So poor I can't even pay attention

Piquant_2

Because of an accident I had not ridden for a long time, but it was time to get back into the saddle. I was not the only one who hadn’t been riding – neither had the Captain. As he had been off work I was concerned that his saddle might not be fitting his back properly and booked a place on the saddle fitters next visit to the yard.

Every walk of life has one. The person who has seen it, done it and can talk loudly about it for hours. The yard is no exception. There is the resident know-it-all on site, the person who claims they know everything about horses and that they can ride any horse. This is the story of how she met her match in the Captain.

I was struggling with my saddle, it was heavy and awkward, my right side was still weak from a serious accident and if I didn’t balance the saddle just so, I was likely to drop it. The know-it-all all but snatched the saddle from me and chucked it on the Captain, who grew a few inches in height… She then announced she would ride him for the saddle fitter as we were a similar size, and that she didn’t mind riding a cob on this one occasion. Oh, and it would save me injuring myself further! The Captain’s ears were back and he had a certain set to the jaw that I know means trouble. I tried to tell her how to ride him, he may be a cob but he rides with a very gentle contact and goes off the leg, no spurs necessary.

Being somewhat stunned by her rudeness I was silenced and mutely handed my horse over. It was a warm summer day and the liveries and staff were enjoying a chat and a cup of tea in the centre of the yard. There was only mild interest as the know-it-all mounted the Captain. That was soon to change.

The saddle fitter asked to have him trot up to the gate and turn to trot towards him. The know-it-all kicked him into trot, grasped the reins tightly and off they went towards the gate The Captain started to slow as he approached it. The know-it-all tapped him with her whip, whereupon he threw on the emergency brakes, reared, spun and galloped towards the muckheap where he threw a massive buck. All credit to her, she stayed on.

Naturally, the tea break party had stopped to watch. The know-it-all was not popular. Aware that she now had an audience, she smacked him hard and said ‘let’s do that again, shall we?’ So he did. Yet again she stayed on, this time accompanied by calls of encore from a rapt audience.

By now, she is furious, and charges him back at the gate and once more he spins, gallops back and finally deposits her into the muckheap. He then walked over to me and stood quietly by my side. His audience was crying with laughter and I was both proud and horrified at his behaviour and didn’t know what to say to her, other than a muttered ‘sorry, I tried to tell you he doesn’t like being hit or shouted at’.

The know-it-all had met a horse she could not ride.

Homeagain

Hi there Piquant, wishing you so much luck in the job applications; it is pretty soul destroying searching for work, I know. As for the JS, you made me laugh (again) .... standing outside M&S! I guess I would have done the same though. Ha ha!

brizzledfw

Loving the latest Captain story...I can think of some others that I would like him to do that to!!!!:rotfl:

Any progress on the L In scripts?

Brizzle

lucielle

Lol love the Captain. Girls have been riding today and loved it, off again on Friday.
L

Millie2008_2

Priceless:rotfl:

The know-it-all had met a horse she could not
ride.

They can rarely ride, IME, they just think they can. It is rare that they get shown up quite like that though...fab

Noonar

Brill story, there is one particular lady I would love that to happen too!

Have been very money saving today and made 2 homemade beef and mushrooms pies - top tip though, if you run out of plain flour don't use the left over wholemeal bread flour - ughhhhhhhhhh

Piquant_2

Nicolafine wrote: »

Hi there Piquant, wishing you so much luck in the job applications; it is pretty soul destroying searching for work, I know. As for the JS, you made me laugh (again) .... standing outside M&S! I guess I would have done the same though. Ha ha!

Hello Nicola

I was wondering where you'd got to! Welcome back, hope you are well.

Standing outside M&S is preferable I'm afraid to standing in the smoking queue. I think I'm a bit of a snob sometimes...:o

Piq

Piquant_2

Glad you liked the Captain story. Sometimes he's a little embarrassing, if he doesn't like someone, he doesn't bother hiding it. Not so long ago we went for a group hack and the know-it-all was in it. I couldn't ride alongside her, not because she bores the pants of me, but because the Captain kept trying to bite her leg

I didn't ride him today, I was planning to, but the hunt was out in the general vicinity. It doesn't matter to the Captain that he's pushing 30, he wants to run with the herd. I got caught up in the hunt once years ago. We were out for a quiet amble through the woods when we met the hunt coming the other way. I was the one dressed in an orange fleece careering past riders who were dressed in their hunting finery, hanging on for dear life to a scruffy long haired gypsy horse, who had no intention of being beaten by some toffee nosed thoroughbred. The git took me at top speed through hedgerows and over ditches - never again!

Oh, and I did some gardening. Well, not so much gardening as claiming back from nature some of the space that used to be a garden...:o

Piq

Piquant_2

Millie2008 wrote: »

Priceless:rotfl:



They can rarely ride, IME, they just think they can. It is rare that they get shown up quite like that though...fab

He shows me up too! Although sometimes he makes me look marvelous at dressage. Only because he's a big show-off and loves having an audience, it helps that he remembers the routine, even when I don't!

Piq

brizzledfw

BTW just noticed the NSDs in your sig..go you!! You have kept very quiet about that little victory! You should be shouting it from the rooftops..especially as you'll probably overshoot the goal by some way.

Have a good eve