My 13 YO daughter has a greedy friend, what would you do?

Molly41

Maybe she is not allowed these sorts of treats at home? Maybe her parents dont give her own money to buy treats ? OP has already stated that her friends help her with bus fares and share their lunches. Maybe she is taking the treats back home to share with her siblings.

jellyhead

liney wrote: »

I could see this as an argument if she had eaten her 'own' things and took the remainder home, but it appears she ate her friends' treats and then took hers home in addition. That's just greedy!

I don't think it's greedy as such, because a greedy child would have eaten as much as possible whereas she saved hers for the following day. It could be that she's just very grasping, cunning and selfish, but there could be some other reason.

Seeing as the others are protective of her she might even have a mild special need that makes her a bit obsessive, or be younger or perhaps a great deal more immature than the others.

liney

jellyhead wrote: »

I don't think it's greedy as such, because a greedy child would have eaten as much as possible whereas she saved hers for the following day. It could be that she's just very grasping, cunning and selfish, but there could be some other reason.

Seeing as the others are protective of her she might even have a mild special need that makes her a bit obsessive, or be younger or perhaps a great deal more immature than the others.

Or she might be manipulative enough to persuade impressionable teenagers to comply with her wishes lest something not very nice happens.

If it was my daughter i'd be talking to her about how the girl reacts when she doesn't get her own way and establish that there isn't any subtle bullying going on.

catch_me_if_you_can

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

And finally, in this litany of horrid childhoods, there can be the parents who treat all their children as an amorphous blob of kid, nobody is allowed individuality, everything is The Children and if it isn't for everyone, it's taken away - in that case, taking the egg and fizz back home could be to share it with the others out of care for her sisters or because she'll never hear the end of it if she doesn't bring something back for them. A more extreme example would be the child offered a trip of a lifetime with a friend, but her not being allowed to go because 'it isn't fair on the others'.

and wow, how much this really hurts!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

catch_me_if_you_can wrote: »

and wow, how much this really hurts!

You aren't my big sister, are you?

jellyhead

liney wrote: »

Or she might be manipulative enough to persuade impressionable teenagers to comply with her wishes lest something not very nice happens.

If it was my daughter i'd be talking to her about how the girl reacts when she doesn't get her own way and establish that there isn't any subtle bullying going on.

Oh yes, that too.

Old_Git

invite her around to your house and show her this thread

gibson123

Thanks everyone, lots of wisdom on these boards. Hope you have all had a lovely Easter and thank you for all the advise.

Spendless

I've recently been going thru something similar with 1 of my 12yo's friends. DS had some friends round and I ordered them a pizza, I asked any flavours you do not like, because I'm going to go with the flavour that they all do, rather than going for a fav of 1 of them. All chipped in with they didn't like mushrooms but were ok with others. except 1 friend who claimed that he only liked pepperoni.

Then came me nipping out for ice-cream again I asked for them to shout out a flavour they disliked so I could avoid it, mint was shouted at me, apart from the same child who claimed that they only liked mint ice-cream and they'd never tried another flavour. I laughed it off told friend's son to live dangerously by trying chocolate ice cream instead and set off to shops. When I returned DH informed me that son's friend had been crying to his mum on his phone and had asked her to get him some mint ice cream and bring it round - she didn't, but then she had seen me at the shops buying mars Ice cream bars- which every child wolfed down!

I was quite shocked too, when I realised this about DS's friend, though I don't think it's about greed. I think it's about manipulating a situation in which they get their own way/control. Now I know to watch out for it myself, I'll take steps to try and nip it in the bud early on. Good Luck with it. xx