Only child

cottonhead

I am a mum to a 5 year old with no siblings and happen to be an only child myself. Right now we cant afford another baby and even if we could, we are unsure that we want any more. We may in a few years or we may not. Not sure right now.

It seems that other people just dont accept this as being normal and its irritating me now. People at work constantly ask me when we are going to have another one. Even strangers when they find out she is an only child ask me!

Without going into too much detail......... the nurse at my gp remarked - 'oh you are leaving a big gap between your children'

Are there any other parents with just one child out there ??? :wave:

shegirl

Me!:wave: Just the one who will be 13 next month,won't be having anymore!

Some people are really bizarre about it and wonder why I haven't got any more kids,think there must be something wrong etc.I just find them funny tbh:rotfl:

bargainbetty

I know a few couples with only the one child, and their response has become 'We're doing our bit for the environment - it's easier to have less children than keep driving to the recycling bins.'

Or they tell them to s*d off and mind their own business, which is what I do when people ask why I don't have any at all.

pinkclouds

Hun, in the nicest possible way, you sound like you would have another child if you could afford one. Perhaps other people are picking up on that? If that's not the case, then the only reason I can suggest is that talking about kids falls under "trivial small talk" in much the same way that the weather does. It's not intended to be hurtful, although sometimes it can be because strangers don't actually know the background of the person they are chatting to.

Yes, there are parents of only one child out there. But it's because they planned on having just one child or because they can't have any more kids. When you decide your family is complete (or when the decision is taken out of your hands) then you'll know. An only child is a much loved child. No need to be defensive about it.

cottonhead

Maybe I get annoyed because I see it as a criticism. I sometimes have a little voice telling me I should give our child a sibling. However I know thats a silly thought - I am an only child and very happy that way. My husband has 3 siblings and they dont get on that well. Both my parents have siblings and hardly see them so there is nothing to say they would be best of pals anyway.

SailorSam

I wish i had been an only child, my Sister is a pain in the bum.

beedeedee

I was an only and our son is too. We both had a lovely "growing up" (he keeps on telling us this)! with lots of laughter involved.
When I hear the screeching and yelling going on in some families, I'm so glad we deliberately stopped at one child.

Cherry_Bomb

I used to get this a lot. Whenever I'm asked I now say I don't actually like children that much so why inflict another on myself.
The conversation usually stops there.

cottonhead

Hi pinkclouds thanks for your feedback. I dont think I am being defensive, I just find it a little intrusive that people find it OK to comment in the way they do. Its not just asking but pulling a funny face and commenting that its unusual - in a funny tone.
If we could afford a child right now ( actually we could in about 6 months ) - no I would not have one and I dont want one now- I know that 100%, its due to medical reasons. Perhaps in the future but Im thinking by then I might want to move on with other areas of my life.
I just get upset with the constant questions in the workplace.

sassyblue

cottonhead, l'm a mum of one :wave: not solely by choice, l'd have had another if life had allowed it, but l don't waste time being bothered about it, l've got one and that's more than some unlucky people get.

Are you sure it's not just people trying to make conversation? Families come in all shapes and sizes, they've got to be daft if they don't know that.

Abbafan1972

I am an only child myself, my Mom lost 2 babies after having me and then couldn't have any more, so It wasn't by choice I guess! I have 14 cousins and I am the only one who is an "only child".

I have 2 kids (girls), simply because I didn't want them to be an only child themselves and when I was growing up I found it lonely and wanted a sibling, so we could look out for each other. Also when you grow up and have kids yourself, it would have been nice for my girls to have more cousins (my DH has a brother and he has 2 kids, but they are much older so we never see them).

But, I would never dream of asking parents of one child when they're going to have another one, as I feel it's quite a private subject and with some parents it might be a medical reason why they just have one child or, none at all.

For example, I have a friend who went through the menopause in her 20's and therefore had to go through egg donation in order to have a child and her son is lovely too. But she won't be able to have any more.

I do dread though when my parents become elderly and it will be down to me and me only to take care of them!