One of my sons went to prison today... I'm sad but I'm glad

robster1964

:question:
He's my youngest boy. Brought up exactly the same as his sisters, brothers.... Around 11 he changed from the most adorable caring boy, into someone we didn't recognise. Angry, violent, destructive, no respect. We did our utmost to help & understand etc etc

We got him his own house when he was 16, and his dad provided him with loads of opportunities to work, but he chose to spend his time with people who smoked weed and didn't work.

He met a girl and they had a baby.... But the relationship is so aggressive and dysfunctional that it's impossible for us to se our grandchild and my boy is driven crazy by his now ex girlfriends efforts to keep him away from their daughter... Although I can't blame her, some of the stuff that has gone on... Saying that, she is as outrageous as him, some of the stuff that girl has done, is disgustingly cruel and vengeful.

He's in prison for not taking care of something, he should have done community service for. He ignored it and went up in front of a judge 6 times...

I am glad that they have laid the law down on him, they should not have given him 6 chances.. But I am sad that, he has turned out so different from all my other kids and I feel I must have failed him in some way..

Rant over.... Just expressing my thoughts..
Thanks for listening.
Robster x

ska_lover

Sorry for your problems Robster. Hopefully it will be the shock he needs hey

koalamummy

Robster there is only so much you can teach your children and do for for them. At some point the true individual, with all of their strengths, and weaknesses will emerge no matter what. If you are happy with the effort you expended as a parent, and know that you could not have done any more then unfortunately you may have to accept that this is simply who and what your boy chooses to be, and you can no more influence it than you can tomorrows weather.

junior_j

Lobster.

You haven't failed your son (from what you have said)

Some kids are just different from their siblings. My auntie has 4 children , eldest was a drama queen , second eldest was like your son very lovely till he hit teens. By the time he was 20 he was in prison..3rd child , very intelligiant , well spoken , thoughtful..youngest a general toe rag. All brought up the same , with the same rules and rights and equal love and attention... What I am trying to say is it would be hard to find siblings equally as lovely or equally as aggressive ect as the other.

Maybe this will be the wake up call he needs. Big hugs. x

prosaver

dont give up on him....you can still change his life ...in prison people can think alot and change
maybe if he was born now, he might have been diagnosed with autism or Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) refer to a range of problem behaviours associated with ...something like that

robster1964

ska_lover wrote: »

Sorry for your problems Robster. Hopefully it will be the shock he needs hey

Lol, I hope... However, he is a very aggressive, big scary, muscular guy... He has never been in prison before, but when he rang me, he said mother, don't worry, I've already got people eating out of my hand....there's the weak and there's a few bullies... And I'm taking care of the bullies...

prosaver

well at least hes a good lad and taking care of the bullies
...i hate bullies too...
maybe you havent done a bad job after all.

robster1964

Guys, thanks so much for your comments, I appreciate it.

My boy, started with a group that smoked weed when he was around 11... He has always smoked it since then.

My other boys( and girls!) do smokeu it in varying amounts. ( but I have not seen anything untoward with them)

I believe that in some people it creates psychotic tendencies... That's r J".. IMHO .

A few yrs ago I went to Amsterdam and decided to try drugs, cos I wondered what was so good about it ..

I went into a coffee shop, ordered a coffee and the weakest pre rolled cigarette.... I was totally out of it, hallucinating and in a different world for a couple of hours....

It remains to this day the worst moments of my life, something," I will never do again...

Why would someone do that to theirselves? Losing control? I will never understand?

robster1964

prosaver wrote: »

well at least hes a good lad and taking care of the bullies
...i hate bullies too...
maybe you havent done a bad job after all.

He is love, but, in prison I don't think he will be too hard.. I worry he may get beat up:(

My boy, does have his little things.

For instance we have a disabled daughter, who can hardly walk...
My boy will not let anyone say anything against her.....

Not onei thing

Even I say stuff about her, cos she's a witch sometime....... But r J no x

robster1964

:eek::eek:
What?

koalamummy wrote: »

It is absolutely recognised as a problem here. Our nain problem is that there is no proveable sustainable therapy besides abstinance in our country right now

koalamummy

sorry Robster I still am trying to work that one out....it was a message sent to an old uni friend almost a year ago!!!