How did you decide on a third Child?

neneromanova

It's not for a long while yet that OH and myself will be talking properly about this, but how did you decide that you wanted/were ready/could afford a third child?

We're going to talk about it properly after we're married, nearer January time (would like a sep/oct baby) but just want to know what people's thoughts about it were.

Cheers

daisy_darling

We stopped at one child. Jeez, i thought Irish Wolfhounds were a dear hobby until i had a kid.

NBirdy

We didn't! We were perfectly happy to stop at the 2 we had, really didn't want any more and so were extremely shocked to discover that we'll be having a September baby :eek: DH got a vasectomy a week after we found out.

lollipopsarah

We never had that chat, we went on holiday and woops my darling happened.
If you wait until you can afford babies you will never have them.
x

Charlie23

We made a sensible, financial decision to stop at 2. Hubby had the snip in september..... i feel awful and desperate for a baby which i can't have.
Even worse hubby feels the same :-(:-(:-(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(
The option being taken away from you really does show how you really feel. Think very carefully, i'm suffering quite a lot of depression (which i will not admit in RL!) because we can't have another child.
sorry to be blunt and i'm sure people would disagree but leaving thr option open would be my ideal.
good luck and enjoy planning your wedding. :-)

pimento

One is enough.

shegirl

One is enough here too lol and he alone makes my bank balance grumble

whitewing

I already had 1, we agreed on 1 more before we got married, we had the lo and then agreed no more. And recently DH has said he wouldn't mind another, if for example, we won the lottery. We had agreed no more for health reasons for me (pnd for one). I don't imagine we'll win the lottery as we rarely play so I don't see it becoming an issue.

I think children/no children should be thoroughly discussed prior to marriage (albeit there may be reasons why you can't that you couldn't forsee). But I do think the number of children that you want can fluctuate, especially after you've had them!

Idiophreak

Being blunt, I'd consider:
a) Are you and your partner really awesome enough to warrant having more of you in the next generation
b) Are you doing such a fantastic job of parenting your two kids already that you're sure having a third won't be an issue
c) Can you afford a third child, even if the government cut CB and all the other tinkering they keep threatening
d) Is the house suitable for having another person in it? Will you have enough space?

I'm probably quite down on the idea after watching Supernanny USA yesterday with the woman who had 10 out of the 12 children she wanted, despite demonstrating little or no ability to handle the ones she already had, or to think of the impact of more children on the existing ones.

whitewing

I watched that too! And, it transpires, her husband was an alcoholic. She was a caring person, just so intent on her rights to have the family she'd always dreamed of that she wasn't considering deviating from her plans.

Idiophreak

whitewing wrote: »

I watched that too! And, it transpires, her husband was an alcoholic. She was a caring person, just so intent on her rights to have the family she'd always dreamed of that she wasn't considering deviating from her plans.

I think the pair of them had issues tbh - she clearly had some trauma in her past that gave her this idea of having so many kids to love her. He was a drunk and absentee. Neither of them seemed to care enough about their children to *just be normal*. I'm so happy that the next generation of the human gene pool has five times as many of the two of them in it...