You've not really had to pay for much, have you?

shegirl

floss2 wrote: »

Life was a lot cheaper a generation ago - nowadays the loans that are provided are generally not enough for anyone to survive on without an extra income / help from family / large overdraft & understanding bank manager.

Certainly when my kids went to Uni (now 24 & 26) as a single parent I didn't earn enough to have to contribute, but I paid deposits / bonds, helped out with the cost of books, subbed at the end of holidays before their next loan instalment was paid etc.

When I was a kid,due to all the american shows on tv where parents put money into 'college funds' for their kids,I always thought you had to start saving for college and uni when you were little and never thought I'd be able to go as my 'parents' were the biggest selfish scrooges going:o Imagine my relief when I discovered there were grants and loans!!!


I love my sons way of defining who is poor and who is rich.Unlike the rest of the kids around here who decide by whether your clothes are covered in brand names and logos (if they aren't, your clothes are cheap and you're poor apparently :rotfl:) he's started going by his lessons in school on medieval times and decides by whether you drink wine or beer.Daddy is poor and mummy is rich:D:rotfl:

jackieb

I must be quite lucky with my lot. For some reason when they were young and they were writing their Christmas lists my eldest always told the younger ones that they weren't allowed to put more than 5 things on their lists, and there was only to be one big thing. I don't know where that came from because I never said you can only write 5 things. And as teens they've never been into brand names, apart from my daughter who likes Converse shoes and doesn't like looky likes. My 19yo still wears a sweatshirt that my now 27yo wore when he was 15! I've tried to get him to let me throw it out as it's a bit worse for wear but he won't let me. Another son would never let me throw out his holey underpants cos he said they were comfy. It wasn't for the want of trying! They take hand me downs no problem as well. I must give off a hard up vibe.

Ames

Humphrey10 wrote: »

I guess families differ. My parents would have been extremely disappointed and ashamed of me if I hadn't intended to go to university.
No university fund needed though. It doesn't cost money to go to university, don't believe the scare stories. Unless the family earns enough to reduce the funding available to the child ofc.

Really? Wow.



I think it's good how many kids are accepting - my sister's 26 and still wishes mum had gone out to work instead of being a SAHM so that we could have had more 'stuff' as kids.

As for the 'go to the cashpoint' comments, my (maternal) grandad told my dad to do that the day mum left him, clearing out the accounts as she went ('if you've got no money go to the cashpoint, you can get £350 a day'). I suspect my dad might have sworn at him.

KxMx

Kids may be naive today. But surely it's the parents job to give them some financial education/money doesn't grow on trees talk etc?

killerpeaty

Ames wrote: »

Really? Wow.

I apologise for jumping in on this conversation, but my dad also was very very into his kids going to uni. Actually he got upset when we all went to the "wrong" type of uni and refused to speak to my brother for a couple of months for taking the "wrong" kind of degree. It was at the time when there was a real push for uni education, whether my dad wanted the best for us or just to get us all out the house (maybe a bit of both :rotfl: ) I think he believed that it was what we should have done.
Mum however wanted one of us to go to plumbing school citing "I don't have a plumber in the family" and "I need a plumber in the family". :rotfl: However I have to say that my school and college both were putting a lot more pressure on me to go to uni than either of my parents. We were yelled at and kicked out of classes if we didn't do the UCAS form/course things :-/

On topic; when I was little I didn't realise that my family was middle class, I still don't know the household income actually.. But my poor mum, I used to moan at her for not giving me the same dinner money as my brother, with 3 kids in school it would have totalled £15 a day :eek: Being a student living on £10 a week on food, that horrifies me! o:

Humphrey10

Ames wrote: »

Really? Wow.

Given that I was capable of going to university and had no other plans, yes.
It would have of course been different if I had been incapable or had made other plans, but that was not the case.

I had completely misread/misunderstood the post I was originally replying to - I had thought the poster was saying the child should not expect to be allowed to go to university, which is a view that quite annoys me. My point was that everyone has the right to go to university, if they wish to and are capable of it. They do not have the right to expect money from their parents to fund this though imo.

Anyway, on topic: I had no idea about money as a child. I only got £10 a month pocket money, I just got used to not spending money at all really, so I had no idea what things cost.
University was also helpful for learning about budgeting etc - I would go buy a games console because I had spare money, people would say 'how can you afford that we get the same loan!' when you actually sit down and look at it so many people live very expensively day-to-day by smoking, drinking, eating meat, buying fashionable tat, by running a car - if you do none of those things life is a lot cheaper!

Lunar_Eclipse

aliasojo wrote: »

Kids really don't have a clue do they? :rotfl:

Are any of yours that naive?

One is and one isn't.

Interestingly, I tell both my children we're rich, because almost everyone living in the UK is rich by global standards, it's hugely subjective defining wealth and I also rather like the biblical view of being rich, where it has nothing to do with money. They disagree, on the basis that we didn't go skiing at half term like everyone else, nor spend money like water on lots of other things.

On a financial note, I laughed in agreement with your daughter momentarily at you getting off lightly if only 1 out of 3 kids might need financial support through university. Edit for Humphrey: I agree with you. My kids are 10 and 12 and already talking about what they might study (one is fixed on Medicine and the other Art/Law/English since she's planning a few different careers!) My parents went to uni, DH & I went to uni (yes, it was expected, I questioned it and had no better plan!) and my kids expect to go to uni. In all honesty it's never crossed their minds they could choose not to. They're both very bright and in schools where it is definitely expected and the norm, but we'll wait and see what they want to do in a few years time. I have told youngest, who doesn't like school much, that she can go to Art College at 16.

Also, education aside, I don't think children are expensive. It's possible to clothe, feed and raise children fairly inexpensively, but most parents choose not to (I appreciate there are huge social pressures and expectations and am not advocating that this should change, just my belief in being conscious about things we do have choice over which many seem not to realise.) Loss of income through stay at home parenting can be considerable and is something else entirely, but the actual basic costs of raising children do not need to be anywhere near the level they are at. The teen years will be the most expensive, but I wonder if most DINKs could restructure their spending to cover all the incremental costs of those first 10 years without too much pain. I wish I'd thought of that idea sooner!

sooz

Children in the uk have little sense of money. Money management at schools is a fairly new (rehashed after previously being scrapped probably) idea.
They see mum & dad with no money in their purse or wallet putting things on cards. Debit & credit is not a concept that crosses their minds. The hole in the wall gives money ( if the goblins inside are in the right mood)
The tv they watch & radio tell them all about new cars for only £100*, instant cash loans, lotteries, competitions to win £50k etc


* terms & conditions apply etc...

Sambucus_Nigra

elantan wrote: »

Did u stay up all night to think of that reply ?

Obviously i have offended some individuals with my comments which wasnt my intention so i will leave this thread

No - some of us on here DO get up early and go out to work!

Perhaps if you explained your original comment? It might clarify your intentions...

heretolearn_2

Huh, talk about entitlement - step daughter is at uni, we were presented with a list of essential expenses she expected us to pay for including things like her mobile phone, hair dresser and a gym membership! I went right off the bloody brat at that precise moment and I can't get past it. I just found it unspeakably vile to have the nerve to ask for that. Considering she is getting all fees and maintenence money paid for her (foreign student so no loans, she isn't providing a penny herself, she doesn't have a part time job like all the other students I know, she just sits on her !!!! collecting money from the various people including us who pay for her). grrr. So yes, we do give her some money but not as much as she asked for!