Why do people start arguments?

LisaB85

heretolearn wrote: »

oh dear, I could start an argument in an empty room if I'm in that mood

I hope I'm not a moaner though, I just enjoy a bit of a 'debate' sometimes. Disagreeing with someone isn't the same as arguing in a nasty way - I'm not screaming and shouting (well, not often lol).

It would be boring if we all thought the same things all the time. Do you pretend to agree with other people all the time, even if you don't actually agree with them?

I do enjoy winding OH up a bit, he's so sensible and even tempered all the time it drives me a bit nuts, I like to see him drop the saintly halo now and then .

I'll admit to taking the mick out of him for his Eastenders addiction but secretly enjoying watching it sometimes...:rotfl:

All part of lifes rich rollercoaster of living with me.

My son is the same. We are happy sitting for HOURS debating round things. We're not being angry with each other, it's an interesting conversation to us. Other people might see it as an argument?

Oh I enjoy the odd debate and don't always agree with every thing people say but I like to debate or talk about it. You can usually tell if someone is having a debate or arguing.

This case was different, she was trying to be vicious without listening to what I had to say or sit talking about it as she does do often, usually en-companies her screaming

shellsuit

If your Mum can't have a moan under her own roof, where can she?

She's good enough to let you live there, watch her TV and sit on her sofa, but you still see fit to moan about on here about her all the time.

A bit of pot, kettle black, don't you think?

LisaB85

shellsuit wrote: »

If your Mum can't have a moan under her own roof, where can she?

She's good enough to let you live there, watch her TV and sit on her sofa, but you still see fit to moan about on here about her all the time.

A bit of pot, kettle black, don't you think?

Bit of an exaggeration though, and it isn't just at home it is 24/7 where ever she is plus I pay to live here

Mrs.W_2

Introduce your Mother to online forums. She could spout whatever she liked, argue to her heart's content. Who knows, some people might actually agree with her.

LisaB85

Mrs.W wrote: »

Introduce your Mother to online forums. She could spout whatever she liked, argue to her heart's content. Who knows, some people might actually agree with her.

I did think about it, ok everyone moans but when every word is negative it isn't healthy for anyone.

Do you think mse would be suitable?

marywooyeah

desert_rose wrote: »

Have in-laws who constantly moan about everyone especially those who've married into the family.

It used to cause no end of arguments until gradually, one by one, we stopped going around to theirs as each of us sent our respective partners off to visit but quietly yet firmly, declined any invitations to go with them.

yup sounds like my husband's family! I don't go to any of their events anymore and told them it was because I was tired of feeling uncomfortable with all the negativity and two-faced conversations going on.

Jojo I agree that your friend should seek help she's clearly been suffering for a long time with grief and it's unfair on those children to put that pedestal there. However, long term grieiving does happen, I cry around 4 times a week for my baby boy I lost 6 years ago, that's never gotten easier and it's too much to cope with, sounds like your friend needs someone to reach out to her - has anyone tried to broach the subject with her?

LisaB85 wrote: »

Bit of an exaggeration though, and it isn't just at home it is 24/7 where ever she is plus I pay to live here

Lisa you might find it useful to google "learned helplessness". I'm a bit confused that you say you have no job to move out, but that you pay to live with your mum - how does that work?

LisaB85

marywooyeah wrote: »

Lisa you might find it useful to google "learned helplessness". I'm a bit confused that you say you have no job to move out, but that you pay to live with your mum - how does that work?

JSA, but at least here I am with people I know and aren't stuck in 1 room 24/7 and having to deal with down and outs which is a big problem in my nearest town as well as a shortage of places that take hb/ctb claimants due to the high numbers of unemployed and immigrants because I do keep an eye on the situation. LHA won't cover most other places.

Moving out would be good if it was to improve my situation but I don't think it will, the housing officers have told me it wouldn't improve my situation and other family members have advised the same.

Ok so it is hard at home but I am relatively safe but better than living surrounded by alcoholics and those who are stuck in a rut, as I have said I have a plan and I am working hard to get there it is not helpless it is being determined to reach goals on my own 2 feet and not have to claim etc it is also realising that moving out isn't likely to make life easier.

I don't need advice as such as I have sought advice about it and have decided the best plan is to stick to my goals and focus on them.

Bronnie

Buy a tele for a fiver on ebay and watch it in your room.


You're wasting your time fretting over mother's negativity. Smile and ignore.

However, if my dd challenges me when I'm having a moan about the cr*p she's watching on tele, she just tells me I'm sounding like one of the grumpy old women. That shuts me up PDQ

LisaB85

Bronnie wrote: »

Buy a tele for a fiver on ebay and watch it in your room.


You're wasting your time fretting over mother's negativity. Smile and ignore.

However, if my dd challenges me when I'm having a moan about the cr*p she's watching on tele, she just tells me I'm sounding like one of the grumpy old women. That shuts me up PDQ

I can watch on my laptop on catch up but it isn't as comfy and unlike my sister I don't like to sit in my room 24/7 as I feel unsociable and rude if I just went down to eat then !!!!!!ed off again.

Lol wish I could get away with that but she will just sulk and say 'I'll shut my gob then and not say anything' so ignoring works best.

But get this! Last night she was moaning about something she put on to watch before I even got there!

chiefgoobster

Have you thought about doing an evening college course ? If you are unemployed, maybe it would be free or cost very little.