Family fight - what would you do?

fluffnutter

elvis86 wrote: »

Perhaps they're from a family where it's deemed perfectly acceptable to ignore children that you've fathered, but only as long as they're the kids that you had earliest (ie the "mistakes") and you care for the ones you had most recently?

Well, this is where it gets bizarre. Seems like they're the kind of family where it's deemed perfectly acceptable to care about children, provided you've not actually fathered them, and if you have, then best keep quiet about it

FatVonD

Is the stepfather the genetic father to either of the stepsons? Not that it probably matters but I'm still trying to make sense of it all.

podperson

I don't think it's your OH's place to be telling his step-dad about his step-brother's child. I also don't see how it would help in any way in the present situation.

It sounds like his SD is a lovely man who doesn't obsess over 'blood' relationships since he sounds like he has a good relationship with your OH, his step son, and dotes on your child (I'm sorry I didn't get whether your child's father is your current OH but either way, again not a 'blood' relative). Therefore if he had had a chance to get to know his son's child then I'm sure he would have come to dote on him too whether he was 'officially' related to him or not.

However it sounds like he currently doesn't have a chance to get to know the child as the son has cut off all contact so it's not going to help SD cope with that by telling him that he is actually related to the child. Hopefully the son will come around from his childish little tantrum and start contact again, then maybe your OH could broach with him that it might be nice if he let his dad know.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

Pah, it's just another Facebook Saga. It all adds to the drama.

You think stuff like this never happened before facebook? :rotfl:

redpete

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I know, can't see the problem?! Why is it causing falling out, he should be delighted...

....... MiL

---

SDiL
........ ¦..............¦
OP--OH ..GF1----SB----GF2
................... ¦ ...... ¦
............... Child 2 Child 1
................Child 3

(sorry - it looked quite readable with spaces)

So Child 1 arrived before or during SB's relationship with GF1, and he is now with that child's mother.

Definite material for a shouting match on JKyle.

But - best to keep out of it, leave it up to the rest of the family to sort it out or tear themselves apart.

basil92

redpete wrote: »

MiL

---

SDiL
¦ ¦
OP--OH GF1----SB----GF2
¦ ¦
Child 2 Child 1
Child 3

So Child 1 arrived before or during SB's relationship with GF1, and he is now with that child's mother.

Definite material for a shouting match on JKyle.

:huh: ....:undecided .....:think:

I'm even more confused now:eek:


*leaves quietly*.....

euronorris

fluffnutter wrote: »

The weirdest thing here is why the step-brother's not told anyone he's actually the boy's father. Why keep it quiet? Don't get it.

No idea. My BIL does and says the strangest things sometimes.

I've long since given up trying to understand or help him, or get involved at all. I've learnt to take a step back, and just be a supportive sounding board for OH instead. Much better all round.

It was hard at first though, because I'm the kind of person who always wants to try and fix things for others, especially my OH. I suspect OP feels the same way, and I'd advise her to do the same as I have.

thorsoak

So what does it matter in the great scheme of things? Nothing!

What does blocking on Facebook mean in the great scheme of things? Nothing!

Personally, I take the view "least said, soonest mended"!

jellyhead

The bit that I don't understand is why does nobody see these other children of his? Even if their father doesn't want to see them why don't the grandparents see them?

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

You think stuff like this never happened before facebook? :rotfl:

Very true, it just wasn't there for the whole world to observe