friendship issue- have we been unreasonable to them? sorry its long

Dave_liverpool

Can you find out if theres an opportunity for a small stag night out, then you could gauge how your friendship is. An ice breaker maybe.

Just a boys only night.

Sambucus_Nigra

Go. Don't go. Eat their food, or don't eat their food. Be nice, or don't be...

Seriously - you don't have to be friends with people who so obviously don't want to be chums with you. Do your own thing and be an individual - not a sheep.

gary_d_a

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

This reads like a soap opera. One that died a protracted death a long time ago and none of the actors have ever been seen again.

Go to the wedding and take advantage of the bonhomie to rekindle your friendships with the men. Think of it as a reboot, a fresh start.

Leave the women out of it entirely as they've done enough damage with their power struggles already. Just focus on your male friends and *you* arrange a boys night out.

Most sensible advice I can imagine. At the end of the day Mick is or was my friend, I want him to be happy at the end of the day, if Lisa doesnt like me, or Cheryl or wants to be an idiot, let her. Firm handshake and a well wish, if it wasnt him I wouldnt have spent Lord knows how much on some stupid kitchen gadget when an electric drill would be infinitely more useful for all that mindless diy he will be bodging till he curls his toes up.

We cant do traditional mens nights out as like I said I have ibs and James is on anti-depressents so neither of us are advised to drink, and 3 seats hidden away for when the lunatic I used to date turns up for the evening so I dont have to fake interest in her :rotfl:

gary_d_a

Caroline73 wrote: »

Victory? Is that you?

nope, am anonomous but have an id elsewhere and I know who she is, definitely not her

I'm male for a start :cool:

duchy

OK ....I think you're reading WAY too much into it-Your mindset is back when you used to be a tight group of friends-but times have changed and now you don't see much of each other anymore.

Take the invitation as a nod to those days and accept that not turning up for the stag thing was the last straw for your inclusion. They probably thought that tests during the day wouldn't impact on you joining in on an evening event ...or that you could have rescheduled. Either way you showed they weren't top of your priority list -which they weren't.

Move on -the friendship with Mick (which wasn't much of a friendship anyway -he was just one of a group and I suspect you feel you've been squeezed out of the group -when you probably haven't -you were just one of the first to find distractions away from "the gang". It's called growing up.

arbroath_lass

gary_d_a wrote: »

I would like to congratulate my friend in person on setting a date, shake his hand and wish him well, obviously not what he wants when he sits in the car.

Or your friend sat in the car because he knew if he came to the door he'd be ages chatting and they had a lot to deliver.

FGS get a grip there is a top table then everyone else it's not a competition. Bad enough trying to sort out which rellie won't sit with "aunty Mary" (name changed, lol) without your friends getting the hump too.

pandora205

I think I prefer Made in Chelsea myself

the_cat

Stop calling them your friends! If you were a proper friend you wouldn't be fabricating stupid non-problems and getting the hump with them over nothing

Unless you are 8 years old

podperson

Sounds like you used to be good friends but have drifted apart - you're both at different stages of your life now, probably have a lot less in common, and the fact that your partners don't get on isn't going to help.
As you're not really close friends anymore (you haven't seen him for nearly a year!) then I don't really see that you have much right to bother about where you're sat at the wedding - and as others have said I doubt the seating plan means as much as you seem to think it does.
In the future if you want to continue the friendship maybe look at meeting Mick on his own and leave the partners out of it. Though tbh I'm not really seeing what you're getting out of the friendship at the moment. You say they are 'nice people' but then in the next sentence that they order you around, dismiss your health problems and show you very little respect, which doesn't really sound that nice to me.

split_second

i spotted this thread while browsing around on my phone at dinner, but replying on a phone isnt the easiest thing and especially not in such a small break room as we have. anyway..........

i think the o.p has/had a lot of time for these people at one point, weddings arent cheap and once a couple has bought a present, new outfits, getting there and back, drinks at the bar its a fair amount of money, or is that me having spent too long on a money saving site?

i think there is more going on behind the scenes than the o.p knows about, the two women have obviously disagreed about something and being best friends with the opposing woman's fiancee is going to do the o.p no favours whatsoever.

maybe the wedding has divided everyone a bit, see how things are when everything calms down, they might really appreciate that you have spent the time to go to their wedding and the old days might come back. at the end of the day all you can do is be the bigger person, enjoy a couple of beers (or whiskys if that was me) and a big plate of buffet, have a fun time with your girl and your mate and if your friend's new wife wants to ruin things then she can feel guilty every time she uses your wedding present haha