Smacking. Could you/would you/do you?

elvis86

theoldcynic wrote: »

I find it strange that if you smack an adult it is classed as assault and/or battery.

If you smack an animal it is often classed as animal cruelty.

It can be hard to reason with both animals and adults even in terms of personal safety, but does it justify harming them?

However if you smack a child it is seen as 'discipline'.

Something seems amiss here. I think many children can see it too.

But you're not responsible for raising an adult and teaching them right from wrong. As a parent, you are responsible for raising and disciplining your child. That's the difference, and it's really very simple.

Only the miltant anti-smacking brigade attempt to muddy the waters and vilify reasonable discipline within a loving family environment as some form of child abuse.:cool:

My boyfriend doesn't need a light smack to tell him that running out into the road is wrong, but a 3 year old may well need that to make him realise that mummy isn't messing around.

I can only assume that anyone who was smacked as a child and has haunting memories of it, maybe wasn't parented very well in that and other aspects?

As seems to be common, I was smacked very occasionally when my parents deemed it necessary. But I always knew that I was loved and cherished by my parents, and in retrospect, I understand that they were disciplining me and teaching me right from wrong because they love me.

I can't help but think that anyone whose experience of being smacked has left them "scarred" or "damaged" in some way was possibly disciplined too harshly, or failed by their parents in other ways, for them not to feel the way that a lot of us feel about it.

mishkanorman

elvis86 wrote: »

But you're not responsible for raising an adult and teaching them right from wrong. As a parent, you are responsible for raising and disciplining your child. That's the difference, and it's really very simple.

Only the miltant anti-smacking brigade attempt to muddy the waters and vilify reasonable discipline within a loving family environment as some form of child abuse.:cool:

My boyfriend doesn't need a light smack to tell him that running out into the road is wrong, but a 3 year old may well need that to make him realise that mummy isn't messing around.

I can only assume that anyone who was smacked as a child and has haunting memories of it, maybe wasn't parented very well in that and other aspects?

As seems to be common, I was smacked very occasionally when my parents deemed it necessary. But I always knew that I was loved and cherished by my parents, and in retrospect, I understand that they were disciplining me and teaching me right from wrong because they love me.

I can't help but think that anyone whose experience of being smacked has left them "scarred" or "damaged" in some way was possibly disciplined too harshly, or failed by their parents in other ways, for them not to feel the way that a lot of us feel about it.

okay who are you and what have you done with elvis86 :eek:


Seriously though, it may choke me to say it as you normally post the polar opposite to my views, this is an incredibly sensible way of viewing it :T

bestpud

I don't agree with smacking but did smack my son once that I can recall - he had run across a busy road and I was so panicked and then relieved, I ended up smacking him and telling him to NEVER do it again. I'm sure you can imagine the scene!

Each unto their own but it's not something I want to do to my children.

VitaK

One of the biggest issues is that there are people that dont know there own strength.

Sambucus_Nigra

mishkanorman wrote: »

Mine have smack bums when they get really bad, not without clothes on and they've learnt to bend away from my hand so it doesnt make much contact, but it does give them a short sharp shock that mumma [STRIKE]is meaning business ![/STRIKE] has lost control of the situation and is resorting to violence.

Corrected for you. Ever thought of managing to parent them before they get really bad?

Sambucus_Nigra

theoldcynic wrote: »

I find it strange that if you smack an adult it is classed as assault and/or battery.

If you smack an animal it is often classed as animal cruelty.

It can be hard to reason with both animals and adults even in terms of personal safety, but does it justify harming them?

However if you smack a child it is seen as 'discipline'.

Something seems amiss here. I think many children can see it too.

The same people on here that tell a woman to leave a man when he hits her are also saying it's fine to smack a child.

Something is terribly wrong!

scooby088

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

The same people on here that tell a woman to leave a man when he hits her are also saying it's fine to smack a child.

Something is terribly wrong!

Does somehow reek of double standards..

mishkanorman

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Corrected for you. Ever thought of managing to parent them before they get really bad?

Why do people feel the need to do that ?? can you not have a discussion without resorting to snide comments,

As I already posted, smacking is an absolute last resort, and rarely gets used unless its been really bad ie risk of injury to themselves/others or damaging property etc, not that i need to defend my parenting to anyone other than their father !

jayII

Nope, I would never hit anyone, especially a little person smaller than me.

I have children of my own and have looked after children of various ages, in various situations all my adult life. Many of these children had severe behavoural problems and/or special needs, so plenty of them were verbally and physically aggressive. It is possible to have good discipline and behaviour management without resorting to physical violence. In fact I imagine that hitting these children would have only have taught them how (not!) to behave.

As for hitting my own children??? The thought leaves me cold! I love them to bits so why on earth would I want to cause them physical pain?
They are no more angelic than any other child but they know that no means no. Clear and firm boundaries are all that any child needs, to ensure good behaviour when it matters.

BlueAngelCV

I'm not a parent but if/when I am I can see circumstances in which I might smack my child much as many users have described.

I think that comparing it to domestic abuse is really unnecessary. People are not talking about beating their children and I'm sure that the majority of these "smacks" are very light and don't actually hurt the children, it is the shock more than anything that upsets them and teaches them the lesson.

I'm not advocating smacking but I can certainly see why it is used and I do think that it is an effected parenting method in certain circumstances.

I would certainly never smack someone else's child though and anyone who did that to my child would be getting their own smack. And yes I would advocate violence in those circumstances!