Why do people start arguments?

Errata

Some people just enjoy moaning about everything and everybody, it's being so bloody miserable that keeps 'em going.

DVardysShadow

LisaB85 wrote: »

Perfect example of people trying to start arguments

I didn't start the thread .... that was you :p:p

In_a_quandary_2

It sounds like she has no respect for your right to make your own choices. I used to try to get my ex to do something with me- he'd always have an excuse not to. Yet he'd complain that I was "always on the computer" whilst he was watching TV. I asked why his preference for the TV was more valid than mine for the internet. There was no answer, just a rant.
Some people are just contrary.

Ich_2

In answer to the OP.
Because they have little conversation in themselves so do it to get attention. As with young children who throw a tantrum to get attention, ignore them.

LisaB85

In_a_quandary wrote: »

It sounds like she has no respect for your right to make your own choices. I used to try to get my ex to do something with me- he'd always have an excuse not to. Yet he'd complain that I was "always on the computer" whilst he was watching TV. I asked why his preference for the TV was more valid than mine for the internet. There was no answer, just a rant.
Some people are just contrary.

I had an ex like that.

We would plan to go out and I'd ask for his input, he would say he didn't care where we went so to avoid standing round both going 'I don't care where we go' I'd choose somewhere then ask if he was happy with that, he would then say 'Yeah that is good' half hearted so I'd ask again and get the same response.

He would then !!!!! about me being 'bossy' :rotfl:

*Louise*

LisaB85 wrote: »

It is like she just has nothing good to say about anything or anyone.

Errata wrote: »

Some people just enjoy moaning about everything and everybody, it's being so bloody miserable that keeps 'em going.

I have a relative like that...I hate when people can't go 5 minutes without moaning. My mum and I once had a bet when we picked her up how long it would be before she started moaning - she wasn't even fully in the car when she started and we both just collapsed in fits :rotfl:

If she's not moaning then she's talking about dead people.:eek: I cannot tell you how many times she has ruined the mood of the childrens birthday parties by talking about people who have died then crying about it. We tend to just ignore the attention seeking now, it sounds heartless but there is only so much people can take.


I used to think it was just when people got older that they tended to start moaning and complaining but I know a few younger people who do the same - I usually just smile, change the subject and not rise to the bait

marywooyeah

is this the right room for an argument?

yes! I've told you once!

no you haven't!

desert_rose

Have in-laws who constantly moan about everyone especially those who've married into the family.

It used to cause no end of arguments until gradually, one by one, we stopped going around to theirs as each of us sent our respective partners off to visit but quietly yet firmly, declined any invitations to go with them.

After a couple of years of this, one of the 'moaners' (they're a job lot in his family!) said out loud how awful we were for not turning up to xyz. Hubby said innocently 'They're fed up with the negativity and they don't like you very much'.

Strangely enough, they're even more keen that we all go around to see them...

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

*Louise* wrote: »

If she's not moaning then she's talking about dead people.:eek: I cannot tell you how many times she has ruined the mood of the childrens birthday parties by talking about people who have died then crying about it. We tend to just ignore the attention seeking now, it sounds heartless but there is only so much people can take.

I went to school with someone like that. Now, I fully admit that to lose your elderly father when you were 14 and your late middle aged mother by the time you were 17 is very sad.

However, when every comment on your facebook page that refers to the wonderful achievements of your children is, instead of 'well done, Jamie, I'm so proud of you' or 'excellent school report, Becky, we knew you could do it' is

'Jamie, I wish Nan and Grandad in The Sky could have seen you today, I wish they were still here, I miss them so much'

or 'If only Nan and Grandad could have seen you get the Star of the Week prize, Becky, it breaks my heart that they will never see you'

when said Nan and Grandad in The Sky have been there for over 20 years and the kids are 6 and 9, than they are something the kids learn they 'should' have had but have been cruelly deprived of them and no special occasion is ever a celebration, it's always another day to sob for the grandparents they never knew -

and the woman concerned still had her grandmother all this time, plus her husband, friends and his family,

You do begin to think 'couldn't you say 'well done' once, instead of reminding them that nothing counts because these mythical beings called Nan and Grandad in The Sky aren't with you?'.


And then she posts a status declaring that there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't cry at least five times for Mum and Dad.


You cannot help but think a) it's a quarter of a century ago. Surely you should have sought help by now?

b) why are you posting this? Does this mean your actual relatives have begun to not respond?

c) what on earth are you going to do when your kids get to their teens (or if the husband gets fed up) and turn round and tell you 'they're DEAD. We never knew them, but it was pretty clear that we didn't matter half as much as they did to you, as nothing we did could make you happy. It was all about Nan and Grandad in The Sky, not us' or just 'they're DEAD. They have been for years. Deal with it'?

Teenagers can say some incredibly insensitive - but accurate - things. As can spouses who wish to leave. Or are sick of the floods of tears where the crier needs attention over and above that of the person whose special day it is.



But, of course, nobody can say that to her. Because it would only knock her further down and her kids' lives would be even worse.


It's thought a lot, though.

LisaB85

Does anyone elses moaners then deny they are moaning if you mention it? 'I wasn't moaning I was just saying....'

Rest of my family are sick of it too and avoid her, there have been a few times when I've been invited for Chinese but asked to keep it secret usually by my Aunts who will say what they think.

I know some is due to depression but if someone manages it and is on meds surely it helps?