Only child

SandC

Some people feel the need to comment on other people's choices or situation just because they are different to their own.

Mind you, I have heard a friend say that to only have one child is 'not fair'. But that's the same one who expressed surprise that I was feeling really festive last Xmas cos (in her words) 'but you haven't got children'.

My nephew is an only child and loves that he can be with his cousins or his mates then go home to peace and quiet.

To an extent people will always wonder at what they don't have and what it would be like. But you can't actually miss something you never had. Tis nobody's business but yours.

TheConways

I'm an only child - i used to get asked if i would like a brother or sister when i was little, i learnt to say that i was enough for mum to manage!

Not sure if i would have wanted a brother or sister - i always liked being able to choose who i was friends with, and whom i played with.

Idiophreak

I'm yet to have children, but have always assumed I'd have at least two. Horrible as it sounds, I think this is fundamentally to do with "having a spare", so I'm not sure I'd be happy with just a single child. Does that make me a total freak?

4nnabella

I have an eight-week old girl and I can honestly say that I have no intention of having another. I know a lot of new, first-time mums say 'never again' only to be pregnant again in a seemingly short space of time but I really don't think I could do this again! I had a great pregnancy, labour and birth was fine but I just don't feel the need to do it all over again. A few people have reacted a bit oddly when I've said this over the past few weeks, normally with a 'oh I'm sure you'll change your mind soon enough' look and comment but I just don't get how people cope with more than one child and I really don't think I could!

SandC

Idiophreak wrote: »

I'm yet to have children, but have always assumed I'd have at least two. Horrible as it sounds, I think this is fundamentally to do with "having a spare", so I'm not sure I'd be happy with just a single child. Does that make me a total freak?

Not at all. Your own reasons for whatever you wish to do are perfectly valid.

Just don't go around telling people with only children that they could really do with having a 'spare'. :rotfl:

j.e.j.

Yes it seems to be a given that people (and women especially) 'must' want more than one child. There can be social stigma attached to being an only child, but tbh I can't see what the problem is myself.

seafarers_wife

I don't want anymore than 1. DH and I both agreed before we got pregnant that there would only be one and this is due to us being selfish, we both want to give B t(3 months old) the lifestyle we had growing up, and financially whilst we can afford another couple of kids we need to plan for our futures and pensions and can't afford both.

seven-day-weekend

cottonhead wrote: »

I am a mum to a 5 year old with no siblings and happen to be an only child myself. Right now we cant afford another baby and even if we could, we are unsure that we want any more. We may in a few years or we may not. Not sure right now.

It seems that other people just dont accept this as being normal and its irritating me now. People at work constantly ask me when we are going to have another one. Even strangers when they find out she is an only child ask me!

Without going into too much detail......... the nurse at my gp remarked - 'oh you are leaving a big gap between your children'

Are there any other parents with just one child out there ??? :wave:

One who is now 32.

My husband is an only child and I had two sisters who were in their late teens when i was born, so I felt like an only child.

One thing I will say....we have just given our son a sizeable deposit for his first flat. We could not have done this if we'd had more than one child and he would not have been able to have got his own deposit as he only has a small wage.

SandC

seafarers_wife wrote: »

I don't want anymore than 1. DH and I both agreed before we got pregnant that there would only be one and this is due to us being selfish, we both want to give B t(3 months old) the lifestyle we had growing up, and financially whilst we can afford another couple of kids we need to plan for our futures and pensions and can't afford both.

I don't think it's selfish at all.

fluffnutter

Tell the rude, nosey gits that you had to have your womb removed in the most difficult labour that the obstetrician had ever seen. Then watch them squirm in embarrassment about prying into something so potentially sensitive.