overwhelmed new member

Coco114

Well I can't say I slept v well last night - was awake from 2-5 am , brain whirring !
But , I have been going at this all wrong for the moment , i need to push the unsecured to one side , keeping a roof over the kids head is the priority at the moment. As of End May reduced payment on secured loan goes back up to full wack - this will completely cripple me. It will leave me and kids £500 a month for everything ; food petrol , running costs , dinner money .... Everything. So - somehow I need to find an extra £300 a month ....so I best get my thinking cap on !!!
Coco x

Coco114

Am not sure I have the energy anymore - have managed to generate £100 a month towards the sec loan increase , by cutting back add hopefully another £50 so half way there !
Texted to ask when he is having kids over Easter weekend .... He's not can't afford it etc etc & was planning on coming here for Easter lunch ???!!! I mentioned the sec loan but, he can't do anymore as can't afford it ... So I will be paying £1000 a month to his £200 and keeping kids but he can't afford it - to be honest I am about ready to give up and walk away ....... Arrgggghhhhhh
Thanks all - feel better for that rant
Coco x

vasseur

Coco

Can't remember how you've arranged the maintenance payments? Maybe a quick call to the CSA is in order? You might find that the ex suddenly finds a fixed amount to pay you if he's got them breathing down his neck.:D I don't think he'd be able to plead poverty either - they don't care if he's in debt.

Just a thought....

Anyway i think you might need to get some legal advice. Are you in a position to sell the house and downsize/move to a cheaper area? Sorry - you've probably given a reason for all this already.

Coco114

Hi Polesalot
Well because of ridiculous sec loan am in negative equity by about £20k. He is giving me what he has to for youngest (£300) plus £200 towards nearly £1200 mort/loan payment - if he doesn't want to pay 1/2 towards mortgage costs nobody can make him - it will just get reposessed, I can't sustain those payments on my own, just more ******it !!!
Nevermind, won't panic yet - can pull in £150 extra for next month and will try & sell my phone upgrade so should be ok next month.

I would be willing to think about an evening /wknd job if I had to but already work full time , it just doesn't seem fair I guess. Catch 22 - he will pay more .... If he moves back in & I am never , ever going back there again. So , I will have to stop whining about it and work something out I guess !
Coco x

Coco114

New day so let's see where I am .... Kids awake till 4am (bless them ) crashed out in various places so not much tidying I can do yet - just enjoying peace & quiet !
Tried to talk to ex , but says can't afford anymore as really going to struggle when he gets his new lease car ....?!
Anyway , I give up on that now so on to more productive things ....
Best I can do for now : pay main mortgage & as much as I can to sec loan, at least paying 60% or so is better than nothing & at least will slow the process down. Also PPI is now finished on sec loan so should lower payments a bit , and am going to ask if they can drop my interest rate ? Worth a try I reckon , try to cut back a bit and I will just have to do the best I can for now.
Wonder if the new Tax Code will make a little difference monthly ? I hope so ....
It's very time consuming & draining feeling sorry for myself and getting angry so I am not going to bother anymore ... It's pointless
Off for a cup of tea now & read forums until the sleeping beauties all wake up - no doubt wanting bacon sandwiches !!!
Coco x

Barbeduk

Chocolate teapot is the politest thing that can be said about ex. Is the house still in both names? Just worried that you'll get it all sorted, be back in an equity situation then he says he wants his share of profit.

Is it worth speaking to someone like citizen's advice, think the more different forms of help/advice you get the better. Knowledge is power and all that.

Hope you and the kids have a good Easter weekend.:easter_os

Coco114

Hi there Barbeduk
Yes house in jt names - up until this point I have taken no legal advice , have not given his address etc to anyone and have been as "nice" as I can ..... But enough is enough so - am going to enjoy my Easter Weekend with my kids & make a start next week.
Will see Ex on Saturday , have drawn up a budget so he can see how bad it is & that me & kids will be living on nothing - but I am not going to beg , he knows right from wrong (I hope) and I can't keep protecting him to kids, so let's see what happens. For now I will pay as much of sec as I can, with a covering letter to say it's my half , my Ex isn't contributing & they can go after him for his half : won't help much but will make me feel better !
Here's to a great Easter weekend & I hope you have a great time too
Coco x
Jobs for tonight , meal plan for next week, clean out kitchen cupboards & tidy my house !!

Mr_Toad

Coco114 wrote: »

New day so let's see where I am .... Kids awake till 4am (bless them ) crashed out in various places so not much tidying I can do yet - just enjoying peace & quiet !
Tried to talk to ex , but says can't afford anymore as really going to struggle when he gets his new lease car ....?!
Anyway , I give up on that now so on to more productive things ....
Best I can do for now : pay main mortgage & as much as I can to sec loan, at least paying 60% or so is better than nothing & at least will slow the process down. Also PPI is now finished on sec loan so should lower payments a bit , and am going to ask if they can drop my interest rate ? Worth a try I reckon , try to cut back a bit and I will just have to do the best I can for now.
Wonder if the new Tax Code will make a little difference monthly ? I hope so ....
It's very time consuming & draining feeling sorry for myself and getting angry so I am not going to bother anymore ... It's pointless
Off for a cup of tea now & read forums until the sleeping beauties all wake up - no doubt wanting bacon sandwiches !!!
Coco x

A couple of things.

You should be able to get the PPI back.

Don't use one of the firms who advertise, they take a percentage and it isn't difficult to do yourself.

Tell the ex he needs to change his ideas about who is responsible for what.

Anyone who won't pay what they should towards their children and joint debts and then goes out and leases a new car beggars belief! :mad:

You need to take advice URGENTLY to see where you stand and what can be done to force him to see sense. Now is not the time to be nice and let him walk all over you and children.

My ex and me split any bills or gifts right down the middle. We put both through Uni. and have paid for car insurance and all sorts between us. I would never expect my ex to do any of it on her own!

Last Friday night my son and his partner joined us and our friends at the pub. We all had bar meals and I paid for my son and his girlfriend because last time we went out for a meal it was my ex who paid for the kids and partners, it was my turn and I was pleased to do it!

I don't know what else to say, my gast is flabbered! :mad:

Coco114

Ha ha my gast is flabbered too
Well like I say - on Sat he will shut up & listen to me for once. If I genuinely thought he was doing all he could & having kids when he said he would I wouldn't have such an issue but basically he is just taking the **ss !! & if he wants Easter Lunch with his kids - he can take them out for it !
But not going to spoil any more of my days off thinking about it
Will look into PPI , worth a shot I guess & as the policy cost about £10k over 5 years I might get something I guess. I would not go to one of those firms that charge so will look on here later for what I need to do.
Thanks Masonn.
Coco x

Mr_Toad

Coco114 wrote: »

Will look into PPI , worth a shot I guess & as the policy cost about £10k over 5 years I might get something I guess. I would not go to one of those firms that charge so will look on here later for what I need to do.
Coco x

All the fuss over PPI is down to the fact that in most cases even those people who asked for it would have found to their cost that it wouldn't have paid out for them.

This is why it was mis-sold and why the banks are having to pay out billions.

First thing after Easter you get on to it, you never know!