Why do people start arguments?

Emmzi

mine know they do it and say "it's what keeps us going!"

j.e.j.

Ich wrote: »

In answer to the OP.
Because they have little conversation in themselves so do it to get attention. As with young children who throw a tantrum to get attention, ignore them.

Yes, I also think it's probably attention-seeking. Also, perhaps for whatever reason she is not an assertive person, so all her wants and frustrations come out in this sort of negative, whingy, neurotic way. It's a shame, really. Don't think I could put up with someone like that 24/7 though!

LisaB85

j.e.j. wrote: »

Yes, I also think it's probably attention-seeking. Also, perhaps for whatever reason she is not an assertive person, so all her wants and frustrations come out in this sort of negative, whingy, neurotic way. It's a shame, really. Don't think I could put up with someone like that 24/7 though!

Oh she has no problem telling people what she wants etc usually is quite aggressive about it so people agree to keep the peace.

andygb

desert_rose wrote: »

Hubby said innocently 'They're fed up with the negativity and they don't like you very much'.

:beer: Big respect to your husband, someone very like myself I think. I had a go at my family a few times for being moany when we went to visit, and for attempting to be sarky/hypercritical about my missus.
They seem to be people who find it very easy to start arguments for no reason.

January20

From reading previous posts of yours Lisa, I have only one thing to say: make plans to move out and lead your own life. You can't change your mother and her attitude but you can change how you react to it. I mean, I have a pretty good idea of what your mother is like from what you have written in the past, so why are you wondering why she starts arguments? Or perhaps, judging from you reaction to post #7, you are perhaps too sensitive?

Part of me though thinks that you are quite comfortable with the situation since now you can come on here and rant when things are getting bad at home. A bit unfair on the people who take time to give you advice, thinking you will act on it and they are helping you.

bluebird

McKneff wrote: »

I like Vodka !!!!

Me too.:rotfl:

GracieP

Seems pretty obvious to me that your mother actually wants to watch the soaps but doesn't want to admit it. She's sitting there at 7.25pm wondering how Ken and Deirdre's latest marital crisis is going to go down but doesn't want to actually admit it. So she says to you, 'Oh I guess you'll be wanting to watch this crap then! Humph!' And switches on ITV, getting to have the best of both worlds by watching a programme she enjoys but still being able to tell herself that she's better than someone who watches such lowbrow television.

LisaB85

January20 wrote: »

From reading previous posts of yours Lisa, I have only one thing to say: make plans to move out and lead your own life. You can't change your mother and her attitude but you can change how you react to it. I mean, I have a pretty good idea of what your mother is like from what you have written in the past, so why are you wondering why she starts arguments? Or perhaps, judging from you reaction to post #7, you are perhaps too sensitive?

Part of me though thinks that you are quite comfortable with the situation since now you can come on here and rant when things are getting bad at home. A bit unfair on the people who take time to give you advice, thinking you will act on it and they are helping you.

I have plans to move out; however I have no job to pay for moving out. Ok so as an unemployed person I could find a room in a shared house but as I'm unemployed the only places I would get are damp rooms in houses full of the less desirable people who wouldn't be any better for me than my Mum. I have first hand experience of how it drags people down.

I'd also have to claim more benefits which I don't want to do, I want to do things off my own back esp as I know that it may become a long term thing in the current climate.

Even the housing officers have advised to stay where I am as I could end up in a worse situation. At the moment at least I can get out in the country and do things I can enjoy inc vol work on a farm which I'd have to give up if I moved into town (don't drive/expensive public transport) and I'd have no support.

So do not assume I am happy with the situation because I am not I just realise things could be worse BUT I do need a bit of support now and again but then I'd probably need support when moving out too because we all need support at times.

I have goals to get a job, learn to drive and then buddy up/move out into private shared room or a live in job. So I have plans and I am working bloody hard to make those plans work.

How many posts do you see where people are struggling in their home life and most people say 'move out' for many moving out isn't and won't be the best solution.

LisaB85

GracieP wrote: »

Seems pretty obvious to me that your mother actually wants to watch the soaps but doesn't want to admit it. She's sitting there at 7.25pm wondering how Ken and Deirdre's latest marital crisis is going to go down but doesn't want to actually admit it. So she says to you, 'Oh I guess you'll be wanting to watch this crap then! Humph!' And switches on ITV, getting to have the best of both worlds by watching a programme she enjoys but still being able to tell herself that she's better than someone who watches such lowbrow television.

She likes to watch real life progs set in A&E, each to their own I mean personally I don't want to watch someone having their leg sowed back on....makes me squirm.

heretolearn_2

oh dear, I could start an argument in an empty room if I'm in that mood

I hope I'm not a moaner though, I just enjoy a bit of a 'debate' sometimes. Disagreeing with someone isn't the same as arguing in a nasty way - I'm not screaming and shouting (well, not often lol).

It would be boring if we all thought the same things all the time. Do you pretend to agree with other people all the time, even if you don't actually agree with them?

I do enjoy winding OH up a bit, he's so sensible and even tempered all the time it drives me a bit nuts, I like to see him drop the saintly halo now and then .

I'll admit to taking the mick out of him for his Eastenders addiction but secretly enjoying watching it sometimes...:rotfl:

All part of lifes rich rollercoaster of living with me.

My son is the same. We are happy sitting for HOURS debating round things. We're not being angry with each other, it's an interesting conversation to us. Other people might see it as an argument?