I think my 3 yr old nephew may be autistic...

andrealm

Tricky one. Not everywhere does the two year check and even if they do, he might have had it when he'd just turned two and at that age they might not have picked up on anything then. I wouldn't rely on the nursery picking up on it either, as tbh if a child is well behaved isn't causing them any problems, some of them won't notice and they may not know much about autism. My dd1 has Aspergers and the nursery she went to never noticed anything, apart from her toilet training problems, but they just blamed us for that. It was the HV that picked up on it, when we were concerned about her toilet training.

Are his parents not getting concerned about his lack of speech?

Taking all those things together, it does sound as if you are right to be concerned.

Judith_W

Any chance you could pop into the nursery and express your concerns. They won't give you feedback but it will prompt them to check up on him more.

shegirl

Any eye contact?
Does he point?
Any repetative behaviour?
Any sign of being firmly set in routines of things?

It's possible but it may not be.Could be anything.

I'd find it hard to believe that nobody else has picked up on anything,so would imagine they have -at least with lack of speech.

Talk to her about development etc but don't go scaring her with suggestions of autism!Not only do you have no idea if there is any autism but suggestions like that tend to bring out defence!

londonsurrey

In the meantime, you can play games with a mirror, to alleviate the eye contact thing. Regardless of the child's official condition, it ought to be a helpful exercise to widen its repertoire.

Absinthe_2

If he attends pre-school, they should have picked up on it there, as would the health visitor during his annual checks.

Best to get help now, so he can get all the necessary one-to-one (extra personal care) in place before school. Believe me, as speak from personal experience, will help him loads. Its so easy to fall into the trap of going with the flow, with this sort of thing, but the indications are there, and make a tremendous difference. I speak from personal experience, although (myself) was in denial initially. I've seen the difference it has made for me, and am so grateful that I had the support early (at pre-school).

Victoriahl

Thanks everyone for your helpful replies- it's good to get an insight into what other people views are on this.

He goes to nursery 4 mornings a week, but as some people have said, if he's just playing on his own and not really being a nuisance then nothing might have been said.

The other problem is that I don't think my niece would really have a clue if they DID say something subtley to her- she's nearly 24 but more like a 16 year old in her attitude. She's never had a job etc and just stays in the house every day as she can't drive either. And living in a very isolated rural area, this impedes any kind of socialising she does with her son. All of this obviously doesn't help his development.

When she was 11 she was tested for dyslexia and other things and they told her mother that she was on the intellectual level for a 7 year old, but rather than accepting any additional after school help etc her mother got really stroppy and took the attitude "how dare they criticise my daughter", which is definitely how she would react if I was even to mention that the little boy isn't talking as well as he should be...

It's a tricky one, but thanks again for the advice- I was just wondering if all of the signs I mentioned about the lack of eye contact, the lack of expression or abscence of any independent speech were definite red flags for anything like autism.

I do try and get him playing with my son as much as possible- but as she can't drive it's always the grandmother who has to meet us anywhere so it's limited to weekends really

building_with_lego

You may be able to ring the SENCO officer of the preschool for a chat- they are trained to look out for potential problems and refer the child on to the appropriate help. (You wouldn't necessarily need to talk about any specific child, just the symptoms.) Our preschool referred several children in my DS's year group to the speech therapist and a few to a educational psychologist, and they did this on the basis that it's likely to be easier to sort out problems the earlier they're caught.

I can't for the life of me work out how to deal with his mother though

GreenQueen

Are you sure that your neice isn't aware (and possibly dealing with) issues that her son may have, but you don't know about it? Just thinking if you don't feel able to bring it up with her, perhaps it's something she feels uncomfortable sharing with you?

GQ

Victoriahl

That's what I'm thinking- if it's delayed speech, or something more serious like autism, then surely the quicker he gets some help, the better?

There's just no way I'd be able to raise this with my niece though- it's kind of like she's babysitting her little brother during the day until her mother gets home from work at night- I just can't see her being very pro-active in doing anything about it. Sad but true I'm afraid.

I'd speak to the nursery, but surely they'd tell the family I'd spoken to them? I don't want to cause some kind of rift by interfering, but on the other hand, I don't want to keep standing by if getting him some help will be the best thing?

Or is it better to see how he is when he goes into preschool in September, surely things might be picked up then, or hopefully he might have 'caught up' in his development and I won't have been the 'bad guy' in pointing it out in the first place...?

Victoriahl

GreenQueen wrote: »

Are you sure that your neice isn't aware (and possibly dealing with) issues that her son may have, but you don't know about it? Just thinking if you don't feel able to bring it up with her, perhaps it's something she feels uncomfortable sharing with you?

GQ

I honestly don't think she would realise- she seems to think I've got a problem with my son because he's too noisy ie, he's just an average boistrous five year old, but because her son is so quiet and reserved, she's always wondering how I cope with him...