married myself in 2 years, hence when buying the present I found the most useful item I could and bought that despite struggling to pay for it because I honestly thought something they would use a lot would be nice for them.

Teenie_D

delain wrote: »

My head hurts. Go, or don't go. its up to you whether you can be bothered with them after that. Personally I wouldn't,[STRIKE] they[/STRIKE] you all sound like a bunch of muppets. I'm going for a lie down

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:LMAO!!!! Corrected it for you :D


They ORDER you to go round !!!!!!! just tell them where to get off, you can't be that friendly with them if you haven't seen them for months, not sure what you are so worried about, you obviously don't have much of a relationship any more.

gary_d_a

duchy wrote: »

It seems that if the groom is your best friend then you don't seem to either spend much time together or communicating (text jokes don't count). As we grow up and pair off -some friendships last and others fall by the wayside-and a lot of it is down to if your chosen partners become friends too -and yours haven't. Probably not anyone's fault -just life.

If you were *that* close to the groom surely you'd have been a groomsman or something ? I think you go to the wedding and enjoy it (no sulking about who is sitting where-it's a subtle thing and hardly important) and treat it as in a way a bit of a farewell to the laddish friendship that didn't last and have a good time .

EDIT Re-read and the groom isn't YOUR best friend -he's a friend of a friend or at best a friend you haven't seen since last summer ? What the heck are you getting your knickers in a twist for ? This is the wedding of a friend of a friend -Go or don't go but it'd be the height of bad manners to just not show up. You said the youngest is about 23 -sounds like the eldest is 23 and a half and a very young one at that. This is immature nonsense-none of you sound old enough to get married TBH.

If you choose not to go-do it for you -and not just as a gesture as 1 It probably won't be noticed with all the wedding fuss and 2 If it was a subtle slight by the bride -you'll be playing into her hands.

the groom was part of a very close group of friends, there were 4 of us that used to hang out every week. Me and James were 2 of the other 3

gary_d_a

Teenie_D wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:LMAO!!!! Corrected it for you :D


They ORDER you to go round !!!!!!! just tell them where to get off, you can't be that friendly with them if you haven't seen them for months, not sure what you are so worried about, you obviously don't have much of a relationship any more.

yep, they order. the number of times she has tried to dispense medical advice to a diabetic (Cheryl) and an ibs and anxiety sufferer (me) is unreal

we stopped getting invites when we stood up for ourselves

74jax

gary_d_a wrote: »

the groom was part of a very close group of friends, there were 4 of us that used to hang out every week. Me and James were 2 of the other 3

Yes in 2008-2009. It's now 2012 and you haven't seen the groom since LAST Summer.

gary_d_a wrote: »

yep, they order. the number of times she has tried to dispense medical advice to a diabetic (Cheryl) and an ibs and anxiety sufferer (me) is unreal

we stopped getting invites when we stood up for ourselves

I think you are a token friend and have been given a token invitation. You accepted and I think it would be the height of bad manners to not turn up. let them know you don't want to attend anymore so they can at least try and fill the places, but don't turn up and be a pain in the ar*e.

gary_d_a

74jax wrote: »

Yes in 2008-2009. It's not 2012 and you haven't seen the groom since LAST Summer.

the meet ups stopped being regular last summer, he stopped speaking to me after missing his blokes day designed for planning the stag do, i had blood tests and diagnostic stuff the next day.

we havent seen eachother since

Caroline73_2

Victory? Is that you?

Errata

Blimey mate, chill out. Go, don't go......the choice is yours!