We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Family fight - what would you do?
skintanddesperate
Posts: 5 Forumite
Will try and explain this without giving too much detail.
OH's step-brother has fallen out with the whole family, blocked everyone from FB, told us basically that he didn't need any of us and him, his gf and her son is all that he needs.
It then transpired that the reasoning behind all this is that he is jealous of my son, saying that he's not step-dad's "real" grandson (SD dotes on my boy and would do anything for him). Step-brother has two kids from a previous relationship, who neither he, nor SD sees at all.
It has transpired that his gf's son is actually his. He has told OH (before he fell out with us all), but other than that, no one else in the family knows.
OH wants to tell step-dad, but only because SB is being an @rsehole about the whole thing. I've told him not to do it for the wrong reasons. Part of me says that he should (but for the right reasons), as step-dad has a right to know, but part of me thinks that OH should keep quiet because it will only stir up more problems.
What does everyone else think?
OH's step-brother has fallen out with the whole family, blocked everyone from FB, told us basically that he didn't need any of us and him, his gf and her son is all that he needs.
It then transpired that the reasoning behind all this is that he is jealous of my son, saying that he's not step-dad's "real" grandson (SD dotes on my boy and would do anything for him). Step-brother has two kids from a previous relationship, who neither he, nor SD sees at all.
It has transpired that his gf's son is actually his. He has told OH (before he fell out with us all), but other than that, no one else in the family knows.
OH wants to tell step-dad, but only because SB is being an @rsehole about the whole thing. I've told him not to do it for the wrong reasons. Part of me says that he should (but for the right reasons), as step-dad has a right to know, but part of me thinks that OH should keep quiet because it will only stir up more problems.
What does everyone else think?
0
Comments
-
skintanddesperate wrote: »It has transpired that his gf's son is actually his. He has told OH (before he fell out with us all), but other than that, no one else in the family knows.
OH wants to tell step-dad...
Son is actually whom's? What does your OH want to tell his step-dad? Sorry but your post is really confusing.
"Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
So your OH's step-brother has been hiding the fact that he is the father of his partner's child? !!!!!!?! What does your OH hope to achieve by telling his step-dad?
The whole family sound pathetic tbh. What would I do? Nothing, I can't see how this demands any action from you, or you OH for that matter? His step-brother has fallen out with his dad, leave them to it. Simple.0 -
Sorry, it's transpired that Step-brother's gf's son is actually step-brother's from years ago (before he had his other two children).
No one knows apart from step-brother, his gf, my OH and me.0 -
skintanddesperate wrote: »Sorry, it's transpired that Step-brother's gf's son is actually step-brother's from years ago (before he had his other two children).
No one knows apart from step-brother, his gf, my OH and me.
Huh? Surely this is good news to share, and not some dastardly family secret??"Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0 -
I think the bigger part of him thinks his step-dad deserves to know. He admits he's being selfish by wanting to do it to get back at step-brother.So your OH's step-brother has been hiding the fact that he is the father of his partner's child? !!!!!!?! What does your OH hope to achieve by telling his step-dad?0 -
skintanddesperate wrote: »Sorry, it's transpired that Step-brother's gf's son is actually step-brother's from years ago (before he had his other two children).
No one knows apart from step-brother, his gf, my OH and me.
Not going to help anyone feel better now, is it?
Will just add extra upset and a dash of betrayal of confidences to the mix. Even if we assume that it's true.I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
0 -
But... going back to your question. I don't think your OH should share this with his step-dad, but only because it's simply not his news to share - it's up to his step-brother to reveal the true paternity of his son. But seriously? Why the big mystery? Surely the moment your step-brother-in-law found out the boy was actually his, why didn't he shout it from the rooftops then? It's a good thing isn't it??"Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0
-
If step-brother and his girl friend are currently living together and have a child, I don't understand why anyone would be upset that that child is theirs, (apart from the step-brothers ex who was cheated on?)
what about the kid, does he/she not know who their dad is?0 -
So step brother has a girlfriend -who he has a child with -yet no-one knows he is the father
His brother (your OH) has a stepson -your son
The grandfather dotes on your son and you believe your OH's brother is jealous of this -even though apparently he's never bothered telling his father (step father? sorry too many steps in here) this his girlfriend's son is his (whose does he think he is ?)
If the grandfather genuinely cares for your son he'll keep on seeing him -and there's no reason he can't have two "grandsons" he can "dote on" .
Sounds like everyone is jealous of everyone else and it has got out of hand. Let the brother get on with it -and just keep in contact with the Grandad. Show your son how grown-ups behave.
Realy it's none of your OH's business to tell the Grandfather and seems to be getting back at his brother rather than thinking what is good for the kid or the grandfather-best to butt out.I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0 -
Perhaps this can all be resolved on Jeremy Kyle "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell" - Edward Abbey.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.4K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards