Buffy starts a new chapter...........

[Deleted User]

Good to have you back!!!

I want to buy a house aswell but I have quickly realised that when I do finish paying all of my debt on the 1st December 2012 I will still have to save for years oh well ho hum - just need to get on with it eh.

Best of luck

Dxxx

gothrockchic1

snailmail wrote: »

thank you! i wouldn't have thought to look in there! i've been trying to remember where I found threads (thus loosing them!)

now I won't lose buffy's diary!

No bother took me a while to work it out x

dangers

Hello Buffy. Happy new diary. :T:T:T

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks for the messages guys, it is good to have some space here again. chev is correct when she says all the stress is everywhere!

Been a !!!!ing rough week. last week I sent a letter - you know the letter you write but don't send. Well I sent it. to the ex, who although is I believe genuinely lovely having him around complicates my life and makes things difficult. I feel like I am cheating on him if I look elsewhere and actually haven't looked anywhere really, not been on a date or fancied anyone in years as he is or rather was always there clouding my vision..... It needed to be done. at times it feels awful but at other times it feels very freeing.

aside from that other stuff has been happening with Mum. she is ill. There are tests. It is scary. I don't want to write about it to be honest or think about it.

The only reason why I am is because it is a significant pointer in my deciding to stay at work for another year. I am also staying because, I want to finish my MA and the Tefl course. I don't feel confident enough to go find a new job and really I want stability. Too many things are out of my control at the moment.
I just want to have enough money to save up and get a house.

I am so positive that if I get my !!!! together I can manage the work load and be happy there. I do love the kids and although I moan extensively there is much I enjoy there. I have had some good lessons this week which have helped to manage other things happening. I want more fun rather than the challenge of a new job. A friend asked tonight what I wanted to do and to be honest I don't know, previously I have felt lucky that I already do my dream job. Never wanted to do anything else! And whilst I could do it else where, I don't want to, not yet. I am sure I will know one day!

In money news..............hmmmm Actually not bad. Paid off vet bill and petrol. have cash in purse and have done my shopping.

Also been on the surveys which is a start.

To be honest I am not really concentrating on anything. My friend's partner is seriously ill. all I can think about is her. how brave she is and how much I wish I and our other friends could be with her. And how much I am praying that he gets better. Please please please LIVE.

If you are religious please pray for my friend's partner Rob. He is lovely and has made her so happy. And if you aren't religious? pray anyway please send vibes, love.... all needed.

thanks

Love Buffy
xxx



So

dangers

I totally echo what you say for Rob. Xxx

urg123

Buffy - sounds like there is so much going on in your life. Of course you are worried. You are such a caring person.

Sending positive vibes for you, your mum and Rob.

urg x x

Souk08

Vibing away for Rob and your Mum. X

chevalier

hey buffy hope that the tests for your mum are less scary than you thought. And of course that Rob gets better,.

well done on paying the vets bill off that is ace. And it is always a confidence booster to do good work.
chev

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello folks,

I haven't been round these parts(my dairy) for a while. I didn't want to come back till i had some good news re Mum. she in herself is ok but the last lot of tests don't happen till the middle of April and as this my Easter Holiday I wanted to make some plans and where else would I put my plans but here!

Life is basically........well it depends, it is kinda crappy. Work was grim but that is not unusual these days! Mum being ill = horrible obviously. House is a mess as we have puppies (not the best plan ever either but there we go!!) and had move furniture and sort out crap.....*looks round at pile of crap* Also the ex never responded to the letter (I didn't expect him too but still a bit of blow) and i miss him. Oh and the Tefl course I was going to finish this holiday expired!!!


Having said all that, Life has the potiential to be good.

1. Work - well I can handle it. same crap to manage, but I can do it.

2. Mum - well we won't know the results for a while and till then all I can do is try and keep the house tidy and minimise stress. not easy but possible.

3. House, well i have two weeks off and they could change my life to some extent. I KNOW that sounds nuts but I just have to keep decluttering and throwing stuff out, by the end of the holiday I could have a nice clean tidy house. less stress all round.

4. the ex files. well it hurts but it has hurt for ages and it would be SO good to meet someone and have some fun. I am on two dating websites and am having a good time chatting.

5. The Tefl course can be renewed. expensive and maybe not worth it but not the end of the world.


SO yes life is !!!! but problems can be solved.

and now I am going to clean out some of my various small furries creatures.

xxx

Northern_Lassy

Hello Buffy, how lovely to 'see' you back x
I just wanted to say that your house buying diary inspired me to get my act together and we have had an offer accepted on a lovely house by the sunny Lancashire riviera! There is a long way to go yet but the mortgage is in place so fingers crossed x
You made me be brave and stop making excuses and finding reasons not to move on. So thankyou Buffy, and I really mean that xxx