friendship issue- have we been unreasonable to them? sorry its long

suki1001

Go to the wedding, be courteous, remember with that many people, they'll be too busy talking to long lost relatives. Keep out of the way and don't get sucked into friendship politics.

Then remember, you don't have to see them again. Don't be offended by the table layout, it often doesn't work by favouritism, usually it's about not offending great Aunty Dolly, so friends go last.

Move on and try and rise above it.

Mrs_Imp

Do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with a seating plan for a wedding? You have so many people who either have to sit next to someone, or can't be sat with someone, or will be offended if they don't sit in a certain place. It's very unlikely that they placed you there in order to offend you. If their families are anything like ours, then you're lucky they managed to squeeze you in to the meal at all.

I suggest that you go to the wedding, congratulate the bride and groom, and have a lovely time. If they invited you because they want you there, then it will help build bridges if you turn up and are polite. IF the seating plan was a snub, which doesn't seem likely, then you being there and having a good time and being so nice to them will backfire on them. So it's a win/win situation for you if you do go.

cef66

Just to put your seating issues into perspective, hubby and I went to his nephew's wedding a few years ago and found out when we went in for the meal that all of his side of the family were sitting in a completely different room to the top table, bride's family and friends for the reception. The bride and groom visited us once during the meal !! Luckily there were quite a few of us and there were lots of jokes around the table. Top that !

cutestkids

I think it is time that you grew up.

They order you about because you let them.

They are not your friends.

You need to get over it.

faerie~spangles

What does it matter which table you are seated at for the meal?

Once that's over and done by people mingle.

Either you want to go to the wedding and celebrate your friends nuptials or you don't.

It is their wedding not an excuse for you to behave like a Diva.

Antimony

A tad complex. I hope I haven't muddled the names. Does Lisa feel 'threatened' by Cheryl (I can't see any evidence, from what you've written, of any long-term arguments between the two women)..?

Lisa has been in Mick's 'background' for some time before they got engaged. She appears to have forced the engagement. You (OP) got engaged to Natalie, apparantly NOT forced.

Are Simon and Natalie invited? (I can't see them on the table seatings). If not, why are they mentioned in first post?

It's weird how you mention 'Zoe' telling lies to you (seems a bit childish), and with her being Lisa's best friend are you implying/thinking she's told Lisa lies about you? OR is Lisa miffed at you for splitting with her best friend and sees (rightly or wrongly) Cheryl as the cause? What is the point of Zoe in this story?

I somewhat agree with 74jax - it appears you have received a 'token' invite because they feel they cannot omit you. It looks like a few random friends of the grooms have been invited to balance out the brides friends. What's the chances of you keeping in touch/socialising after they are married? Slimmer than now I should think. If you've already accepted the invite, then the right thing would be to go - it wouldn't be cricket to just not turn up.

There appears to be a little immaturity here. eg., you mention Mick and Lisa giving medical advice' to yourself and Cheryl - and you 'standing up for yourselves'. From their point, perhaps they are genuinely trying to help (perhaps they've gone to a little trouble researching information for you) and feel that you are ungrateful.

As for the seating - I'd have thought Cheryl would be more comfortable sitting as far away from the bride as possible.

Sorry if the above is a tad jumbled...but my eyes are watering with the sea of names, lol.

Chaos_Monkey

cef66 wrote: »

Just to put your seating issues into perspective, hubby and I went to his nephew's wedding a few years ago and found out when we went in for the meal that all of his side of the family were sitting in a completely different room to the top table, bride's family and friends for the reception. The bride and groom visited us once during the meal !! Luckily there were quite a few of us and there were lots of jokes around the table. Top that !

Sadly, I can!

Went to my brothers wedding, and didn't even have a seat at the reception......couldn't be too offended, neither did my now DH, or one of my cousins! And not a single member of our family was included in the official photos. :mad: :mad: at the time, but quite frankly :rotfl:now!
They're divorced now, fwiw.

Amanda65

gary_d_a wrote: »

The day we got engaged was the happiest day of our lives but still there were nasty jealous remarks from

Nasty, jealous remarks - or concerned friends considering you hadn't been togther for long?

gary_d_a wrote: »

they come round with wedding invites, I would like to congratulate my friend in person on setting a date, shake his hand and wish him well, obviously not what he wants when he sits in the car.

And maybe he thought that he had delivered the wedding invites and you couldn't be bothered to come out of the house to shake his hand and wish him well ?

I'm not saying either of the above are correct, just that different people take different perspectives on conversations and actions and maybe they feel you (and Cheryl) have snubbed them over the past few years. maybe Lisa (is that the bride - sorry if it isn't bit confused) feels that every time they invite you round Cheryl is ill and thinks it's an excuse?

If you want to be friends with these people, please sit down after the wedding and try and clear the air. If you don't want to be friends with them go to the wedding, shake your Mark's hand and then have nothing to do with them - simples !

cef66

wow Chaos Monkey, that does top mine !:T

sweetcheekz

Think yourself lucky you even got invited, what happened to poor Simon and Natalie?