Smacking. Could you/would you/do you?

gingin_2

SailorSam wrote: »

I haven't got any kids myself but often mind my two little nieces and there are times that i'll smack them, not often and only on the hand. But afterwards we'd have a cuddle and say sorry to each other, them for being naughty and me for smacking.

I don't understand why you would apologise. I only apologise if I am in the wrong. If you have smacked more than once then in must be a considered thing, so why would you apologise for it? I don't smack, I use time out but I don't apologise for using it, it's a consequnce of their bad behaviour. Apologising negates the consequence, surely?

cutestkids

All these people who are going on at SailorSam should really mind their own, you do not know what arrangement is in place with her sister or what circumstance dictates that they are in her care so often

heretolearn_2

'We also have the 'counting down from 5 to 1'... he'll always stop doing whatever he's doing that's naughty by the time i get to 2.'

yes I used to do that too and it worked a dream until one day he turned to me at number 3 with a thoughtful look on his face and said 'mum, what would you actually DO when you get to 1?' and I just ummed and aahed and ended up laughing and saying 'I don't know' so that was the end of the countdown working.

Alikay

We occasionally smacked our own children (now 23,21 and 18), although the amount of times decreased with each one as we learned other more effective techniques.We would never smack our foster children and have only ever shouted once or twice.

I don't think it's terrible to smack your own children, I just don't think it's particularly helpful. Sometimes it breaks the cycle when a small child is really kicking off, but in my experience it's never a swift way of resolving conflict.

bluenoseam

If i ever have children i will adopt the same stance my parents did with me, i was warned twice & knew there wouldn't be a third warning before i got my backside warmed. On the whole i rarely got smacked but truth is that when smacking became taboo it allowed some children free reign to go and become little swines. There is NO repercussion for them any more, seriously - no discipline, no respect, no fear of being called out for anything!

CATS

I was smacked as a child and I dont believe it taught me anything.

I have only once ever smacked my son but this was when he first started secondary school, and one day asked me if I had a "problem" with something whilst crossing his arms :eek:
now this was more of a challenge from him, and an I am going to show you that even tho you are as big as me, you cannot disrespect me because I can smack you" response from me.
I had not lost control it was more of I am your mother and you will respect me!!! Needless to say 2 years have passed and it has never crossed his mind to challenge me again.

Outside of this incident I have never touched him and always have ensured that he knows he has done wrong by talking and other forms of punishment. On the occassions when he misbehaves at school a confiscation of the blackberry causes more pain that actually hitting, he will actually cry real tears of pain, no blackberry no social life, the pain, the pain :rotfl:

Firm believer that violence doesn't solve anything, at least not towards my child . Especially as you spend yr whole life making sure that nothing harms them, why would you then cause them pain yourself? doesnt make sense to me

purple.sarah

mishkanorman wrote: »

whats the point in that ? If you are using smacking to curb behaviour or whatever, if you then back down and apologise for it you are sending such a mixed message to the child !

Mine have smack bums when they get really bad, not without clothes on and they've learnt to bend away from my hand so it doesnt make much contact, but it does give them a short sharp shock that mumma is meaning business !

And if my sister or any relative for that matter, took it upon themselves to be hitting my children they would swiftly find themselves out of their lives. To me its an absolute last resort, not a once in a while thing.

Doesn't it make you sad that your children have learned to flinch away from you?

Plushchris

bluenoseam wrote: »

If i ever have children i will adopt the same stance my parents did with me, i was warned twice & knew there wouldn't be a third warning before i got my backside warmed. On the whole i rarely got smacked but truth is that when smacking became taboo it allowed some children free reign to go and become little swines. There is NO repercussion for them any more, seriously - no discipline, no respect, no fear of being called out for anything!

Totally agree with this, I think that kids now think they can get away with anything (looting/rioting for example)

ASBO = Anti Slap Brigade Offspring in my book

I'm 35 and my son is only ten months old, but I'll hold the same stance as above as its pretty much what I had, 2 warnings then a slapped bum. I never had a 3rd warning ever (never wanted to) and can count on one hand the number of slaps I got..

mishkanorman

purple.sarah wrote: »

Doesn't it make you sad that your children have learned to flinch away from you?

No, it rarely happens and I dont beat them. They have learned to listen to when I mean business and they need to stop what ever it is they are doing.

Who wouldnt move away from something coming towards them anyway ?

It does make me sad that people cant understand the difference between 'smacking' children and abusing them !

Sequeena

My son is only 7 months but I remember how I felt when hit as a child. I'll be exploring other methods of discipline.