Only child

Jinx

I have an only child and the only time I questioned it was when she was about five and we were on holiday - an old couple who had been watching us splash around commented what a lovely girl she was and that I should have another 'so she isn't lonely'. They were both in their 80s or so and both only children. Shes now 20 and I didnt have any more but ex hubby did, though theres a huge age gap. Effectively shes an only child - seems fine though lol

Four_leaf_clover_2

cottonhead wrote: »

I am a mum to a 5 year old with no siblings and happen to be an only child myself. Right now we cant afford another baby and even if we could, we are unsure that we want any more. We may in a few years or we may not. Not sure right now.

It seems that other people just dont accept this as being normal and its irritating me now. People at work constantly ask me when we are going to have another one. Even strangers when they find out she is an only child ask me!

Without going into too much detail......... the nurse at my gp remarked - 'oh you are leaving a big gap between your children'

Are there any other parents with just one child out there ??? :wave:

I think some people take far to much interest in other peoples private lives. I can understand you feeling irritated by people commenting on when or if you might extend your family OP.

It is a private decision between a couple as to how many children they decide to have. There may be underlying reasons why having another child is not feasible, health or finance related.

You cant win with this, if you decided to produce a football team, there would be some Jo Blogg who would have issue with you not having stopped at the pc norm. Whatever that now is.

This has been an interesting thread and made me think. Not one of my friends or family members has stopped at one child. Some have two children, others have more, but that is their individual choices just as it should be. When I grew up I had a few friends that were 'only' children and it had no detrimental effect on them at all. Do whatever you feel comfortable with OP.

FatVonD

Mine is an only child, I'd have liked more (initially he was a twin which would have been perfect but I miscarried the other one) but he was conceived via IVF and I suffered OHSS so wouldn't have wanted (or could have afforded!) to try again. If the spare embryos had have been of good enough quality to be frozen I'd have had another though.

When he was younger he wanted a brother or sister (his dad has provided him with a half sister now who he adores and is lovely with!) but if I ask him now he's glad he's an only child as he's old enough to appreciate that he doesn't really want for much materially.

I'm an only child too and though it didn't bother me growing up I do now wish my DS had aunties/uncles/cousins.

hermanmunster_3

I am an only child and hated it. Went through quite a lot to make sure I had more than one child. The two I have have a wonderful relationship with each other. Appreciate that sometimes there are very strong reasons why people CAN'T have a second child but remember it can be very lonely being an only child.

dizziblonde

There's a large age gap between me and my brother (let's just say he wasn't planned as such - they believed they couldn't have any more)... I didn't lose anything from him not being around, if anything, because of the age gap and my parents' subsequent divorce after he arrived - I lost a lot of my childhood having to step up and be a second carer to him really.

Granted my family isn't amazing at "functional" family relationships and my mother likes it in her interest for me and my brother not to be close (she can play siblings off against each other then) - but it's only in recent years that me and my brother have been in semi-regular contact outside of me going to family Xmases etc.

What I did gain from the years as an only child was the ability to BE on my own - I don't flip out if I'm not surrounded by people, I don't need to constantly be surrounded by others - I'm perfectly content with my own company just pottering about if the need arises. I think that's quite a valuable skill to have really in life. I think I'd have lost a lot of that independent and individual streak if I was one of a pair of "the kids" from an early age - rather than having that fairly extended period of time to be my own person to start off with... likewise with my brother - because of the gap he's never had to go through school saddled with being "X's brother" (well it would have been a right job with secondary to do that since we both went to single sex schools anyway)!

Mine will probably be an only child from a mixture of biology and financial circumstances (hard to concieve, hard to stay pregnant and the house we're in is only a 2bedroom house with no way to extend) - if so, I'm not going to sit there and beat myself up about it and get in a guilty tizz, and I'm definitely not going to sit and feel I have to justify it to nosey-parkers who aren't happy unless your family comprises mum, dad, boy, girl and two labradors of different colours.

seven-day-weekend

hermanmunster wrote: »

I am an only child and hated it. Went through quite a lot to make sure I had more than one child. The two I have have a wonderful relationship with each other. Appreciate that sometimes there are very strong reasons why people CAN'T have a second child but remember it can be very lonely being an only child.

My husband would agree with you, my son wouldn't he liked being an only child

alias*alibi

My DD is an only child within my marriage; was always only going to be an only child due to various medical reasons; awful birth and financial reasons; plus age isn't on my side anymore. I have an older brother and I can't stand him. Life as a child was ok but we werent close, he was a pain in the bum; always causing grief and now as an adult Ive cut him out of my life. I would had preferred to had been an only child because in my mind I pretty much am anyway. So I think there are definitive pros and cons to both scenarios.