Only child

Lifes_Grand_Plan

What a refreshing change from the OP to consider whether she can afford a child before just going ahead and having one anyway... Far too many people today don't care and just pop kids out and expect the government / tax payer to pay for them.

Far too many people today love to interfere in the business of others and put pressure on them to conform to some ideal, an ideal of someone else....

I was with my wife for 11 years before we got married and everyone was always asking "when are you getting married" and after that it was "when are you having a kid" (we are due in July but that was our choice) and I dare say after that it will be "when are you having the second"....

Having one child just means you can spoil it rotten and give it 100% of your love, rather than having two and splitting your love 50% each or having 3 and splitting it 33% each... Also means you can use your money on that one child and take it on days our / holidays etc that might be unaffordable if you have two or three....

Uniscots97

I only ever wanted one (didn't want to be greedy). OH has 2 from a previous relationship (both grown up), we would probably have had ours by now if his kids hadn't caused various problems and then various redundancies (the last, mine a few days ago). So hopefully when it does happen for us (I'm 36), he or she will be much loved.

balletshoes

cottonhead wrote: »

Are there any other parents with just one child out there ??? :wave:

me - through choice.

CATS

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

I used to get this a lot. Whenever I'm asked I now say I don't actually like children that much so why inflict another on myself.
The conversation usually stops there.

:rotfl:am the same, I have an only child who will be 13 this year, and I dont like children very much.

I also get the same rubbish from everyone, "when are you having another one" "you should give him a brother or sister" blah, blah, blah. I have been called selfish, which does annoy me.:mad:

I say, a) I dont like kids, I just about tolerate the one I have (which is not true) I love him to bits but def dont want another one.
b) I prefer cats, he has 2 and a bunny that is enough kids. That shuts them up quickly

jakes-mum

I had just the one for 5 1/2 years, perfectly happy with just him, told everyone who nosied about a sibling 'dont want anymore, horrible birth, hapy as we are' then it was DS that asked . . and asked . . and asked. Finally blew my top and said 'why do you want me to have another baby? you'd have to share me and daddy' to which he replied 'I dont want to be on my own anymore'

He was the only person capable of changing my mind, we sat and did the figures, did we have space, did WE want to go through the nappies etc and, well, shes 4 now and I wouldnt be without her for anything.

I was the youngest of 3 myself and though we did fight like cat and dog at times I get on very well with my siblings (they hate each other though ) and selfishly, I like the thought that when my parents die, I will have someone there to share the pain with IYSWIM, who understands, as its their parents too? Im also pleased that DS will also have someone to go through it with too

Every child is different as is every parent and what one child/parent wants, others dont. If DS hadnt given such a heartfelt response he would still have been an only child, and i'd have been perfectly happy with that, but as soon as we sat down and discussed it and made our decision, she was completely wanted (I know that sounds totally rediculous, but its how it was )

jane130

I'm not strictly an only child but I was my fathers only child - I have to say the day we cremated him was the loneliest day of my life

but that said I would never question anyone's decision how may children to have or not to have !

Desperado99

jane130 wrote: »

I'm not strictly an only child but I was my fathers only child - I have to say the day we cremated him was the loneliest day of my life

but that said I would never question anyone's decision how may children to have or not to have !

I know what you mean.... both my parents were only children, and I saw the pain they went through when their parents died. Also, having my siblings helped me when my mum died. It is the only worry I have over DD, that when we're gone she may be on her own.

Georgia_Pa

I am an only child and the truth is I wish I had a brother or a sister I could do things brothers and sisters do. Course I lost my mum at a young age, I think she was planning a big family.
I say go with your heart! No-one should tell you whats right and whats not!

Good luck in making the right decision.

SkintGypsy

We have two, one of each. I wouldn't ever say never, but I do think that a third child would change our lifestyle from being one that we are comfortable to being one that is stretched. A third set of childcare costs instead of overpaying the mortgage/pensions. It isnt in my plan. With the youngest starting to become more independant, and knowing from experience how much more freedom we will have, I wouldn't want to go back to the start.

Threebabes

Ive got 3 kids, 1 sounds like a dream. No bickering and fighting.