Male friends 'flocking' when they see you're newly single..

londonsurrey

princeofpounds wrote: »

I found the OP's post pretty unattractive in attitude to be honest.

Presumably a number of these men are attracted to you. And whilst you were in a relationship they were keeping a respectful distance. And now they are signalling their availability by being more attentive now you are free. Because if they wait, then someone else might catch your eye first.

If a guy just saw you as an opportunity to hop into bed I don't think that they would wait until your ex became an ex, would they? I suppose some might be taking advantage, but I suspect you will find that most are simply trying to get a point across before they lose the opportunity.

You might find it frustrating but frankly I think you are taking much of it for granted.

Variations of the OP's experience have happened to me, and I do remember being genuinely bewildered/bemused/grossed out (depended on the chaps and circumstances, lol). It was a very kind older friend who talked me through seeing the overall picture, so I don't think the OP is so much putting on an artificial attitude, as being laughingly bemused.

serious_saver

Watch 'How I Met Your Mother - Series 5 episode 10' 'The Window'

littlerat

serious_saver wrote: »

Watch 'How I Met Your Mother - Series 5 episode 10' 'The Window'

I was thinking of that episode too :j

shegirl

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

That's what I was going to say. They don't want to miss the window of opportunity.

And maybe some of them are just being nice? I don't know what services are being offered (I pictured putting up shelves, taking stuff to the dump, etc) but maybe a male friend who has seen you with a "bad 'un" for a while doesn't want you to feel that you need a man in your life (even if that means going back to ex or putting up with another "bad 'un") because life would be easier if you had one. Maybe they are just offering to help out. Obviously if it's other <ahem> services then I take that bit back!

But also I do agree, to some extent, with the chick-flick comment. We often see in films or TV programmes that the girl (or guy) realises that they are with the wrong guy (or girl) and falls straight into the arms of the right one. Not convinced that's how it happens in real life, but maybe that's what some people have come to expect.

God,any man who knows me knows not to offer that kind of service!!!...independent woman me!Built my own fence (in heels),lay my own carpets and laminate,build my own furniture etc etc :rotfl: A lot of men seem to dislike that tbh

There have been <ahem> services as you put it:p

I don't know,it's all been weird,flattering but weird and it's done me some good That's all that matters really isn't it!

shegirl

londonsurrey wrote: »

Variations of the OP's experience have happened to me, and I do remember being genuinely bewildered/bemused/grossed out (depended on the chaps and circumstances, lol). It was a very kind older friend who talked me through seeing the overall picture, so I don't think the OP is so much putting on an artificial attitude, as being laughingly bemused.

That's exactly it

Gloomendoom

How do they all know that you are 'available'?

shegirl

Gloomendoom wrote: »

How do they all know that you are 'available'?

That evil thing known as facebook along with friends talking

foreign_correspondent

yes, it happens - it's all part of the natural balance of life!

Make the most of it whilst it lasts, it's good for the ego, and makes you realise that there are a lot of options out there! ;-)

benb76

I can confirm that similar stuff does happen to newly singled men as well. When I broke up with my long term girlfriend a couple of years ago, I found a fair few of my female friends and work colleagues thought that because I was now single, I would automatically fancy them or their single friends.

shegirl

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

yes, it happens - it's all part of the natural balance of life!

Make the most of it whilst it lasts, it's good for the ego, and makes you realise that there are a lot of options out there! ;-)

Oh I will Nothing wrong with enjoying (or laughing at) a bit of attention..reminds me I'm still seen as a woman rather than just being seen as the mum and carer (which is how I've felt for a while since I had to stop working for ds -hopefully he'll be in school full time at some point so I can fully get back to being me!!).

Lots of options,yep!! Not going for anything though,it's way too soon,and I've never been that fussed!Time to be me and enjoy life as it is I think

I'm feeling very good today,upsetting to realise love drained you but it's made me feel bloody fantastic:D I've even started a huge clearout of the house,planned a new wardrobe for when I can go shopping lol and can't wait to find the perfect house to move to and have everything fresh and happy (well as much as it can be with ds:rotfl:)