Enough is enough - the great declutter

System

No you misunderstand me, I wouldnt dream of chucking her stuff...... thats not on no matter how tempted I am. I wouldnt be happy if she chucked my stuff and I wouldnt dream of doing it to hers but the clutter she imposes on the rest of us gets me mad. As for her room, well the furthest I get into her room is to open the door and chuck her clothes on the bed. If I left them outside the door, they would only get moved when she wanted them. I do her washing..... because she is never in long enough to do it herself.

As for introducing her to ebay..... well she is a horder and I suggested it once but she looked at me as though I had got two heads.

passion8

newlywed wrote: »

Hi, I'm back on this thread as I need some declutter motivation. However our kitchen is fine (small and very tidy because OH is a clean freak ).

Personally we have cutlery set of 8 place settings. We have the stepkids for half the week so need 4 each time and that means one set goes in the dishwasher and the other set is there to be used.

We have a set of 5 pans in different sizes (milk pan upwards) plus two small frying pans. We also have a 3 tier steamer pan (but I don't actually use it ). As for mugs - we have about 20 - we drink lots of tea all day and I hate washing up cups so they all go in the dishwasher too.

So really I think you should work out what you use in a day (if you have a dishwasher) and what you would use if your family came over for a meal and then work to that.

You can always put what you think away in boxes and then if you haven't used them in 6 months you know you are hardly likely to miss them!!

Thanks newlywed

After your mention of dishwashers, I emptied ours, and realised that there were a few things that weren't needed at all.

There was a couple of really deep cereal/soup bowls which don't actually fit between the rungs and use too much dishwasher space, so I've relegated them to the 'to take' box. I've some shallower bowls so no need to purchase new ones, although I've been known to have my cornflakes out of a large coffee mug - I got a few funny look from husband, but it made sense to me

I had a bit of a panic wondering where to put them, as I've no spare boxes yet, so I've commandeered the blue wheelie bin for now, which never gets used anyway; husband takes the papers to work . So I'm free of 4 cereal bowls already, and about 6 cups that had, on closer inspection, hairline cracks. Obviously not dishwasher-friendly.

Working on the basis that the dining table we're having delivered this week only seats 4, I think 6 of everything is ok. Then if the dishwasher's full, we'll still have the 2 spare that we need for everyday use or in case of breakages. (Must remember to try and buy the same pattern and colour (white) - like people do with socks )

Should we ever have more than 4 for a meal, they'll have to bring their tableware - and table :eek: joke by the way, but it got me thinking :eek:

I'd ask to borrow your cleaning freak husband, but as a newlywed I think your need might be greater than mine

Off to sort out the cutlery. There must be at least 4 sets! Then on to the glassware - there's a ridiculous amount that can go into an upstairs cupboard. I'll be able to give Flylady a miss at this rate lol.

Thanks for the link MilliesMum

passion8

Hello MilliesMum

If it's any consolation my daughter was the same, although she'd help with the ironing, for a payment. She'd only buy designer clothes, belts, and bags, and she looked after those. Her wardrobe was chaotic to me, but made sense to her. I'm probably the same: I know where everything is but no-one else would .

Suggesting ebay wouldn't have been an option either as we'd have got that look that only daughters' can give , but she made a few hundred £££'s doing a carboot sale. She wouldn't do one locally though, it was about 20 miles away where no-one knew her. I think you'll understand that one

I soon came to realise that arguing didn't work, so we left it, (although we didn't do as much as you do), and closed the door on it. It was too tiresome trying to make her see sense. She had her own epiphany when she moved out - she's now the most orderly person I know, and buys bargain clothes, but it doesn't seem like your daughter wants to? Can she really not find a cheap place to live, or does she not want to?

Would giving her a larger bedroom, on the understanding that she did a bit more and kept it clean, help her? It looks like 'Tough Love' time.

I can't suggest anything regarding the bathroom problem, it takes me all my time to shift my husband's stuff, but good luck

System

Can she really not find a cheap place to live, or does she not want to?

Would giving her a larger bedroom, on the understanding that she did a bit more and kept it clean, help her? It looks like 'Tough Love' time.

I can't suggest anything regarding the bathroom problem, it takes me all my time to shift my husband's stuff, but good luck

Well i think her priorities at the moment are passing her driving test and buying a car when she has done that (which i must say is admirable). She hasnt got a penny saved towards this new car so I presume she will have to borrow the money for it (or stay at home again until she has saved for it). Which I am afraid will make her even more unable to move out of the family nest. As for a bedroom of her own? Well thats not really an option, unless I can get three boys in the room the size of a postage stamp.

She is a good girl, never caused me or her dad a bit of grief but as I get older I find it hard to stand my ground with her because I cant handle the stress as well as I used to.

passion8

MilliesMum wrote: »

I do her washing..... because she is never in long enough to do it herself.

I've skipped over your last post, as I read again what the other posters' said, especially teedy23's post. I didn't realise we'd both mentioned tough love

So a shorter question. What would your daughter do if you didn't do her washing for example?

System

Heck she goes to peices when we go away for longer than a weekend. I have to give her written instructions on how to use the washer/dryer and she eats takeaways after work.

Mind you, I could use the washing as a bargaining point though couldnt I?:rolleyes:

Thanks for the inspiration, it might just work.

passion8

MilliesMum wrote: »

Heck she goes to peices when we go away for longer than a weekend. I have to give her written instructions on how to use the washer/dryer and she eats takeaways after work.

Mind you, I could use the washing as a bargaining point though couldnt I?:rolleyes:

Thanks for the inspiration, it might just work.

Yesterday I felt overwhelmed, and reading your post, albeit about a different topic, it's possible you feel the same?

If you address each issue seperately, instead of having a major fight about it, maybe it might help in all areas? Like moving small amounts of her clutter until, and if, she does actually miss it?

I'd be surprised if she did, but it's either the tough love option - big headache though - or baby steps.

lindens

luxor4t wrote: »

Very impressed by Nicki's neatly stacked boxes of e-bay items: think it might be worth investing in a set of fold-out storage boxes now that 'free' boxes have become extinct at the supermarket.

This is recycling gone backwards.:mad: supermarkets used to leave out their cardboard boxes for customers to carry home their shopping in, or just nick cos they needed them for a purpose ie moving house etc. That was recycling at its best
Now... supermarkets have to be "seen" to be recycling so when they empty a box of stock onto the shelves, they flatten the box and put it in their recycling bin, it gets taken away and pulped and eventually made into a fold out storage box for us to use to move house etc.
DOH!!!!
I dont mean to hijack this thread and obviously its nobody on here's fault, but does any one else think thats bonkers?????

passion8

lindens wrote: »

I dont mean to hijack this thread and obviously its nobody on here's fault, but does any one else think thats bonkers?????

Just lolling at your rant. It is bonkers, and I'd never given it much thought until now I was tempted to look on the Viking site after seeing nicki's boxes, then I remembered I'm decluttering

They beat the plastic see-through type that I use though.
Updated and on-topic I think lol : I've now reclaimed 2 drawers in the kitchen from clutter I can't tell you how good this decluttering is.

On the downside, there isn't a full set of matching cutlery Is it a mystery, like odd socks?

meanmarie

Millies Mum,

Your daughter has been a good girl I am sure, causing neither you nor her father any worry, but she is now stepping away from that and causing you severe stress.

Step back several steps: stop doing her washing, its her problem; take your time and write out detailed descriptions of how to use all the appliances in the house; use her tioletries if she is not prepared to share the available space; up her housekeeping contribution if she continues to occupy so much of the house space; never go into her bedroom, if the door is open, close it.

I left home at 25 when I got married and had never done anything for myself except when my mother was ill. I could cook, but it has taken me many of the years since to deep down realise that the housework is my responsibility...so give your daughter a break and help her to grow up, she will thank you for it in time, it won't be wonderful until the dust settles but she needs this help

Marie