How did you decide on a third Child?

zenmaster

We decided before we got married that our "ideal" family would be 2 girls, 1 boy. There was probably a lot of input from me on this as I'd always wished I had 2 elder sisters.

The 2 girls bit went according to plan but by the time phase 3 came along I was working with a father of twins and thought "damn, I wish I had twins".

Be careful what you wish for because, lo and behold, out popped a BOGOF (both boys).

The 5th child (another girl) was a stressful, yet joyous, accident.

Financially, it's been a bit tight at times but, in all honesty, I would have spent the money anyway, on something more trivial and less enduring.

Savvy_Sue

Our No. 3 is one of life's happy surprises too. :rotfl:

We were thinking about talking about having a 3rd, and then it was too late.

However, I know babies born when parents were using all the standard methods of birth control, so if you really really don't want a 3rd (or any more) then my advice is to double up.

Idiophreak wrote: »

Being blunt, I'd consider:
a) Are you and your partner really awesome enough to warrant having more of you in the next generation

:rotfl: we're not, but I have to say the boys are pretty awesome now they've all almost left home.

Idiophreak wrote: »

b) Are you doing such a fantastic job of parenting your two kids already that you're sure having a third won't be an issue

bearing in mind that each baby is never quite like the ones who have gone before, and are sometimes SUCH hard work that parents swear if this one had come first, there would never have been any more ...

Idiophreak wrote: »

c) Can you afford a third child, even if the government cut CB and all the other tinkering they keep threatening

I think it is possible to over-think this one, although it's worth considering how you're managing atm.

Idiophreak wrote: »

d) Is the house suitable for having another person in it? Will you have enough space?

And e) will you need to replace your car? You definitely will if you already regularly have extra people in it - granny / neighbour's child for example.

Idiophreak wrote: »

I'm probably quite down on the idea after watching Supernanny USA yesterday with the woman who had 10 out of the 12 children she wanted, despite demonstrating little or no ability to handle the ones she already had, or to think of the impact of more children on the existing ones.

:eek: Just :eek:

*Louise*

Have to be honest, we only planned two, and if DS2 had been a girl we would have stopped there but we didn't feel complete (we had already lost a little girl) so tried again and were blessed with our daughter.

Of course it meant buying a bigger house....:eek: but she was worth it (mind you I don't think that when she is having one of her little strops though lol) :rotfl:

*Louise*

Charlie23 wrote: »

We made a sensible, financial decision to stop at 2. Hubby had the snip in september..... i feel awful and desperate for a baby which i can't have.
Even worse hubby feels the same :-(:-(:-(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(
The option being taken away from you really does show how you really feel. Think very carefully, i'm suffering quite a lot of depression (which i will not admit in RL!) because we can't have another child.
sorry to be blunt and i'm sure people would disagree but leaving thr option open would be my ideal.
good luck and enjoy planning your wedding. :-)

That's a shame, I'm sorry to hear that

I know what you mean though, although I shudder at the thought of having any more, I can't bring myself to do anything permanent about it. It's one thing not 'wanting' to, quite another to not be 'able' to

I do think it might help you to be able to talk to someone in RL though, whether it's your hubby or a close friend- it may help you a little if it's not bottled up x

faerie~spangles

I aborted my third child, s/he would have been 21 this May.

The two children I had needed me and I knew I couldn't cope with another child.

*max*

faerie~spangles wrote: »

I aborted my third child, s/he would have been 21 this May.

The two children I had needed me and I knew I couldn't cope with another child.

So not an inappropriately emotionally charged/in your face response to this thread at all then. Great.

faerie~spangles

*max* wrote: »

So not an inappropriately emotionally charged/in your face response to this thread at all then. Great.

I was 14 years married when I aborted the child I was carrying.

Giving birth to another human being and parenting that little person to maturity is a huge responsibility.

Not something that should be taken lightly.

Molly41

Three boys and one girl (who is the second eldest). All happy accidents :T:T:T:T

neneromanova

Thanks for the replies everyone. Loved Idiophreak's reply. Was brilliant

Idiophreak wrote: »

Being blunt, I'd consider:
a) Are you and your partner really awesome enough to warrant having more of you in the next generation
Well I'd would love to say we have the best genes ever in the whole wide world But who doesn't say that :rotfl:
b) Are you doing such a fantastic job of parenting your two kids already that you're sure having a third won't be an issue
My girls are suprisingly easy. Both sleep from half 6pm til 7am the next morning. Are well mannered and happy children. (probably just done myself in for the rest of today now :rotfl:
c) Can you afford a third child, even if the government cut CB and all the other tinkering they keep threatening
OH is on £32k a year, we have a company car where petrol etc is paid for so luckily have like £500 left a month, plus he's due a payrise soon (hopefully, and hopefully to £40k).
d) Is the house suitable for having another person in it? Will you have enough space?
We own a 3 bed house so girls could potentially share and baby have the box room to his/herself

The only thing that is against is we'd have a baby and be starting from the begining again whereas even at 18 months, DD2 is a little miss independant.

I loved being Pregnant and having a newborn. Obviously the sleepless nights we're less desirable. Plus watching them grow into their own person is amazing.

mummyroysof3

our 3rd wasnt planned...i did want 3 just not all in 4years