un-hinged!

mary_hinge

I am sitting outside all the family politics B011ocks at the moment and being a grown up watching all the childish behaviour.

My Sister was the only real family I had contact with out side of the Hinge house due to many many reasons and has been the case of the last 10 years. I sat by her bedside listening to them all, avading their questions and dodging the hurtful and rather vile comments, I learnt so much about myself that day. I am no long a child, scared nor intimedated by them. I am a bigger, stronger and certainly more ground person then any of them. I have some amazing achievements in my life, I am proud of my 3 beautiful children and the parent I have learnt to be. I looked at them all in a different light and I feel sure I made the right decision all them years ago I feel more settled, more peaceful. I am very much the outsider to them but to me I am free from a life I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I haven't had any funeral details yet and fear I will be kept away, I have my own thoughts and my own ways of saying good bye. One of the reasons I insisted on being the one to wash and change her, comb her hair and prepare her for her awaiting audience. We joked, I cried, I reminist...... she gave me a home when I needed one, she loved me regardless and completely unconditionally, she gave me a beautiful nephew and for much of my life was generally the mum I should of had but never did.

Each day feels more painful then the last, the realisation that this is not a terrible dream that I am waiting to wake up from is sinking in. Missy Hinge doesn't know how to feel, Superman is in a terrible state and master Hinge hasn't a clue what is going on. I am doing all I can to keep life in the house of Hinge ticking over like any good mum should, just with added tears and no excuse needed for a PJ, duvet, snuggle in front of the film night.

Sleep tight beautiful Angel, rest up for now so you can show them all how to party hard.

tootallulah

And as you are a brilliant mother she clearly taught you well and gave you a role model to look up to. Say your good byes in your own way and at the right time. It will get better but all the cliches are true, time is the only healer. Look after yourself.

Bubblesmum

Mrs H

Your sister will be looking down at you, so proud and so full of love, that you can rise above everything and just focus on your relationship with her and being a Mum.

Take each minute as they come - remember happiness can mix with sadness and it will get better

Sending :heartpuls:heartpuls:heartpuls

mary_hinge

Today marks the start of a new week in the house of hinge, PMA tells me this week will be better than the last let's face it would be hard pushed to be any worse.


The handy man fixing the house of Hinge is unhappy, he feels it is unsafe for us to be here for many reasons, Mr Hinge will work with him to give the landlord ear ache until he either gives us notice or fixes everything..... big job would mean temp accomodation for a good 6-8weeks :eek: Either way I'm sat on the phone to enviromental health to get an inspection from them.

On a positive note I have the final hearing for court this week for my car accident umpteen months ago which will settle it once and for all, hopefully in my favour as I am the innocent party. My PPI enquires so far have shown I am owed some money, 1 Card is about £48ish before any interest so not life changing money but mine none the less. I hope to hear from my Loan in the next few days.

We are holding up in the house of Hinge, everyone is full of snot and coughs like most this time of year. We have a funeral date set for a couple of weeks..... seems like a life time away but it isn't something I have been able to sort out, doors are closed, locked and bolted! :mad:

Thankyou all for your kind words and wishes, Normal service shall be resumed.

Mrs H x

Bubblesmum

Waving

Hope the coughs and colds are waving you all goodbye.

Sadly, funeral waits about 2 - 3 weeks have become the norm, I am glad you know the details x

Will send so many thoughts and prayers that EH come up trumps, and agree with builder so that they have to move you.

Hoping this week is a much better one, you perservalence shines through

liltdiddylilt

Lovely Mrs H

I am so sorry to hear of your news. There is nothing I can say to make you feel the slightest bit better. Funerals are an unneccessary part of death I feel. There are ways and means to say goodbye far beyond staring forwards in a Church listening to words from someone who did not know the person they speak of.

It sounds to me like your goodbye with your sister was beautiful and happy. The poor kids too; hope all is slightly calmer in your house this week. keep that PMA going

Yay for possible new house/fixes to this one. Landlords have to provide a certain standard so if you haven't got it, you get get him!!

Lots of hugs to you. Give those kids an extra squeeze. They have you and you they. That is all anyone needs! xx

mary_hinge

Today I feel has been the first day of "moving on" it has been 2 weeks since my beautiful big sister left us and those two week I have been complete and utterly lost, bewildered and very over whelmed.

Today I went to court and won my case, it doesn't feel like a victory and there has been no celebrations just a settling feeling that the truth has been made known a little bit of faith restored in the fact everything will be ok. My settlement is not a huge amount and less than expected but it is more than enough to cover deposit, upfront rent and any moving expenses we may come across. I know long feel trapped here and know we shall move to a house more suitable for Missy Hinge's needs regardless of council help. I feel less of a failure and much more positive about the whole thing.

I am still very much undecided if I shall attend the funeral or not my decision changes by the hour most days, I knew in my heart sat in the hospital after she had slipped away that potentially I wouldn't go to the funeral and time alone with her getting her prepared for her awaiting audience was much more of a personal good bye then any funeral could be for me.

The house still remains cursed with the plauge of man flu, coughs and sneezes, Master Hinge went back to the out of hours Dr last night as his breathing was horrendous and temp wouldn't settle, the pneumonia he had late september has yet to clear up so more antibiotics and inhalers to help. I am on my 4th night of sleeping downstairs on the sofa with him as it is the only postion whereby I can get him upright enough to help his cough yet allow him to sleep..... it is playing havoc with my pain levels and I can count on one hand how many hours sleep I have had so far this week but as a mother this is what we do for our darling children, the fact I grow up in a house with out such love and tenderness makes me strive even more that my children will.

Letter today from the DLA about Missy Hinge's claim to say it will take 11 weeks for a decision.... they've had it 5 already :rotfl:

The Slow cooker has made a come back the last few days....... pulled pork, lamb shanks in minted gravy, left overs turned in to lamb stew..... sausage casserole last night and it's currently on with a veggie spag bol..... complete with chick peas and lentils!!

Anyone have a recipie for hummous? I soaked rather alot too many chick peas :eek:

tootallulah

Dear Mrs Hinge, what tough times I am sending you the most positive of thoughts and I hope that you can get some decent sleep soon. On the positives you are in the position to move and if the council don't come though you can, and that wasn't possible before.

Bubblesmum

Dearest Mrs H

Sending you love and hugs to a very yummy mummy xxxx

Life teaches us through so many hard lessons at times, as well as listening to your struggles we can all see how your strength, tenacity and willingness to find the good out of the bad shine through.:A:A:A

:mad::mad::mad: to the council who are failing in their duty to find proper and decent accommodation for all your families needs... You are not a failure.

I would like to observe some people would have spent that money already.. Rather than taking charge of the situation, which sadly so many people and their loved ones have to do when you have disabilities. In this world today there is so much out there to make lives easier if only you have the ££ and I hope you get the pleasure and satisfaction by doing it without the councils help.

:mad::mad::mad: re DLA too...

The Funeral .... Would it help you to say I am not going to decide whether I am going or not till the day before and so I am going to put the thinking about it to one side. The other question would be what do you want to achieve from going? There is no right or wrong answer. If going and seeing those you don't want to see that would make it even more stressful would your sister want that for you. If you are wishing to support one OT two individuals you do get on with, can you do that separately on another occasion? Have you a special place you and your sister went to where you could go at that time with OH or a friend where you could sit in peaceful silence or share happy memories? Remember Funerals are a ritual for those left behind to say goodbye so do what is right for you. Sending more love. I am supporting a friend estranged from her Father going though this journey herself at the mo...

Love and hugs

Mrs B

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sending love to you and the little Hinges. Glad you got the right outcome at court, and I'm sure you will make the right decision re the funeral too Xx